^ Ken Plummer (2002). Modern Homosexualities: Fragments of Lesbian and Gay Experiences. Routledge. pp. 1920–1921. ISBN 1134922426. Retrieved August 24, 2013. The social construction of 'sex' as vaginal intercourse affects how other forms of sexual activity are evaluated as sexually satisfying or arousing; in some cases whether an activity is seen as a sexual act at all. For example, unless a woman has been penetrated by a man's penis she is still technically a virgin even if she has had lots of sexual experience.
Much like men do when the roles are reversed, your partner wants to feel like you are having a good time down there. Otherwise she will start to feel self-conscious and immediately tense up, making it way less likely that she’ll be able to orgasm. “I’m not saying you need to take it to porn star levels of enjoyment, but a few well-timed 'mmms' and some sultry eye contact could be just the thing to send your partner into another world of pleasure,” says Morse.

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In Ancient Rome, fellatio was considered profoundly taboo.[35] Sexual acts were generally seen through the prism of submission and control. This is apparent in the two Latin words for the act: irrumare (to penetrate orally), and fellare (to be penetrated orally). Under this system, it was considered to be abhorrent for a male to perform fellatio, since that would mean that he was penetrated (controlled), whereas receiving fellatio from a woman or another man of lower social status (such as a slave or debtor) was not humiliating. The Romans regarded oral sex as being far more shameful than, for example, anal sex – known practitioners were supposed to have foul breath and were often unwelcome as guests at a dinner table.[35]

Want to take the action up a notch? Hum while he's inside your mouth. "The vibrations create an added sensation," say Michaels and Johnson. "Holding a vibrator against your cheek can do the same thing." Finally, don't underestimate the power of a well-timed moan on your end. "Making erotic sounds isn't only a turn on for him. It can also get you more excited," explain Michaels and Johnson.


Along the same lines of not being bashful, Dr. Jill McDevitt, CalExotics’ Resident Sexologist, says it’s really important to spread the labia during cunnilingus. This way, your partner has the space to approach the clitoris from all angles and sides. “Typically, beginners are really bashful about this, but spread the labia wide, get in the folds, and sensation will improve.” This is also good to keep in mind when you’re receiving cunnilingus. Don’t be afraid to reach down and ~show yourself~ for your partner.
The Blowjob Heaven Atmosphere. How you handle his brain is as important as how you handle his penis. You'll learn exactly how to build up sexual tension and anticipation by creating an erotic, relaxing, and unique atmosphere. Use this to capture his complete and undivided attention (every time). This "fit for Kings" treatment is what makes him put a diamond ring on your finger.
Once you give yourself permission to explore new ways of touching him, begin noticing his reactions. Pay exquisite attention to his responses. How does he respond when you touch ever so lightly around the head of his penis? Do faster or slower strokes peak his interest? Can you tell when he is really into it? What happens to his breathing? Does he make sounds to let you know when it feels good? By paying attention you'll gain valuable information about your lover's patterns of arousal and will be proficient in giving him pleasure. 
How to find it: "Men have a relatively higher concentration of nerve endings in the soles of their feet than women do," says Mark Michaels, coauthor of Partners in Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy, and Long-Term Love. "There is an acupressure point about one-third of the way down from the third toe, right in front of the arch in the center of the foot." Nicknamed the "bubbling spring," pressing on this point may boost blood flow throughout the body, getting him all hot and bothered.
Foreplay can mean the difference between a standard oral sex experience and the best. time. ever. To up the excitement, start by licking, blowing, stroking, and kissing everything but his penis. “Wait until he’s flushed, panting, and practically — or really! — begging for it. It’ll be more than worth the wait,” says Scalisi. You could also turn foreplay into a game with some Naughty Roll Play Dice ($18, babeland.com). They'll tell you exactly where to touch each other.
Blow his freakin' mind and detract minutes from the amount of time his D is in your M by teasing your partner, pre-blow job. Getting him all worked up by kissing his hips and thighs feels great for him, and if you know your partner takes a bit longer to finish from oral, this might speed things up a bit. Not that there's anything wrong with taking your time! But sometimes you need to put oral sex on the express track. And there's nothing wrong with that either.
Oral Herpes: You can transmit oral herpes to your partner's genital. In fact, HSV-1 (the type that causes cold sores) may be even more contagious than HSV-2 (the type associated with genital herpes). In general, performing oral sex on a woman is safer than performing oral sex on a man. However, herpes transmission in both directions is a real risk.
Now don't get me wrong I love giving head I always have but it's very discouraging when you can't make your own husband cum! He is in the military and left for training for a couple weeks and I wanted to do something nice for him when he got home so I bought your book. My attitude has been shit for the past couple years because I've been so frustrated and I really worked on that and I think I did a pretty damn good job! When he came home I tried out your advice and not only did he cum he said it was the best head he's ever gotten and he said his orgasm was deeper and more intense than its ever been! I also had a lot of fun and enjoyed making him feel so good. So just wanted to say thanks, it really helped!
Receiving oral sex while standing up opens up a few great pleasure benefits. Most importantly, the giver uses their hands to add more stimulation to oral sex. Using hand job techniques during oral sex allows complete stimulation of the entire penis while taking the pressure off the giver to take the entire length of their lover's shaft into their mouth.
Perhaps the most important aspect of Schlissel's sleuthing is that excerpts from West's obscenity trial and disturbingly the censor's accusations sound as troubling today as they did 80 years ago. The arguments used 80 years ago to ban Mae West's bon mots are not unlike those used today to bar gay and lesbian artists from public funding and public self-expression.
Dirty Texts & Sexting – While your man is at work or is just out of the house, try sending him some dirty texts, letting him know about what’s on your mind and what you are planning for later. It can be something filthy like, “I can wait to feel you explode in my mouth tonight.” Or it can be something a little more reserved like, “Can’t wait to see you later…and my lips can’t wait either ;)” Or you can describe in detail the blow job tip you’ve just learned and are going to perform on him.
How to find it: The sacrum is the triangular bone located at the base of his spine in between his hips (think: the small of his back). There are nerves in the sacrum that are linked to the genitals, so stimulating these nerves can send sensations to his manly parts. In fact, some studies show that electrical stimulation of these nerves can trigger orgasm.
Much like men do when the roles are reversed, your partner wants to feel like you are having a good time down there. Otherwise she will start to feel self-conscious and immediately tense up, making it way less likely that she’ll be able to orgasm. “I’m not saying you need to take it to porn star levels of enjoyment, but a few well-timed 'mmms' and some sultry eye contact could be just the thing to send your partner into another world of pleasure,” says Morse.

7. A penis doesn't have eyeballs and can't tell the difference between the back of a throat and the roof of a mouth. All those slimy surfaces on the inside of your mouth basically just all feel the same. Except your teeth, obviously. I don't have a penis so I don't personally get the appeal of "deep-throating," but (gently) ramming the tip of his dick into the roof of your mouth feels like the same thing and it doesn't make you gag.

As with other types of sexual activity, oral sex carries the risk of STIs. It may be possible to get some STIs in the mouth or throat from giving oral sex to a partner with a genital or anal/rectal infection, particularly from giving fellatio. It also may be possible to get certain STIs on the penis, and possibly the vagina, anus or rectum, from receiving oral sex from a partner with a mouth or throat infection. It’s possible to have an STI in more than one area, for example in the throat and the genitals.
18. A blow job isn't like a magic button that makes him come right now immediately. Although men do seem to love them, it's not something that begins and ends in a matter of seconds (usually). These things can be a lot of work, especially if you're down there for, like, 10 minutes. You can quit literally whenever you want though — never feel like you're dropping out of a race early.
Out & About – If you are both out in public together or at a dinner party where you can’t possibly be intimate, then it’s the perfect time to lean across and whisper something in his ear to get him thinking about what you’ve got planned for later. The Dirty Talking Guide will give you step-by-step advice, examples, and tips on what to say to tease, tantalize and amp up the sexual tension with your man.
Books are an easy way to jump-start your own sex ed. The Big Bang by Nerve is a great entry-level primer to all things sex. She Comes First by Ian Kerner is an incredible book about refining your oral sex technique. Check out some books about sex positions or female orgasm. These are all fun topics to brush up on, so this shouldn’t ever feel like a chore!
Really, this happens. In a recent BMJ case report, dentists detailed how a patient who regularly performed oral sex on men developed a strange lesion on the roof of his mouth, due to “blunt trauma” during fellatio. The sucking motion associated with fellatio may have also played a role, the authors wrote, causing blood to pool and clot in this area.

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