Try this: Have your partner take his shirt off and lay on his stomach with his arms by his side. Hot tip: keep his pants on, but pull them down a few inches for a tantalizing never-nude experience ;). Lightly run your fingers and or anxiety-ravaged cuticles down across his lower back, stopping before you hit ass cheek. Do not pass ‘Go’, collect $200, or go past his crack.
We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off-limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto today’s topic: how men can be better sexual partners to women.
We want depth of penetration but we also want the pleasure of anticipation. That’s where teasing comes in. “In this position, the woman gets to pleasure and tease the man while at the same time, he can thrust as hard or soft as he wants from below by simply pulling her down close to his chest. Both get extreme pleasure and some control,” says Briana Banks, the longest contracted Vivid star, and behind only Jenna Jameson, the most published adult magazine model ever. â€¨
"The key is to breathe in through your mouth and out through your nose. If you can learn circular breathing (something musicians who play instruments that require breath know), you can go down on a girl for hours without having to come up for air. It's actually reverse circular breathing. To make sure your tongue doesn't cramp up, keep your jaw comfortably open and loose. I've found that upward strokes under the clitoral hood where the clitoris is are one of the best motions."
Ready to get primal? Get on all fours and allow him to stimulate you while you move and rock your hips. He can either be totally behind you if you're comfortable with his face so close to all your parts, or he can lie down and use his mouth around your clitoris. Enhance the primal experience of this position by making lots of noise, expressing your pleasure with moans, groans and even growls.
Drive him wild: "Gently flicking the raphe with your tongue feels great to most men," Cavanah says. "Let him guide you on how much pressure he likes, because the amount varies depending on the guy." To get him really hot, sip on very warm tea and then flick your heated tongue over this sensitive area. He'll lose himself in the new feelings, and novelty can make for more powerful orgasms.
Try this: Britton suggests having him lie on his back and slowly licking from his areola inwards, like an ice cream cone, but never touching tongue to nip. Get closer and closer until you flick his nipple with your tongue and then gently bite it. Britton says, “Men love when you slowly build up the pressure like that, so don’t be afraid to nip him harder than you would like to be,” If you wanna be really extra, you can suck on an ice cube beforehand for more sensation.
Option 1 is that you leave and do nothing to improve your sex life. You may think blowjobs are not that important for a relationship's success... and that's OK, but pray a Blowjob Queen never puts her lips around your man's penis. Or your relationship may fall apart like a house of cards in a thunderstorm. I'm a guy and I know how men think – we are sexual, hedonistic creatures and we will always choose better sex if we have the option. Why risk it or worry about it when you can have a carefree, loving relationship?
Probably the worst thing you can do, pre-blow job, is underestimate your own abilities. Be confident! You're better at this than you think you are, and most guys are grateful that you ventured south at all. If you're truly nervous, tell your partner about it. And if that's off the table, talk about with some female friends. They've definitely been nervous, too. Talking it out can help, big time.
Other slang terms for oral sex include going down on (male or female), licking out and muff diving (female), blow job (male), dome (male or female), sucking off (male), playing the skin flute (male recipient), rolling cigars (male recipient), lolly-gagging (gay male-on-male), gaining knowledge (male recipient) and bust down (male). Forced fellatio is often called Egyptian rape or simply Egyptian; this goes back to the time of the Crusades when Mamluks were alleged to force their Christian captives to do this.
The chance an HIV-negative person will get HIV from oral sex with an HIV-positive partner is extremely low. However, it is hard to know the exact risk because a lot of people who have oral sex also have anal or vaginal sex. The type of oral sex that may be the riskiest is mouth-to-penis oral sex. But the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex.
It is possible that getting certain STDs, such as chlamydia or gonorrhea, in the throat may not pose as great a threat to an infected person’s health as getting an STD in the genital area or rectum. Having these infections in the throat might increase the risk of getting HIV. Having gonorrhea in the throat also may lead to spread of the disease throughout the body. In addition:
Undetectable viral load and treatment as prevention | The biology of HIV transmission | Sexual transmission | Medical procedures and other blood-borne exposure | Low and theoretical transmission risks | Condoms and lubricant | Harm reduction | Circumcision | PEP | Behaviour change interventions | Microbicides | The search for an HIV prevention vaccine | Epidemiology and behaviour | HIV prevention policy | Structural factors
Oral Herpes: You can transmit oral herpes to your partner's genital. In fact, HSV-1 (the type that causes cold sores) may be even more contagious than HSV-2 (the type associated with genital herpes). In general, performing oral sex on a woman is safer than performing oral sex on a man. However, herpes transmission in both directions is a real risk.
Many STDs can be spread through oral sex. However, it is difficult to compare the exact risks of getting specific STDs from specific types of sexual activity. This is partly because most people who have oral sex also have vaginal or anal sex. Also, few studies have looked at the risks of getting STDs other than HIV from giving oral sex on the vagina or anus, compared to giving oral sex on the penis.
In terms of mastering the oral sex process, speed isn't the name of the game. “Trust me when I say that things will move a whole lot faster if you slow everything down,” says Morse. Take the time to get familiar with the female anatomy, which you can do using your eyes and your hands. “The clitoris, which is located above the vaginal opening, contains about 8,000 pleasure-packed nerve endings." Make it the area where you focus most of your attention.
The Ancient Indian Kama Sutra, dating from the first century AD, describes oral sex, discussing fellatio in great detail (the Kama Sutra has a chapter on auparishtaka (or oparishtaka), "mouth congress") and only briefly mentioning cunnilingus. However, according to the Kama Sutra, fellatio is above all a characteristic of eunuchs (or, according to other translations, of effeminate homosexuals or transwomen similar to the modern Hijra of India), who use their mouths as a substitute for female genitalia.
Symptoms: Often there are no symptoms. In the first or primary stage of infection, may have a single sore or multiple sores on mouth, throat, genitals, or anus. In the second stage, may have a skin rash (often on the palms of the hands and the soles of the feet, but also on other body parts). The symptoms of syphilis will disappear with or without treatment, but without treatment, the infection remains in the body and may cause organ damage.
Make him go wild: Your best bet is to talk to your guy outside of the bedroom before you try to finger his anus so he doesn't get any unwanted surprises. Try bringing it up during a romantic dinner by saying you love making love with him, and want to experiment even more. You might say that you heard stimulating his prostate can trigger a really intense orgasm, and see if he would be down to try it later on. If your guy isn't comfortable with you using your fingers to gently penetrate the area, there are other ways to stimulate his prostate. One way to do this is to give some loving to his perineum, or the smooth strip of skin between his testicles and anus. The prostate is internally located between the base of his penis and his anus so touching him on the outside of that area can externally stimulate the gland. "Have him lie on his back with his knees bend and legs spread apart, and then use your fist to apply even pressure to the area with quick vibration-like motions," Michaels says.
The fuel for the process leading to orgasm is testosterone, a hormone produced in steady supply by the testicles. The testicles also make millions of sperm each day, which mature and then are mixed with whitish, protein-rich fluids. These fluids nourish and support the sperm so they can live after ejaculation for a limited time. This mixture of fluid and sperm, known as semen, is what is moved through the urethra and out the penis during orgasm.
How to find it: "Men have a relatively higher concentration of nerve endings in the soles of their feet than women do," says Mark Michaels, coauthor of Partners in Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy, and Long-Term Love. "There is an acupressure point about one-third of the way down from the third toe, right in front of the arch in the center of the foot." Nicknamed the "bubbling spring," pressing on this point may boost blood flow throughout the body, getting him all hot and bothered.
The Sultry Sidewinder allows you the sort of languishing, leisurely pace that, in the end, packs a real punch. (Slow and steady can win the climax race!) "Orgasms that result from a long, slow buildup are frequently much stronger than those that are achieved with fast and intense stimulation," explains Stubbs. "By savoring every single sensation, you're able to achieve a higher level of pleasure in the end." (Think of it like a getting-it-on gearshift — if you go straight from first to fifth, you get a quick drop-off, but if you go from first to second and so forth, your erotic engine will be humming by the time you get there.) Plus, this side-by-side setup is great for intimacy, which can sometimes get lost in the shuffle and storminess of sex. All the eye contact, kissing and closeness of this position will drive your slow climb to orgasm.
^ Ken Plummer (2002). Modern Homosexualities: Fragments of Lesbian and Gay Experiences. Routledge. pp. 1920–1921. ISBN 1134922426. Retrieved August 24, 2013. The social construction of 'sex' as vaginal intercourse affects how other forms of sexual activity are evaluated as sexually satisfying or arousing; in some cases whether an activity is seen as a sexual act at all. For example, unless a woman has been penetrated by a man's penis she is still technically a virgin even if she has had lots of sexual experience.
Zoey's boyfriend got tired of constantly being on the receiving end of bad blowjobs so he took her to his mature Ex lover for hands on training. Zoey was eager to please her man, she followed every instruction and surpassed expectations. After slobbing on the knob, Zoey got fucked from behind while simultaneously getting her pretty little asshole licked. Her boyfriend and his Ex had their way with Zoey, they taught her a few valuable lessons that she'll never forget.
A: Thanks for your question! I love talking about the nitty-gritty, but I welcome the opportunity to talk about larger topics, too. I’m all about creating a more sex-positive world, and it’s important to talk about how we can all contribute to that. Of course, I have to give the caveat that not all men approach sex the same way. That being said, there are some broad patterns I have noticed in my work with men and straight couples.