“I talk about this with patients almost every day in my practice,” says Mary Rosser, MD, assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Columbia University Medical College. “Of course, I’m usually the one who’s bringing it up. Not many women want to or think to ask about it.” That may be because oral sex still has kind of a risque reputation to it, even though it's a pretty standard part of a typical couple's sexual repertoire.
Assume an all-fours crawling position and let him enter you from behind, either standing or kneeling on the bed behind you. "But instead of staying on your hands and knees, tilt your shoulders downward with your forearms flat on the bed in front of you," says Paget. The natural curve in your back from this variation will expand or contract your vaginal wall so you can monitor how deep he goes. If you arch your back into a small hump, it will shorten your vagina and shift the stimulation down a notch; bend it the other way and you'll get deeper, more intense thrusting action. Plus, he'll get strong stimulation to the head of his penis, the most sensitive part. If you don't like him to go deep, have him use a circular motion so his pelvic bones don't push into your tush. Should your arms begin to ache from the exertion, meld with the mattress by lying flat on your stomach but arching your buttocks upward by placing a pillow under your pelvis. He'll be perfectly positioned to hit your G-spot, which is on the anterior (tummy side) vaginal wall.
Gear up, girls, because we've got the sex-expert scoop on how to erotically update five already stellar positions so that they provide even more bliss to your bods. Many of our passion poses might sound familiar at first, but we've put a special orgasmic spin on them all that'll supersize your pleasure peaks and have you and your guy grinning like satisfied frisky fools.
On the following pages, we identify the nooky positions that will increase your likelihood of having the best climax of your life. Some focus chiefly on your clitoris, others are great for G-spot gratification and still others are extraordinary for emotional intimacy — a climax clincher for many women. But with all of them, the secrets are in the subtleties. "I don't care if you're baking a cake, racing a car or making love," says Lou Paget, best-selling author of The Big O. "It's your attention to detail that takes it from so-so to over-the-top sensational." Hands down (and pants too), you'll find that these body bounces will push your buttons like never, ever before.
Each new partner does not come with an instruction manual, and you can’t always count on your partner to tell you exactly what she wants in the moment. If you’re looking for a hint or two to help you figure out what is working and what isn’t, you’ll have to rely on the next best thing: Her nonverbal cues. “Even if your partner is not a big moaner, her body will tell you everything you need to know," says Morse. Some signs to look for include quicker breathing, her body becoming flushed, a more engorged clitoris, more vaginal lubrication, and her thrusting her pelvis closer to you. "If all else fails, you can always ask her if she likes something or not — just be sure to phrase it in a sexy way so it sounds more like dirty talk than a request for feedback,” says Morse.
Sexually active individuals should get tested regularly for STIs and HIV, and talk to all partner(s) about STIs. Anyone who thinks that he/she might have an STI should stop having sex and visit a doctor or clinic to get tested. There are free and low-cost options for testing available. It is important to talk openly with a health care provider about any activities that might put a person at risk for an STI, including oral sex.
Best Oral Sex Teaching
Once you’ve located the clitoris, you don’t want to immediately rush in. “Tease her with your mouth and hands to build anticipation and arousal. Kiss her softly around the clitoris, gently nibble on her inner thighs and take your time slowly pulling off her underwear,” says Morse. You can also heighten arousal by touching and kissing her through the fabric. Once you're dealing with bare skin, you can start with slow tongue motions. Moving slowly, lick up and down, with gentle strokes and a flat tongue.
If you have a comfortable recliner or reading chair, try putting a pillow on the floor in front of you, scooting to the edge of the chair and inviting your partner to kneel in front of you. This can also work on the edge of a bed. Inviting your lover to kneel in front of you and perform oral sex is a delicious way to allow them to worship your lovely body.
Using your hands first, gently caress his inner thighs, penis, scrotum, testicles, and perineum, paying attention to his reactions (verbal and facial) as you touch certain spots. Many men who have sensitivity in their penis are particularly sensitive around the head (known as the glans), especially the frenulum, an indentation between the glans and the shaft on the underside of the penis. You might want to brush up on your knowledge of male sexual anatomy, to know what you’re working with.
"Talk to them! Ask them if they like what you're doing, ask them what they want. Have an open conversation and keep that conversation going throughout the sexual experience. But most importantly, don't do anything you aren't comfortable with. You should always feel comfortable enough with anyone you're having any type of sex with to talk openly about your personal limits."
Fellatio can be sexually arousing for both participants, and may lead to orgasm for the receiving partner. It may be performed by a sexual partner as foreplay before other sexual activities (such as vaginal or anal intercourse), or as an erotic and physically intimate act in its own right. Like most forms of sexual activity, oral sex creates a risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections (STIs/STDs). However, the transmission risk for oral sex, especially HIV transmission, is significantly lower than for vaginal or anal sex.
Some men can have problems reaching orgasm. These most often stem from psychological factors; for example, they are still affected by a traumatic event or a restrictive upbringing, or they have fallen into masturbation patterns that could have conditioned the body to take longer to orgasm. However, the problem also can be caused by certain medications or by a neurological or cardiovascular disease, or by having surgery where nerves are cut, says Beverly Whipple, PhD, RN, professor emerita at Rutgers University in Newark New Jersey, and past president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT).
At this stage, he’ll have understood what is going to happen to him. He’ll be very pleased and this is a good start. Take off his pants, everything will be easy to access. Softly grab his penis in your hands and use your tongue to slowly lick it from the base to the top. Look at him in the eyes, make him beg for you to really take him in your mouth.
The thing is, I'm not your boyfriend and I don't have a reason to lie to you that your blowjobs are great when, in fact, you probably have no idea what you're doing. Even if you're "good" – that just doesn't cut it. You have no idea how mind-blowing your blowjobs can actually be. If don't ruin blowjobs for any other woman that ever puts her lips around him, then you're not doing a good job and you're not protecting your relationship.