When was the last time you had sex with just your hands? What are your first thoughts when this question is posed? Many women haven't brought a man fully to climax with just their hands since high school or college. Some think it "doesn't count as sex." Others are simply at a loss, claiming they don't know how. Or, you might think a man can do that all on his own, so why would you bother?
But doctors say that oral sex is still sex, especially because it carries many of the same risks as intercourse if it’s not done responsibly. “A lot of women focus on, ‘Well, I won’t get pregnant,” says Dr. Rosser. “But I say there’s another very serious issue with unprotected sex, whether it be vaginal or oral, and that is the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. As doctors, we tell people that, in that sense, oral sex still counts.”
There is an increased risk of STI transmission if the receiving partner has wounds on his or her genitals, or if the giving partner has wounds or open sores on or in his or her mouth, or bleeding gums. Brushing the teeth, flossing, undergoing dental work soon before or after performing oral sex can also increase the risk of transmission, because all of these activities can cause small scratches in the lining of the mouth. These wounds, even when they are microscopic, increase the chances of contracting STIs that can be transmitted orally under these conditions. Such contact can also lead to more mundane infections from common bacteria and viruses found in, around and secreted from the genital regions. Because of the aforementioned factors, medical sources advise the use of condoms or other effective barrier methods when performing or receiving oral sex with a partner whose STI status is unknown.
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"Talk to them! Ask them if they like what you're doing, ask them what they want. Have an open conversation and keep that conversation going throughout the sexual experience. But most importantly, don't do anything you aren't comfortable with. You should always feel comfortable enough with anyone you're having any type of sex with to talk openly about your personal limits."
The thing is, I'm not your boyfriend and I don't have a reason to lie to you that your blowjobs are great when, in fact, you probably have no idea what you're doing. Even if you're "good" – that just doesn't cut it. You have no idea how mind-blowing your blowjobs can actually be. If don't ruin blowjobs for any other woman that ever puts her lips around him, then you're not doing a good job and you're not protecting your relationship.
I bet you’ve never thought about your dude’s Adam’s apple as an erogenous zone, huh? If you have, congrats, you should probably be writing this instead of me. But for the normies out there, the thought behind this stems from how the thyroid (just below the Adam’s apple) is “closely linked to the sex organs, according to ancient Chinese medicine,” according to reflexologist Mantak Chia, author of Sexual Reflexology.
It's no secret that women have some very specific pleasure points on their body, and hopefully, your guy is no stranger to the clitoris and G-spot. Yet you might be surprised to know that the male body also has particular erogenous zones, or trigger spots, that—when stimulated—will make his orgasms more powerful and your sex life better than ever. "Orgasm is the release of sexual tension, and tension is created through gradually increasing and varying touch and pressure on his passion points," says Claire Cavanah, cofounder of Babeland, a national chain of women-owned sex shops, and coauthor of Moregasm: Babeland's Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex and Sex Toys 101. "Licking and biting with your mouth, then adding in heat or cold sensations by sucking on an ice cube or drinking hot tea will drive him wild." To find out where to touch him to make his toes curl, click through our hot list. (Related: The 4 Simple Things You Need for Amazing Sex)
When I first read your book I had never given a bj and I was extremely nervous and I had no idea what to do. Your advice helped me soooooo much I was so confident. My boyfriend actually asked if I was lying to him when I told him he was the first. None of the other stuff about this I found were as encouraging as yours and I couldn't belive how excited I was to give head. Now I do it all the time for my boyfriend and he adores me for it! One time I even did it while he was driving he loved it! Anyway I just wanted to thank you. Honestly your advice was so much help I you helped strengthen my relationship! Any girl who gives head, whether they are a beginer or a pro, they should check your book out. Thanks again!
Although these sexually transmitted infections usually manifest in the genital area, they can also appear in the mouth and throat. “I have seen infections in which people think they have strep throat and they go to the student health center,” says Dr. Rosser. “When they test positive for chlamydia or gonorrhea, they have to come to me for treatment.” Curing either bacterial STI usually entails a course of antibiotics.