Don’t be fooled by the term “oral sex” — your mouth doesn’t have to carry the full burden of her pleasure. “Your tongue is great, don’t get me wrong, but you’ve got two other tools at your disposal that can really help to bring her home: Your hands. You can easily bring your fingers into play while you give your mouth a break," says Morse. "And it doesn’t stop there: A lot of women really enjoy a bit of manual stimulation during cunnilingus,” says Morse. Doing so can even help her orgasm faster.
Bacterial vaginosis (vaginal inflammation caused by bacterial overgrowth) is easily spread from woman to woman, but HIV/AIDS is much less likely to be passed on this way, for example. If you’re a lesbian or bisexual woman who has had sex with men, you’re more at risk of the full range of STIs. Talk to your doctor about testing if you’re concerned you may be at risk.
There is an increased risk of STI transmission if the receiving partner has wounds on his or her genitals, or if the giving partner has wounds or open sores on or in his or her mouth, or bleeding gums. Brushing the teeth, flossing, undergoing dental work soon before or after performing oral sex can also increase the risk of transmission, because all of these activities can cause small scratches in the lining of the mouth. These wounds, even when they are microscopic, increase the chances of contracting STIs that can be transmitted orally under these conditions. Such contact can also lead to more mundane infections from common bacteria and viruses found in, around and secreted from the genital regions. Because of the aforementioned factors, medical sources advise the use of condoms or other effective barrier methods when performing or receiving oral sex with a partner whose STI status is unknown.
Assume an all-fours crawling position and let him enter you from behind, either standing or kneeling on the bed behind you. "But instead of staying on your hands and knees, tilt your shoulders downward with your forearms flat on the bed in front of you," says Paget. The natural curve in your back from this variation will expand or contract your vaginal wall so you can monitor how deep he goes. If you arch your back into a small hump, it will shorten your vagina and shift the stimulation down a notch; bend it the other way and you'll get deeper, more intense thrusting action. Plus, he'll get strong stimulation to the head of his penis, the most sensitive part. If you don't like him to go deep, have him use a circular motion so his pelvic bones don't push into your tush. Should your arms begin to ache from the exertion, meld with the mattress by lying flat on your stomach but arching your buttocks upward by placing a pillow under your pelvis. He'll be perfectly positioned to hit your G-spot, which is on the anterior (tummy side) vaginal wall.
Most countries do not have laws that ban the practice of oral sex, though some cultures may consider it taboo. People may also have negative feelings or sexual inhibitions about giving or receiving oral sex; they may refuse to engage in it of their own volition. Commonly, people do not regard forms of oral sex as affecting the virginity of either partner, though opinions on the matter vary.
"When I'm giving oral, I have as much fun with it as I can. This is a powerful position to be in, and I look at it as a privilege to induce such pleasure. If I'm receiving, I focus very much on enjoying myself and being present in the moment and letting go of my perfectionistic lifestyle. While giving is a power trip, receiving is vulnerable and requires trust."
Resolution and refraction After ejaculation, the penis begins to lose its erection. About half of the erection is lost immediately, and the rest fades soon after. Muscle tension fades, and the man may feel relaxed or drowsy, according to Ingber. Men usually must undergo a refractory period, or recovery phase, during which they cannot achieve another erection. This period is variable in men, says Ingber. In an 18-year-old, this is typically less than 15 minutes. In elderly men, it can be up to 10 to 20 hours. The average refractory period is about half an hour. Men differ from women in that men usually are satiated after one orgasm. Women can experience more than one orgasm with no loss of sexual arousal, and do not have to undergo a refractory period.
To Control – Using sex as a weapon and method for controlling your man is a recipe for disaster. If you start withholding sex to try to get your husband to do something, then both of you are going to develop a negative attitude towards all things sex very quickly. Equally, promising to give him a blow job only if he does this or that is going to foster an unhealthy situation for your sex life.
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Positions that tend to allow men full control of penetration (this can mean depth, rhythm, etc.) tend to give men more pleasure. “This typically means that rear-entry positions allow for the most access as he is in control and her body allows deeper penetration in these positions, whether it's doggy style or some other variation,” says Dr. Kat Van Kirk, a licensed marriage and sex therapist and resident sex expert for www.AdamandEve.com.
Drive him wild: "If you're with a man who enjoys this, start by stroking around the aureole and gently tweaking the nipple with your fingers," Cavanah says. "Lick around it and suck on it, increasing pressure and gently biting it. Nipples can be twisted and pulled to great effect, too." She also suggests trying a pair of nipple clamps when he's really turned on. It will keep blood flow in the area, increasing sensitivity and keeping them at attention. Or try sucking on an ice cube and then sucking on his nipples. "The contraction of his nipples due to the cold can heighten the sensations," Michaels says.
Let women make their own decisions, and respect their choices. Keep your judgments to yourself (or better yet, take some time to examine why you’re making any judgments in the first place). A good rule of thumb: Don’t treat a woman in a way that you wouldn’t want another man to treat your mom or sister. This is obviously a huge topic (oh man, the rant that I could go on right now!), but the bottom line is this: We can all contribute to a healthier, happier, more sex-positive world by simply respecting each other. That’s not so hard, is it?
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Drive him wild: Many guys are heavily conditioned to focus solely on the genitals. "If you expand his capacity to have erotic experiences throughout his entire body, you can open up a whole other world of possibility for him," Michaels says. The thumb is actually a sexy spot for a lot of guys. "To suck on a man's thumb evokes sucking on something else, and can help him connect his mind and body during lovemaking. Start off foreplay by gazing into his eyes as you kiss his hands, and then suck on his thumb as a promise for what's to come," Michaels suggests.
It may be surprising to hear, but men love foreplay to be drawn out significantly longer more than most women think. So, while giving him a quickie BJ can be super hot for both of you (like say sneaking away for a few minutes at a party), you’ll find that a slow, teasing build up is going to result in your man blowing a bigger load…and a bigger smile on his face. This is probably the most powerful, but also the most overlooked blow job tip you can learn. With this in mind, here are a bunch of great “fellatio foreplay” tips that you can use before giving your man head:
Reynu joined WomenNow from the beginning on. She loves writing and combines this with her love for India, the country her parents emigrated from to the United States looking for a better life and opportunities. Studying litterature and journalism helped laid the foundation for her writing skills. She is into badminton and an avid runner. Her dream is to live between New York and Mumbai.
That said, sometimes it’s a special occasion and your partner may want to try a position that is extra-awesome for you. Whether it’s your birthday, anniversary, or you got a promotion at work, sometimes they just want to do something special just for you. And who are you to say no? While this may mean an opportunity to try something previously off limits (like a threesome), it can also mean that rare treat.
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All of this pressure women feel around our bodies affects our enjoyment of sex. It’s hard to be in the moment when you’re worried about your stomach looking flabby or ashamed of the way your genitals taste. There’s no way to understand what it’s like to be a woman if you aren’t one, but I bring up this issue because being sensitive about this can help men be better partners to women. Men aren’t responsible for making women feel more self-confident, but you can help her feel more comfortable in the moment. Tell her the specific things you love about her body. Compliment her during the most vulnerable moments, like when you’re taking off her clothes or moving down between her legs. Let her know that the way she tastes and smells turns you on.
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Probably the worst thing you can do, pre-blow job, is underestimate your own abilities. Be confident! You're better at this than you think you are, and most guys are grateful that you ventured south at all. If you're truly nervous, tell your partner about it. And if that's off the table, talk about with some female friends. They've definitely been nervous, too. Talking it out can help, big time.
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The trick here is getting the height right. The guy needs to be able to line up with the head without stretching or squatting. You can also try this oral sex position while lying on a dining room table or even a pool table. Remember, deep throating is a very advanced skill and won't be pleasurable or comfortable for everyone, so go slowly with exploring this position and make sure you're both enjoying it.
Try this: Have him lay on his back while you straddle him and give him what he really wants: a view of your scalp as you make your way down on him. Starting from his belly button, use your fingers and nails to trace a line down from his happy trail stopping before you hit total groin. Then retrace your steps, but use your tongue to trace a “V” shape from his hips to right above his penis. Draw it out and really tease him until he can’t take it any longer.
Fellatio can be sexually arousing for both participants, and may lead to orgasm for the receiving partner. It may be performed by a sexual partner as foreplay before other sexual activities (such as vaginal or anal intercourse), or as an erotic and physically intimate act in its own right. Like most forms of sexual activity, oral sex creates a risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections (STIs/STDs). However, the transmission risk for oral sex, especially HIV transmission, is significantly lower than for vaginal or anal sex.
In terms of mastering the oral sex process, speed isn't the name of the game. “Trust me when I say that things will move a whole lot faster if you slow everything down,” says Morse. Take the time to get familiar with the female anatomy, which you can do using your eyes and your hands. “The clitoris, which is located above the vaginal opening, contains about 8,000 pleasure-packed nerve endings." Make it the area where you focus most of your attention.
We want depth of penetration but we also want the pleasure of anticipation. That’s where teasing comes in. “In this position, the woman gets to pleasure and tease the man while at the same time, he can thrust as hard or soft as he wants from below by simply pulling her down close to his chest. Both get extreme pleasure and some control,” says Briana Banks, the longest contracted Vivid star, and behind only Jenna Jameson, the most published adult magazine model ever. â€¨
You can kiss his penis any way you want, but it will be a lot easier when you use your hand to hold it in place while you kiss it. There are multiple different ways to kiss his penis, from giving him small, quick ‘pecks’, to giving him longer, more intense kisses. He’ll especially love it if you give him extra wet, sloppy kisses. Don’t be surprised if you can see precum or semen dripping from his cock at this stage.
In Ancient Rome, fellatio was considered profoundly taboo. Sexual acts were generally seen through the prism of submission and control. This is apparent in the two Latin words for the act: irrumare (to penetrate orally), and fellare (to be penetrated orally). Under this system, it was considered to be abhorrent for a male to perform fellatio, since that would mean that he was penetrated (controlled), whereas receiving fellatio from a woman or another man of lower social status (such as a slave or debtor) was not humiliating. The Romans regarded oral sex as being far more shameful than, for example, anal sex – known practitioners were supposed to have foul breath and were often unwelcome as guests at a dinner table.
The orgasmic advantage of the Canine Coupling (a special version of doggie-style) is that it directs intense, firm pressure from your man's member to your G-spot; pressure so pointed, in fact, that Stubbs says it's "one of the only positions where the penis is touching the G-spot like a bull's-eye. It's a direct hit." Says Paget, "It's primal. This is how animals do it. So when people want to connect with their raw, unbridled, passionate sexuality, they often look to this position." Then there's the erotic incognito element: The fact that neither of you are able to see the other's face can lead to lower self-consciousness and higher pleasure-consciousness. "When you're not able to use your visual sense, you rely on your senses of touch, sound and smell, which allow you to let go and pay attention to the sensations that will help lead you to climax," explains Paget.
Your hands are sensitive, dexterous, and capable of giving your man intense pleasure and powerful climaxes. With a little skill and confidence, you can fully satisfy your man and leave him feeling saturated with pleasure. Let's face it, sometimes the idea of intercourse or oral sex is too much. But you may be turned on enough to kiss, cuddle, and give your man a fabulous orgasm with your hands!
You and your man should be facing each other on your sides, superclose together, says Paget. Raise your upper leg and help him to slide inside you, then drape the leg over his and tight around it. "Try to arrange it so that your feet are braced against a wall or footboard," she advises. "That way, you can use the strength in your feet, legs and toes to give you the action you want." If you tend to get tense before climaxing, this is the perfect move to do as you peak upward. "Some women require a form of strong muscular contraction to get to that next level of stimulation that leads to orgasm," says Paget. "The side-by-side allows you to have that firm, full-body contraction while staying in motion." Adjust the coital fit of his entry by tensing or relaxing your thighs together. You'll hug his trunk, stimulating the inner walls of your entire vagina; by relaxing your legs and opening them somewhat, he'll have a bigger range of motion, which can help you get intense clitoral titillation en route to your climax.