Open, honest communication is one of the pillars of fantastic sex. It’s vital for so many different reasons. You need to be able to tell her what your desires are, and to ask what hers are. It’s important to give feedback about what each of you likes. If you’re in a relationship, there will definitely be times where you have to communicate about problems in your sex life. And it’s really hot to talk dirty during sex itself! Talking about sex is hard for most people, but it gets a lot easier with practice. Check out this straightforward primer on developing your sexual communication skills.

While male nipples are basically the same as human nipples, they might even be more sensitive than yours since guys aren’t used to having them touched so often. "For a lot of men, their nipples are uncharted territory — an erogenous zone they haven't experimented with," explains Patti Britton, PhD, a Los Angeles-based clinical sexologist and author of the The Complete Idiot's Guide to Sensual Massage. Touch them, however, and you'll send shock waves of pleasure radiating through him, she adds.

An intensely pleasurable blow job tip that you can use on him is to use the tip of your tongue to apply a gentle flicking motion to it. While you are naturally going to stimulate his frenulum while sucking him (learn tips on sucking here and here) or just licking his penis (learn some oral sex licking techniques here), this technique is different as you will be focusing all your stimulation on a very specific point on his penis.

Oral sex is commonly used as a means of preserving virginity, especially among heterosexual pairings; this is sometimes termed technical virginity (which additionally includes anal sex, mutual masturbation and other non-penetrative sex acts, but excludes penile-vaginal sex).[7][8][9][11] The concept of "technical virginity" or sexual abstinence through oral sex is popular among teenagers.[12][13] Additionally, gay males may regard oral sex as a way of maintaining their virginities, with penile-anal penetration defined as resulting in virginity loss, while other gay males may define oral sex as their main form of sexual activity.[7][14] By contrast, lesbian pairings commonly view oral sex or fingering as resulting in virginity loss, though definitions of virginity loss vary among lesbians as well.[7][10][15]


While there's no male equivalent for the queening position, men deserve to feel like royalty, too. Receiving oral sex while seated in a comfortable chair, his lover kneeling in front of him, is perhaps the closest men can feel to sitting on a throne. Make it even more special by allowing him to watch a sports game, porn or another video of choice. Or put a special drink in his hand, or light a cigar before going down.
Assume an all-fours crawling position and let him enter you from behind, either standing or kneeling on the bed behind you. "But instead of staying on your hands and knees, tilt your shoulders downward with your forearms flat on the bed in front of you," says Paget. The natural curve in your back from this variation will expand or contract your vaginal wall so you can monitor how deep he goes. If you arch your back into a small hump, it will shorten your vagina and shift the stimulation down a notch; bend it the other way and you'll get deeper, more intense thrusting action. Plus, he'll get strong stimulation to the head of his penis, the most sensitive part. If you don't like him to go deep, have him use a circular motion so his pelvic bones don't push into your tush. Should your arms begin to ache from the exertion, meld with the mattress by lying flat on your stomach but arching your buttocks upward by placing a pillow under your pelvis. He'll be perfectly positioned to hit your G-spot, which is on the anterior (tummy side) vaginal wall.
Lack Of Variation – An obvious, but often forgotten blow job “don’t” is a lack of variation. Just like performing the same tasks over and over at the office make for a dull, boring workday, this is also the case for your sex life. In fact studies have shown that while both men and women enjoy new sexual experiences, men have a higher preference for new and exciting sexual stimulation[8], so why not give it to him!
When was the last time you had sex with just your hands? What are your first thoughts when this question is posed? Many women haven't brought a man fully to climax with just their hands since high school or college. Some think it "doesn't count as sex." Others are simply at a loss, claiming they don't know how. Or, you might think a man can do that all on his own, so why would you bother?
You can kiss his penis any way you want, but it will be a lot easier when you use your hand to hold it in place while you kiss it. There are multiple different ways to kiss his penis, from giving him small, quick ‘pecks’, to giving him longer, more intense kisses. He’ll especially love it if you give him extra wet, sloppy kisses. Don’t be surprised if you can see precum or semen dripping from his cock at this stage.
12. You don't have to swallow and then giggle and say, "OMG, it's so fun to swallow your hot steamy cum, I really love it a lot!" Also, you just don't have to swallow at all. The man whose dick you're sucking is not going to scream and holler at you if you demurely dispose of his cum into a napkin or cup or something. He might get a little upset if you spit it directly onto his face, but that's really just between the two of you.
Oral sex is commonly used as a means of preserving virginity, especially among heterosexual pairings; this is sometimes termed technical virginity (which additionally includes anal sex, mutual masturbation and other non-penetrative sex acts, but excludes penile-vaginal sex).[12][13][14][37] The concept of "technical virginity" or sexual abstinence through oral sex is particularly popular among teenagers,[14][23][38] including with regard to teenage girls who not only fellate their boyfriends to preserve their virginities, but also to create and maintain intimacy or to avoid pregnancy.[14] Other reasons given for the practice among teenage girls are peer-group pressure and as their introduction to sexual activity.[14] Additionally, gay males may regard fellatio as a way of maintaining their virginities, with penile-anal penetration defined as resulting in virginity loss, while other gay males may define fellatio as their main form of sexual activity.[12][15]
Plant your feet on the mattress, allowing you to push off your feet and move your hips. This can be your first step in becoming a more active receiver during oral sex. By shifting your hips a little up and down, or to the right and left, you can help your lover's tongue find your most sensitive spots. Once you gain more confidence and are ready to go wild, try moving your hips in circles to maximize your pleasure.
For oral sex on a man, use a condom during oral sex. For oral sex on a woman, or when performing anilingus on a man or a woman, use a dam. A dam is a small thin latex or plastic square that acts as a barrier between the vagina or anus and the mouth. It may prevent the spread of STIs. You can buy dams at some sexual health clinics, online or at your pharmacy. 

Q: This is a rather general question, but I was wondering if you could write about how men can be good sexual partners for women. I have had several relationships end because the guy didn’t seem like he could be a partner in creating a healthy sex life. I know I’m not going to be sexually compatible with every guy I meet, but it seems like so many guys out there are selfish or disrespectful when it comes to sex.
Oral Herpes: You can transmit oral herpes to your partner's genital. In fact, HSV-1 (the type that causes cold sores) may be even more contagious than HSV-2 (the type associated with genital herpes). In general, performing oral sex on a woman is safer than performing oral sex on a man. However, herpes transmission in both directions is a real risk.
The male character has a few Michael-Corleone-in-Sicily moments with various women on public transport until he finally meets a Scottish girl, who, after lengthy preliminaries, finally gives him a blowjob in an airplane bathrooma scene written with less eroticism and a weaker grasp of human sexuality than the snippets of very bad porn I have glimpsed, well, never mind.
Perhaps the most important aspect of Schlissel's sleuthing is that excerpts from West's obscenity trial and disturbingly the censor's accusations sound as troubling today as they did 80 years ago. The arguments used 80 years ago to ban Mae West's bon mots are not unlike those used today to bar gay and lesbian artists from public funding and public self-expression.
Fellatio (also known as fellation,[1] and in slang as blowjob, BJ, giving head, or sucking off[2]) is an oral sex act involving the use of the mouth or throat, which is usually performed by a person on the penis of another person. If performed on oneself, the act is called autofellatio.[3][4] Oral stimulation of the scrotum may also be termed fellatio,[5][6] or colloquially as teabagging.[7]

It doesn’t matter how memorable your oral skills may be — if your partner is distracted or stuck in her head, she is not going to be able to enjoy herself. “Oral sex offers an interesting paradox; many women love it yet it can find it so challenging to relax into the moment. This is why so many women tense up when their partner goes down," says Dr. Emily Morse, host of the Sex With Emily podcast and author of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight. "The best thing you can say to a woman is, ‘Relax, I’ve got all night.' " Since women can worry about whether you want to be down there and may be self-conscious about how long it takes them to get off, a quick reassurance will go a long way.
Oral sex may be performed as foreplay to incite sexual arousal before other sexual activities (such as vaginal or anal intercourse),[1][3] or as an erotic and physically intimate act in its own right.[1][2] Like most forms of sexual activity, oral sex can pose a risk for contracting sexually transmitted infections (STIs/STDs). However, the transmission risk for oral sex, especially HIV transmission, is significantly lower than for vaginal or anal sex.[4][5][6]
The dentist’s chair may seem like the last place you should be getting quizzed about your sex life, but some doctors think that should change. In an article published in January 2018 in the Journal of the American Dental Association, a group of physicians argued that dentists are in a unique position to screen for and speak with their patients about HPV-related cancers and the risks of unprotected oral sex.

Tanya's Deep-throat Manifesto, my co-author and friend Tanya J., a former adult film star, teaches you the ins and outs of deep-throating like a pro – killing your gag-reflex has never been this easy. Believe it or not – mastering the art of deep-throating is your one way ticket to a loving relationship. Once you go "all in" he'll never view you the same again.
It is possible that getting certain STDs, such as chlamydia or gonorrhea, in the throat may not pose as great a threat to an infected person’s health as getting an STD in the genital area or rectum. Having these infections in the throat might increase the risk of getting HIV. Having gonorrhea in the throat also may lead to spread of the disease throughout the body. In addition:
Using your hands is also the best way to explore prolonging his arousal and delaying ejaculation. Your hands can quickly respond to feedback, allowing you to back off on stimulation before he reaches the point of "no return" and climaxes. After you gain confidence using your hands to pleasure him, begin playing with prolonging his pleasure. Work together to notice and communicate as he gets closer to ejaculation, and play with backing off and building up as many times as you can before he simply can't wait any longer and wants to experience his climax.
Lack Of Variation – An obvious, but often forgotten blow job “don’t” is a lack of variation. Just like performing the same tasks over and over at the office make for a dull, boring workday, this is also the case for your sex life. In fact studies have shown that while both men and women enjoy new sexual experiences, men have a higher preference for new and exciting sexual stimulation[8], so why not give it to him! 

16. Penises that look small and non-menacing sometimes feel like novelty-sized pool noodles when they are inside of your mouth. Oh, it looked like a pinky finger from afar, but now that it's in your mouth, it's like one of those little toys that grows when you put it in water. What's happening in there? Who knows. Maybe we're all overestimating the size of our mouth holes.
My Special Advanced Edition is NOT for beginners. This is what takes your already good blowjob skills to the next level – it's like having a PhD in Blowjobology. Even the most skilled porn stars and professionals have a thing or two to learn here. I was a bit reluctant to release this to the public as it can give women an unfair advantage over other women (and have her steal a man under another woman's nose) – please use these skills in an ethical manner.

You and your man will quickly realize why The Lusty Leapfrog has such climax potential: Hovering in a sexy squat above your man — rather than sitting or straddling him squarely — gives you the perfect chance to clench him tight. "This is one of the easiest positions in which to flex your PC muscles around the glans of his penis, which can initiate an intense orgasmic response," says Paget. This erotic arrangement also allows for better command of pacing and depth of thrusts (it's easy to vary between deep and shallow), which helps put you in control of your climax, says Kenneth Ray Stubbs, Ph.D., author of The Kama Sutra of Sexual Positions: The Tantric Art of Love. "Squatting will help you feel the entire length of his shaft as you encircle it, and the muscle tension created by holding yourself above him will really add to the intensity of your pleasure."
How to find it: The sacrum is the triangular bone located at the base of his spine in between his hips (think: the small of his back). There are nerves in the sacrum that are linked to the genitals, so stimulating these nerves can send sensations to his manly parts. In fact, some studies show that electrical stimulation of these nerves can trigger orgasm.
Oral sex is often regarded as taboo,[1] but most countries do not have laws which ban the practice. Commonly, people do not regard oral sex as affecting the virginity of either partner, though opinions on the matter vary.[7][8][9][10] People may also have negative feelings or sexual inhibitions about giving or receiving oral sex, or may flatly refuse to engage in the practice.[1]
The classic oral sex position for men is very similar to the classic oral sex position for women. Guys get to lie back, relax and enjoy all of the pleasure of fellatio. This position is great for the giver as well because it allows the giver to control the depth and speed of penetration. This position works well for an oral quickie when you're using oral stimulation as part of foreplay. But if you want to make oral sex last a long time, this position isn't the best choice.

The sexy views of doggy style and (especially) reverse cowgirl can be great for ass men, who get to view (and touch) the ass as much as they like.  “When physical limitations do not intrude, there’s also a lot to be said for the excitement of lifting his partner up (legs around his waist for stability, and up against a wall for even more stability),” says Queen. 

But doctors say that oral sex is still sex, especially because it carries many of the same risks as intercourse if it’s not done responsibly. “A lot of women focus on, ‘Well, I won’t get pregnant,” says Dr. Rosser. “But I say there’s another very serious issue with unprotected sex, whether it be vaginal or oral, and that is the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. As doctors, we tell people that, in that sense, oral sex still counts.”

Although these sexually transmitted infections usually manifest in the genital area, they can also appear in the mouth and throat. “I have seen infections in which people think they have strep throat and they go to the student health center,” says Dr. Rosser. “When they test positive for chlamydia or gonorrhea, they have to come to me for treatment.” Curing either bacterial STI usually entails a course of antibiotics.
Women should pay attention to how their vagina feels during and after oral sex, says Dr. Rosser, and make sure that it’s not being irritated by scratchy facial hair or a too-enthusiastic tongue, for example. Oral sex can also alter a woman’s natural pH, at least temporarily, but her body will usually self-regulate and bring things back to normal fairly quickly, before an infection can set in.
All of this pressure women feel around our bodies affects our enjoyment of sex. It’s hard to be in the moment when you’re worried about your stomach looking flabby or ashamed of the way your genitals taste. There’s no way to understand what it’s like to be a woman if you aren’t one, but I bring up this issue because being sensitive about this can help men be better partners to women. Men aren’t responsible for making women feel more self-confident, but you can help her feel more comfortable in the moment. Tell her the specific things you love about her body. Compliment her during the most vulnerable moments, like when you’re taking off her clothes or moving down between her legs. Let her know that the way she tastes and smells turns you on.
Social stigma seems to focus on the taste of women’s genitals more than men’s. In fact, men can smell and taste just as strong as women. If you're new to fellatio, you might be worried about taste and smell. If so, suggest a sexy bath or shower together and start with a clean slate. While the artificial tastes may be no better (and can be much worse) some people like to use flavored lubricant or put on a flavored condom, which may not taste better but comes with the added benefit of making oral sex a bit safer.

As with other types of sexual activity, oral sex carries the risk of STIs. It may be possible to get some STIs in the mouth or throat from giving oral sex to a partner with a genital or anal/rectal infection, particularly from giving fellatio. It also may be possible to get certain STIs on the penis, and possibly the vagina, anus or rectum, from receiving oral sex from a partner with a mouth or throat infection. It’s possible to have an STI in more than one area, for example in the throat and the genitals.
Now don't get me wrong I love giving head I always have but it's very discouraging when you can't make your own husband cum! He is in the military and left for training for a couple weeks and I wanted to do something nice for him when he got home so I bought your book. My attitude has been shit for the past couple years because I've been so frustrated and I really worked on that and I think I did a pretty damn good job! When he came home I tried out your advice and not only did he cum he said it was the best head he's ever gotten and he said his orgasm was deeper and more intense than its ever been! I also had a lot of fun and enjoyed making him feel so good. So just wanted to say thanks, it really helped! 

When was the last time you had sex with just your hands? What are your first thoughts when this question is posed? Many women haven't brought a man fully to climax with just their hands since high school or college. Some think it "doesn't count as sex." Others are simply at a loss, claiming they don't know how. Or, you might think a man can do that all on his own, so why would you bother?
Option 1 is that you leave and do nothing to improve your sex life. You may think blowjobs are not that important for a relationship's success... and that's OK, but pray a Blowjob Queen never puts her lips around your man's penis. Or your relationship may fall apart like a house of cards in a thunderstorm. I'm a guy and I know how men think – we are sexual, hedonistic creatures and we will always choose better sex if we have the option. Why risk it or worry about it when you can have a carefree, loving relationship?
The other factor that makes a big difference to the potential risk of HIV transmission from oral sex is the viral load of the person living with HIV. Viral load is the term used to describe the amount of HIV in a sample of body fluid. People living with HIV have the viral load in their blood measured regularly, as part of routine health monitoring.
While male nipples are basically the same as human nipples, they might even be more sensitive than yours since guys aren’t used to having them touched so often. "For a lot of men, their nipples are uncharted territory — an erogenous zone they haven't experimented with," explains Patti Britton, PhD, a Los Angeles-based clinical sexologist and author of the The Complete Idiot's Guide to Sensual Massage. Touch them, however, and you'll send shock waves of pleasure radiating through him, she adds.
×