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We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off-limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto today’s topic: how men can be better sexual partners to women.
Don’t be fooled by the term “oral sex” — your mouth doesn’t have to carry the full burden of her pleasure. “Your tongue is great, don’t get me wrong, but you’ve got two other tools at your disposal that can really help to bring her home: Your hands. You can easily bring your fingers into play while you give your mouth a break," says Morse. "And it doesn’t stop there: A lot of women really enjoy a bit of manual stimulation during cunnilingus,” says Morse. Doing so can even help her orgasm faster.
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The Pleasure Man was put on trial 2 years after the premiere, charging the company for "sex, degeneracy, and sex perversion". The trial was riddled with homophobia, chastising the “degenerates” that they saw on the stage, and asking if their manners of female impersonation carried on off stage. The jury failed to reach a decision and the charges were dismissed. West never appeared in court and was fined $60,000[1]
The sexy views of doggy style and (especially) reverse cowgirl can be great for ass men, who get to view (and touch) the ass as much as they like.  “When physical limitations do not intrude, there’s also a lot to be said for the excitement of lifting his partner up (legs around his waist for stability, and up against a wall for even more stability),” says Queen. 


Fellatio is legal in most countries. Laws of some jurisdictions regard fellatio as penetrative sex for the purposes of sexual offenses with regard to the act, but most countries do not have laws which ban the practice, in contrast to anal sex or extramarital sex. In Islamic literature, the only forms of sexual activity that are consistently explicitly prohibited within marriage are anal sex and sexual activity during menstrual cycles.[39] However, the exact attitude towards oral sex is a subject of disagreements between modern scholars of Islam. Authorities considering it "objectionable" do so because of the penis's supposedly impure fluids coming in contact with the mouth.[40] Others emphasize that there is no decisive evidence to forbid oral sex.[41]
The male character has a few Michael-Corleone-in-Sicily moments with various women on public transport until he finally meets a Scottish girl, who, after lengthy preliminaries, finally gives him a blowjob in an airplane bathrooma scene written with less eroticism and a weaker grasp of human sexuality than the snippets of very bad porn I have glimpsed, well, never mind.
Tanya's Deep-throat Manifesto, my co-author and friend Tanya J., a former adult film star, teaches you the ins and outs of deep-throating like a pro – killing your gag-reflex has never been this easy. Believe it or not – mastering the art of deep-throating is your one way ticket to a loving relationship. Once you go "all in" he'll never view you the same again.

Using your hands first, gently caress his inner thighs, penis, scrotum, testicles, and perineum, paying attention to his reactions (verbal and facial) as you touch certain spots. Many men who have sensitivity in their penis are particularly sensitive around the head (known as the glans), especially the frenulum, an indentation between the glans and the shaft on the underside of the penis. You might want to brush up on your knowledge of male sexual anatomy, to know what you’re working with.
After massaging him for a few minutes, help him take off his trousers and briefs. Then just keep doing what you were doing, running your hands over his manhood. If you like, you can also softly trace your fingers up and down his dick and around his balls. If you want to learn more hand job techniques, then make sure to check out the Hand Job Guide here.
The thing is, I'm not your boyfriend and I don't have a reason to lie to you that your blowjobs are great when, in fact, you probably have no idea what you're doing. Even if you're "good" – that just doesn't cut it. You have no idea how mind-blowing your blowjobs can actually be. If don't ruin blowjobs for any other woman that ever puts her lips around him, then you're not doing a good job and you're not protecting your relationship.
The essential aspect of fellatio is for a man's sex partner to take his penis into their mouth, and then move their mouth up and down the penis to a rhythm set by them mimicking the thrusting motion of vaginal or anal intercourse, with saliva acting as a lubricant, and being careful not to bite or scratch with the teeth.[3] The man receiving fellatio can slow the rhythm of the stimulation by holding his partner's head. The man's partner may also orally play with his penis by licking, sucking, kissing or otherwise playing with the tongue and lips.[3] Fellatio may also include the oral stimulation of the scrotum, whether licking, sucking or taking the entire scrotum into the mouth.[5][6]
Plateau The male body prepares for orgasm in this phase, which can last from 30 seconds to 2 minutes. Muscle tension increases even more and involuntary body movements, particularly in the pelvis, begin to take over. The man's heart rate increases to between 150 and 175 beats per minute, says Ingber. A clear fluid may begin to flow from the urethra. This pre-ejaculatory fluid is meant to change the pH balance of the urethra, to improve the chances of sperm survival.
Flying foxes have been observed engaging in oral sex.[57] Indian flying fox males will lick a female's vulva both before and after copulation, with the length of pre-copulation cunnilingus positively correlated with length of copulation.[58] The fruit bat Cynopterus sphinx, has been observed to engage in fellatio during mating. Pairs spend more time copulating if the female licks the male than if she does not.[56][59] Male Livingstone's fruit bats have been observed engaging in homosexual fellatio, although it is unknown if this is an example of sexual behavior or social grooming.[60] Bonin flying foxes also engage in homosexual fellatio, but the behavior has been observed independently of social grooming.[57]
You may have heard that eating foods like pineapple can change the taste of your vagina. And while published studies on this topic don't seem to exist (unsurprisingly), anecdotal evidence lends support to the idea that pineapple can make a difference. In 2017, Alyssa Dweck, MD, a New York–based ob-gyn and co-author of The Complete A to Z for Your V, told Health that her patients have said they definitely notice a change "in a good way" after eating pineapple.
Each new partner does not come with an instruction manual, and you can’t always count on your partner to tell you exactly what she wants in the moment. If you’re looking for a hint or two to help you figure out what is working and what isn’t, you’ll have to rely on the next best thing: Her nonverbal cues. “Even if your partner is not a big moaner, her body will tell you everything you need to know," says Morse. Some signs to look for include quicker breathing, her body becoming flushed, a more engorged clitoris, more vaginal lubrication, and her thrusting her pelvis closer to you. "If all else fails, you can always ask her if she likes something or not — just be sure to phrase it in a sexy way so it sounds more like dirty talk than a request for feedback,” says Morse.
The Pleasure Man was put on trial 2 years after the premiere, charging the company for "sex, degeneracy, and sex perversion". The trial was riddled with homophobia, chastising the “degenerates” that they saw on the stage, and asking if their manners of female impersonation carried on off stage. The jury failed to reach a decision and the charges were dismissed. West never appeared in court and was fined $60,000[1]
^ Jump up to: a b Tan, Min; Gareth Jones; Guangjian Zhu; Jianping Ye; Tiyu Hong; Shanyi Zhou; Shuyi Zhang; Libiao Zhang (October 28, 2009). Hosken, David, ed. "Fellatio by Fruit Bats Prolongs Copulation Time". PLoS ONE. 4 (10): e7595. Bibcode:2009PLoSO...4.7595T. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0007595. PMC 2762080. PMID 19862320. Retrieved October 28, 2009.
It's no secret that women have some very specific pleasure points on their body, and hopefully, your guy is no stranger to the clitoris and G-spot. Yet you might be surprised to know that the male body also has particular erogenous zones, or trigger spots, that—when stimulated—will make his orgasms more powerful and your sex life better than ever. "Orgasm is the release of sexual tension, and tension is created through gradually increasing and varying touch and pressure on his passion points," says Claire Cavanah, cofounder of Babeland, a national chain of women-owned sex shops, and coauthor of Moregasm: Babeland's Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex and Sex Toys 101. "Licking and biting with your mouth, then adding in heat or cold sensations by sucking on an ice cube or drinking hot tea will drive him wild." To find out where to touch him to make his toes curl, click through our hot list. (Related: The 4 Simple Things You Need for Amazing Sex) 

Oral sex, sometimes referred to as oral intercourse, is sexual activity involving the stimulation of the genitalia of a person by another person using the mouth (including the lips, tongue or teeth) or throat. Cunnilingus is oral sex performed on female genitals, while fellatio is oral sex performed on a penis.[1][2] Anilingus, another form of oral sex, is oral stimulation of a person's anus.[1] Oral stimulation of other parts of the body (as in kissing and licking) is usually not considered oral sex.

Regardless of if you’re performing fellatio or cunnilingus, it’s supes important to show enthusiasm. Think about it. The best technical skill in the world doesn’t matter if the giver seems bored, uninterested, or even worse, turned off while going down on you. Kovacs recommends vocal enthusiasm, eye contact, and smiling to show your partner how much you enjoy pleasing them. It’s also important to be okay with messiness. “Show your partner that you like having their deliciousness all over your face. That nothing about them doesn't turn you on, and that you delight in their delight.” says Kovacs.


Along the same lines of not being bashful, Dr. Jill McDevitt, CalExotics’ Resident Sexologist, says it’s really important to spread the labia during cunnilingus. This way, your partner has the space to approach the clitoris from all angles and sides. “Typically, beginners are really bashful about this, but spread the labia wide, get in the folds, and sensation will improve.” This is also good to keep in mind when you’re receiving cunnilingus. Don’t be afraid to reach down and ~show yourself~ for your partner.
Arousal The man perceives something or someone that prompts sexual interest. That perception prompts the brain to send a signal down the spinal cord to the sex organs, causing an erection. The penis becomes erect when blood fills spongy tissue inside its shaft, brought by arteries that have expanded to allow blood to race in at up to 50 times its normal speed. The veins in the penis that normally drain blood out squeeze shut so that more blood remains inside, producing a firm erection. The scrotum pulls toward the body, and muscles throughout the body increase in tension.
In some cultures, such as Cambodia, Chinese in Southeast Asia, northern Manchu tribes along Amur River,[47] Sambians in Papua New Guinea, Thailand, Telugus of India, Hawaii and other Pacific Islanders, briefly taking the penis of a male infant or toddler into one's mouth was considered a nonsexual form of affection or even a form of ritual, greeting, respect, parenting love, or lifesaving.[48][49][50][51] According to some sources, it was an ancient Chinese custom for grandmothers, mothers, and elder sisters to calm their baby boys with fellatio.[52][53] It has also been reported that some modern Chinese mothers have performed fellatio to their moribund sons as affection and means for lifesaving, because they culturally believe that when the penis is completely retracted into the abdomen, the boy or man will die.[51][54][55]
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It’s especially important not to compare her to your past partners. Your past experiences will create a good foundation of sexual skills, but don’t ever directly compare her to someone you’ve been with in the past. I’ve heard so many men say things like “All of the women I’ve been with have loved that position” or “My ex never had a problem orgasming.” These kinds of comments are insensitive and hurtful. They’re not going to magically change her preferences (“Oh really? Now I love that position, too!”), and they’re going to (rightfully) piss her off.

The chance an HIV-negative person will get HIV from oral sex with an HIV-positive partner is extremely low. However, it is hard to know the exact risk because a lot of people who have oral sex also have anal or vaginal sex. The type of oral sex that may be the riskiest is mouth-to-penis oral sex. But the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex.
Q: This is a rather general question, but I was wondering if you could write about how men can be good sexual partners for women. I have had several relationships end because the guy didn’t seem like he could be a partner in creating a healthy sex life. I know I’m not going to be sexually compatible with every guy I meet, but it seems like so many guys out there are selfish or disrespectful when it comes to sex.

Try this: Give him a lipstick blowjob — AKA where you brush your closed but relaxed lips against the head of his penis, like you’re applying lipstick. Hold his shaft with your fingers, but not in a fist (avoid holding his penis like a microphone, but do approach it with the same blind confidence of a mediocre stand up act). Keesling suggests varying the sensations by opening your mouth a bit and rubbing his head between them.

^ Robert Crooks; Karla Baur (2010). Our Sexuality. Cengage Learning. pp. 286–289. ISBN 0495812943. Retrieved August 30, 2012. Noncoital forms of sexual intimacy, which have been called outercourse, can be a viable form of birth control. Outercourse includes all avenues of sexual intimacy other than penile–vaginal intercourse, including kissing, touching, mutual masturbation, and oral and anal sex.

People give various reasons for their dislike of oral sex.[1] Some state that since it does not result in reproduction, it is therefore unnatural.[37] Others find it less intimate because it is not a face-to-face practice,[1] or believe that it is a humiliating or unclean practice;[1][38] that it is humiliating or unclean are opinions that are, at least in some cases, connected with the symbolism attached to different parts of the body.[38] Opposite these views, people also believe that oral sex "is one of the most intimate behaviors that a couple can engage in because it requires total trust and vulnerability."[1]


Receiving oral sex while standing up opens up a few great pleasure benefits. Most importantly, the giver uses their hands to add more stimulation to oral sex. Using hand job techniques during oral sex allows complete stimulation of the entire penis while taking the pressure off the giver to take the entire length of their lover's shaft into their mouth.
Flying foxes have been observed engaging in oral sex.[57] Indian flying fox males will lick a female's vulva both before and after copulation, with the length of pre-copulation cunnilingus positively correlated with length of copulation.[58] The fruit bat Cynopterus sphinx, has been observed to engage in fellatio during mating. Pairs spend more time copulating if the female licks the male than if she does not.[56][59] Male Livingstone's fruit bats have been observed engaging in homosexual fellatio, although it is unknown if this is an example of sexual behavior or social grooming.[60] Bonin flying foxes also engage in homosexual fellatio, but the behavior has been observed independently of social grooming.[57]

The Blowjob Heaven Atmosphere. How you handle his brain is as important as how you handle his penis. You'll learn exactly how to build up sexual tension and anticipation by creating an erotic, relaxing, and unique atmosphere. Use this to capture his complete and undivided attention (every time). This "fit for Kings" treatment is what makes him put a diamond ring on your finger.
The essential aspect of fellatio is for a man's sex partner to take his penis into their mouth, and then move their mouth up and down the penis to a rhythm set by them mimicking the thrusting motion of vaginal or anal intercourse, with saliva acting as a lubricant, and being careful not to bite or scratch with the teeth.[3] The man receiving fellatio can slow the rhythm of the stimulation by holding his partner's head. The man's partner may also orally play with his penis by licking, sucking, kissing or otherwise playing with the tongue and lips.[3] Fellatio may also include the oral stimulation of the scrotum, whether licking, sucking or taking the entire scrotum into the mouth.[5][6]
But doctors say that oral sex is still sex, especially because it carries many of the same risks as intercourse if it’s not done responsibly. “A lot of women focus on, ‘Well, I won’t get pregnant,” says Dr. Rosser. “But I say there’s another very serious issue with unprotected sex, whether it be vaginal or oral, and that is the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. As doctors, we tell people that, in that sense, oral sex still counts.”
The orgasmic advantage of the Canine Coupling (a special version of doggie-style) is that it directs intense, firm pressure from your man's member to your G-spot; pressure so pointed, in fact, that Stubbs says it's "one of the only positions where the penis is touching the G-spot like a bull's-eye. It's a direct hit." Says Paget, "It's primal. This is how animals do it. So when people want to connect with their raw, unbridled, passionate sexuality, they often look to this position." Then there's the erotic incognito element: The fact that neither of you are able to see the other's face can lead to lower self-consciousness and higher pleasure-consciousness. "When you're not able to use your visual sense, you rely on your senses of touch, sound and smell, which allow you to let go and pay attention to the sensations that will help lead you to climax," explains Paget.
Sometimes, as guys, you may take it for granted that you are more into oral sex than your partner. That’s actually not true: Women really love oral sex too, and if we are asking for it, we should be giving the same and more back. Reciprocity is an incredibly important part of sexual satisfaction, and women can be satisfied tremendously via oral sex: it just takes a bit more effort and consideration on your part to make it the best experience it can be for her. 
The chance an HIV-negative person will get HIV from oral sex with an HIV-positive partner is extremely low. However, it is hard to know the exact risk because a lot of people who have oral sex also have anal or vaginal sex. The type of oral sex that may be the riskiest is mouth-to-penis oral sex. But the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex.

Chlamydia, human papillomavirus (HPV), gonorrhea, herpes, hepatitis (multiple strains), and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs), can be transmitted through oral sex.[4][5][26] Any sexual exchange of bodily fluids with a person infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, poses a risk of infection. Risk of STI infection, however, is generally considered significantly lower for oral sex than for vaginal or anal sex, with HIV transmission considered the lowest risk with regard to oral sex.[5][6][27][28]
While male nipples are basically the same as human nipples, they might even be more sensitive than yours since guys aren’t used to having them touched so often. "For a lot of men, their nipples are uncharted territory — an erogenous zone they haven't experimented with," explains Patti Britton, PhD, a Los Angeles-based clinical sexologist and author of the The Complete Idiot's Guide to Sensual Massage. Touch them, however, and you'll send shock waves of pleasure radiating through him, she adds.
Dear Beloved Reader, we're going to be real with you. We're asking you to join our membership program so we can become fully financially sustainable (and you get some cool perks too!) With plummeting ad rates across the media industry, we're at an urgent risk of shutting down. And we don't want you to face Trump and his kind without the unique resources we provide. If everyone reading this only gave $12, we could raise enough money for the entire year in just one day. For the price of a single lunch out, you can help save us. We're an independent feminist media site, led entirely by people of color, and that pays everyone who writes for us. If Everyday Feminism has been useful to you, please take one minute to keep us publishing the articles you've come to rely on us for. Thank you! Click here to join!
Sometimes, as guys, you may take it for granted that you are more into oral sex than your partner. That’s actually not true: Women really love oral sex too, and if we are asking for it, we should be giving the same and more back. Reciprocity is an incredibly important part of sexual satisfaction, and women can be satisfied tremendously via oral sex: it just takes a bit more effort and consideration on your part to make it the best experience it can be for her. 
Either way, you've got nothing to lose – you can now try it completely risk-free, it comes with a 60-day, 100% money-back guarantee. Just email me if your guy isn't absolutely blown away by your very next blowjob and I'll refund all of your money, no questions asked. However, I urge you to take advantage of my offer while all of these awesome free bonuses are still on the table. Spots are limited.

Oral sex is commonly used as a means of preserving virginity, especially among heterosexual pairings; this is sometimes termed technical virginity (which additionally includes anal sex, mutual masturbation and other non-penetrative sex acts, but excludes penile-vaginal sex).[7][8][9][11] The concept of "technical virginity" or sexual abstinence through oral sex is popular among teenagers.[12][13] Additionally, gay males may regard oral sex as a way of maintaining their virginities, with penile-anal penetration defined as resulting in virginity loss, while other gay males may define oral sex as their main form of sexual activity.[7][14] By contrast, lesbian pairings commonly view oral sex or fingering as resulting in virginity loss, though definitions of virginity loss vary among lesbians as well.[7][10][15]
The show was described as depicting backstage burlesque and one reviewer called it the "queerest show you've ever seen" and as having "all the Queens" in it. Another review noted the presence of "Harlem bacchanales". A couple of favorable reviews found it entertaining, but most reviewers gave it rather scornful criticism including description of it as "filth" and "foul exhibitionism".[2]
It's no secret that women have some very specific pleasure points on their body, and hopefully, your guy is no stranger to the clitoris and G-spot. Yet you might be surprised to know that the male body also has particular erogenous zones, or trigger spots, that—when stimulated—will make his orgasms more powerful and your sex life better than ever. "Orgasm is the release of sexual tension, and tension is created through gradually increasing and varying touch and pressure on his passion points," says Claire Cavanah, cofounder of Babeland, a national chain of women-owned sex shops, and coauthor of Moregasm: Babeland's Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex and Sex Toys 101. "Licking and biting with your mouth, then adding in heat or cold sensations by sucking on an ice cube or drinking hot tea will drive him wild." To find out where to touch him to make his toes curl, click through our hot list. (Related: The 4 Simple Things You Need for Amazing Sex) 
While male nipples are basically the same as human nipples, they might even be more sensitive than yours since guys aren’t used to having them touched so often. "For a lot of men, their nipples are uncharted territory — an erogenous zone they haven't experimented with," explains Patti Britton, PhD, a Los Angeles-based clinical sexologist and author of the The Complete Idiot's Guide to Sensual Massage. Touch them, however, and you'll send shock waves of pleasure radiating through him, she adds.
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