We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off-limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto today’s topic: how men can be better sexual partners to women.
^ Jump up to: a b Bryan Strong, Christine DeVault, Theodore F. Cohen (2010). The Marriage and Family Experience: Intimate Relationship in a Changing Society. Cengage Learning. p. 186. ISBN 0-534-62425-1. Retrieved October 8, 2011. Most people agree that we maintain virginity as long as we refrain from sexual (vaginal) intercourse. But occasionally we hear people speak of 'technical virginity' [...] Data indicate that 'a very significant proportion of teens ha[ve] had experience with oral sex, even if they haven't had sexual intercourse, and may think of themselves as virgins' [...] Other research, especially research looking into virginity loss, reports that 35% of virgins, defined as people who have never engaged in vaginal intercourse, have nonetheless engaged in one or more other forms of heterosexual sexual activity (e.g., oral sex, anal sex, or mutual masturbation).
Undetectable viral load and treatment as prevention | The biology of HIV transmission | Sexual transmission | Medical procedures and other blood-borne exposure | Low and theoretical transmission risks | Condoms and lubricant | Harm reduction | Circumcision | PEP | Behaviour change interventions | Microbicides | The search for an HIV prevention vaccine | Epidemiology and behaviour | HIV prevention policy | Structural factors
Chlamydia, human papillomavirus (HPV), gonorrhea, herpes, hepatitis (multiple strains), and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs/STDs), can be transmitted through oral sex.[9][10][20] Any sexual exchange of bodily fluids with a person infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, poses a risk of infection. Risk of STI infection, however, is generally considered significantly lower for oral sex than for vaginal or anal sex, with HIV transmission considered the lowest risk with regard to oral sex.[10][11][21][22]

Resolution and refraction After ejaculation, the penis begins to lose its erection. About half of the erection is lost immediately, and the rest fades soon after. Muscle tension fades, and the man may feel relaxed or drowsy, according to Ingber. Men usually must undergo a refractory period, or recovery phase, during which they cannot achieve another erection. This period is variable in men, says Ingber. In an 18-year-old, this is typically less than 15 minutes. In elderly men, it can be up to 10 to 20 hours. The average refractory period is about half an hour. Men differ from women in that men usually are satiated after one orgasm. Women can experience more than one orgasm with no loss of sexual arousal, and do not have to undergo a refractory period.

Reynu joined WomenNow from the beginning on. She loves writing and combines this with her love for India, the country her parents emigrated from to the United States looking for a better life and opportunities. Studying litterature and journalism helped laid the foundation for her writing skills. She is into badminton and an avid runner. Her dream is to live between New York and Mumbai.
Oral sex is a highly intimate sex act. Many people find oral sex to be way more intimate than intercourse. Perhaps this is because oral sex triggers a lot of feelings of vulnerability, and it's emotionally intense to let someone so close to your most sensitive parts. Yet, oral sex remains as one of the most pleasurable and orgasmic sex acts there is, so learning how to enjoy it fully—either giving or receiving—is an essential step in loving your sex life and making sure it’s as wonderful as it can be.

Drive him wild: "Gently flicking the raphe with your tongue feels great to most men," Cavanah says. "Let him guide you on how much pressure he likes, because the amount varies depending on the guy." To get him really hot, sip on very warm tea and then flick your heated tongue over this sensitive area. He'll lose himself in the new feelings, and novelty can make for more powerful orgasms.  


It sounds intimidating, but the payoff is worth it. "Glance up at him just as you're about to take his penis as far into your mouth as you can, then maintain eye contact for a few strokes or the entire time," says Kait Scalisi, sex educator and founder of PassionbyKait.com. “This move is super intimate, as extended eye contact causes a release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, in both of you.”
7. A penis doesn't have eyeballs and can't tell the difference between the back of a throat and the roof of a mouth. All those slimy surfaces on the inside of your mouth basically just all feel the same. Except your teeth, obviously. I don't have a penis so I don't personally get the appeal of "deep-throating," but (gently) ramming the tip of his dick into the roof of your mouth feels like the same thing and it doesn't make you gag.
If you're bent over him or looking up at him, that means your cleavage is also on display. You already know he loves them, so during oral try taking his penis in one hand and tracing it over and between your breasts. "It's a different sensation that may be fun to try," says Blaylock-Johnson. "Of course, depending on how large your breasts are, it may be fun to incorporate them." We'll bet any size breast is A-OK for your partner, though.
Foreplay can mean the difference between a standard oral sex experience and the best. time. ever. To up the excitement, start by licking, blowing, stroking, and kissing everything but his penis. “Wait until he’s flushed, panting, and practically — or really! — begging for it. It’ll be more than worth the wait,” says Scalisi. You could also turn foreplay into a game with some Naughty Roll Play Dice ($18, babeland.com). They'll tell you exactly where to touch each other.
The Sultry Sidewinder allows you the sort of languishing, leisurely pace that, in the end, packs a real punch. (Slow and steady can win the climax race!) "Orgasms that result from a long, slow buildup are frequently much stronger than those that are achieved with fast and intense stimulation," explains Stubbs. "By savoring every single sensation, you're able to achieve a higher level of pleasure in the end." (Think of it like a getting-it-on gearshift — if you go straight from first to fifth, you get a quick drop-off, but if you go from first to second and so forth, your erotic engine will be humming by the time you get there.) Plus, this side-by-side setup is great for intimacy, which can sometimes get lost in the shuffle and storminess of sex. All the eye contact, kissing and closeness of this position will drive your slow climb to orgasm.
How to find it: The sacrum is the triangular bone located at the base of his spine in between his hips (think: the small of his back). There are nerves in the sacrum that are linked to the genitals, so stimulating these nerves can send sensations to his manly parts. In fact, some studies show that electrical stimulation of these nerves can trigger orgasm. 

Another risk of oral sex is strain on your relationship, particularly if one of you doesn’t enjoy it or has concerns about it. One partner may have anxiety about their oral sexual performance or what their partner will think of them during oral sex. Or oral sex may make one partner feel under the other partner’s control. These are all important issues to resolve before introducing oral sex into your relationship. 
Some babes crave one thing and one thing only... and that is to get on their knees and suck cock. At Youporn.com, you will find yourself almost overwhelmed by the selection of sexy blowjob porn videos dedicated to BJ scenes. There are a number of beautiful sirens all too happy to be filmed while giving the best hummers imaginable. From tight bodied co-eds to long-haired Latinas with big sexy mouths, your fantasies will take over you as you witness these bad girls addicted to cum. From the moment they get their first taste of warm jazz flowing down their throats, they are hooked to the taste and become obsessed with pleasuring as many cocks as possible. They soon become expert cocksuckers, all too happy when their boyfriend comes home from work or when they have to use their dirty mouths to get exactly what they want. These blowjob goddesses are some of the horniest women you will ever feast your eyes on as they are overwhelmed with multiple dicks slapping against their faces. They aren’t satisfied until they get face-fucked and have a chance to deep-throat blowjob a hard dick in a full-length sex clip.
You and your man will quickly realize why The Lusty Leapfrog has such climax potential: Hovering in a sexy squat above your man — rather than sitting or straddling him squarely — gives you the perfect chance to clench him tight. "This is one of the easiest positions in which to flex your PC muscles around the glans of his penis, which can initiate an intense orgasmic response," says Paget. This erotic arrangement also allows for better command of pacing and depth of thrusts (it's easy to vary between deep and shallow), which helps put you in control of your climax, says Kenneth Ray Stubbs, Ph.D., author of The Kama Sutra of Sexual Positions: The Tantric Art of Love. "Squatting will help you feel the entire length of his shaft as you encircle it, and the muscle tension created by holding yourself above him will really add to the intensity of your pleasure."
People give various reasons for their dislike of oral sex.[1] Some state that since it does not result in reproduction, it is therefore unnatural.[37] Others find it less intimate because it is not a face-to-face practice,[1] or believe that it is a humiliating or unclean practice;[1][38] that it is humiliating or unclean are opinions that are, at least in some cases, connected with the symbolism attached to different parts of the body.[38] Opposite these views, people also believe that oral sex "is one of the most intimate behaviors that a couple can engage in because it requires total trust and vulnerability."[1]
Drive him wild: "Gently flicking the raphe with your tongue feels great to most men," Cavanah says. "Let him guide you on how much pressure he likes, because the amount varies depending on the guy." To get him really hot, sip on very warm tea and then flick your heated tongue over this sensitive area. He'll lose himself in the new feelings, and novelty can make for more powerful orgasms.  
Try this: Britton suggests having him lie on his back and slowly licking from his areola inwards, like an ice cream cone, but never touching tongue to nip. Get closer and closer until you flick his nipple with your tongue and then gently bite it. Britton says, “Men love when you slowly build up the pressure like that, so don’t be afraid to nip him harder than you would like to be,” If you wanna be really extra, you can suck on an ice cube beforehand for more sensation.
Mae West, wise-cracking vaudeville performer, was one of the most controversial figures of her era. Rarely, however, do people think of Mae West as a writer. In Three Plays By Mae West, Lillian Schlissel brings this underexplored part of West's career to the fore by offering for the first time in book form, three of the plays West wrote in the 1920s--Sex (1926), The Drag (1927) and Pleasure Man (1928). With an insightful introduction by Schlissel, this book offers a unique look into to the life and early career of this legendary stage and screen actress.
Knowledge about the link between HPV and throat cancer varied among dentists interviewed for the article; some reported already discussing the connection with their patients, and most reported conducting cancer screenings. But dentists should do more to create awareness and increase patients’ knowledge about HPV, the authors wrote—including providing information about vaccination and prevention practices.
A report issued in September 2005 by the National Center for Health Statistics was the basis of an article in the September 26, 2005 issue of Time magazine. The report comes from the results of a computer-administered survey of over 12,000 Americans between the ages of 15 and 44, and states that over half the teenagers questioned have had oral sex. While some headlines have interpreted this as evidence that oral sex among teenagers is "on the rise", this was the first comprehensive study of its kind to examine the matter.[25] The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) stated in 2009: "Studies indicate that oral sex is commonly practiced by sexually active male-female and same-gender couples of various ages, including adolescents."[13] Research also indicates that "males are more likely than females to have received oral sex, whereas equal proportions of men and women have given oral sex."[1]

Ready to get primal? Get on all fours and allow him to stimulate you while you move and rock your hips. He can either be totally behind you if you're comfortable with his face so close to all your parts, or he can lie down and use his mouth around your clitoris. Enhance the primal experience of this position by making lots of noise, expressing your pleasure with moans, groans and even growls.
Oral sex is commonly used as a means of preserving virginity, especially among heterosexual pairings; this is sometimes termed technical virginity (which additionally includes anal sex, mutual masturbation and other non-penetrative sex acts, but excludes penile-vaginal sex).[12][13][14][37] The concept of "technical virginity" or sexual abstinence through oral sex is particularly popular among teenagers,[14][23][38] including with regard to teenage girls who not only fellate their boyfriends to preserve their virginities, but also to create and maintain intimacy or to avoid pregnancy.[14] Other reasons given for the practice among teenage girls are peer-group pressure and as their introduction to sexual activity.[14] Additionally, gay males may regard fellatio as a way of maintaining their virginities, with penile-anal penetration defined as resulting in virginity loss, while other gay males may define fellatio as their main form of sexual activity.[12][15]
Oral sex alone cannot result in pregnancy and heterosexual couples may perform oral sex as their method of contraception.[2][16][17] For conception to take place, sperm from the penis must enter the uterus and fallopian tubes and fertilize the female's egg. In humans, there is no connection between the gastrointestinal system and the reproductive system,[nb 1] and sperm ingested by the woman would be killed and broken down by acids in her stomach and proteins in the small intestine. The breakdown products are then absorbed as a negligible quantity of nutrients. However, there is a potential risk of pregnancy if semen comes in contact with the vaginal area in some way, such as semen in the ejaculate finding its way onto fingers, hands, or other body parts, which then comes in contact with the vaginal area.

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5. And speaking of that: It probably feels nothing at all like you think it does. Unless you also have a penis and have received a blow job before, the best you can do is merely speculate what getting one feels like. All you need to know is that men tend to describe them favorably, or as one guy eloquently puts it: "If sex is putting your penis in a wet, unplugged vacuum ... a blow job is plugging that vacuum in." So put all those worries that it doesn't feel good out of your mind. Assuredly, he's into it.
Try this: Have your partner take his shirt off and lay on his stomach with his arms by his side. Hot tip: keep his pants on, but pull them down a few inches for a tantalizing never-nude experience ;). Lightly run your fingers and or anxiety-ravaged cuticles down across his lower back, stopping before you hit ass cheek. Do not pass ‘Go’, collect $200, or go past his crack.
Make him go wild: Your best bet is to talk to your guy outside of the bedroom before you try to finger his anus so he doesn't get any unwanted surprises. Try bringing it up during a romantic dinner by saying you love making love with him, and want to experiment even more. You might say that you heard stimulating his prostate can trigger a really intense orgasm, and see if he would be down to try it later on. If your guy isn't comfortable with you using your fingers to gently penetrate the area, there are other ways to stimulate his prostate. One way to do this is to give some loving to his perineum, or the smooth strip of skin between his testicles and anus. The prostate is internally located between the base of his penis and his anus so touching him on the outside of that area can externally stimulate the gland. "Have him lie on his back with his knees bend and legs spread apart, and then use your fist to apply even pressure to the area with quick vibration-like motions," Michaels says.   

Plateau The male body prepares for orgasm in this phase, which can last from 30 seconds to 2 minutes. Muscle tension increases even more and involuntary body movements, particularly in the pelvis, begin to take over. The man's heart rate increases to between 150 and 175 beats per minute, says Ingber. A clear fluid may begin to flow from the urethra. This pre-ejaculatory fluid is meant to change the pH balance of the urethra, to improve the chances of sperm survival.
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Doctors used to think that human papillomavirus (HPV), the most common sexually transmitted infection in the United States, couldn’t affect the mouth. But recent research has them rethinking this notion. Scientists have now shown that the same high-risk strains of HPV that lead to cervical cancer can also be transmitted by oral sex and potentially cause head, neck, and throat cancer, as well.
Sexually active individuals should get tested regularly for STIs and HIV, and talk to all partner(s) about STIs. Anyone who thinks that he/she might have an STI should stop having sex and visit a doctor or clinic to get tested. There are free and low-cost options for testing available. It is important to talk openly with a health care provider about any activities that might put a person at risk for an STI, including oral sex. 

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