10. A penis isn't a vagina or a Slip'N Slide and doesn't just get wet on its own. I mean there's pre-cum, but that's like a light rain shower when a proper BJ usually requires a torrential downpour. Either get some lube that doesn't taste like a takeout bag, or drink some water and be prepared to use all the spit you can muster. It's not gross. This is someone you make out with (probably).
To Control – Using sex as a weapon and method for controlling your man is a recipe for disaster. If you start withholding sex to try to get your husband to do something, then both of you are going to develop a negative attitude towards all things sex very quickly. Equally, promising to give him a blow job only if he does this or that is going to foster an unhealthy situation for your sex life.
Option 1 is that you leave and do nothing to improve your sex life. You may think blowjobs are not that important for a relationship's success... and that's OK, but pray a Blowjob Queen never puts her lips around your man's penis. Or your relationship may fall apart like a house of cards in a thunderstorm. I'm a guy and I know how men think – we are sexual, hedonistic creatures and we will always choose better sex if we have the option. Why risk it or worry about it when you can have a carefree, loving relationship?
Oral sex is a highly intimate sex act. Many people find oral sex to be way more intimate than intercourse. Perhaps this is because oral sex triggers a lot of feelings of vulnerability, and it's emotionally intense to let someone so close to your most sensitive parts. Yet, oral sex remains as one of the most pleasurable and orgasmic sex acts there is, so learning how to enjoy it fully—either giving or receiving—is an essential step in loving your sex life and making sure it’s as wonderful as it can be.
There are several ways to reduce the risk of HIV transmission from oral sex. Naturally, some will be more acceptable than others to different individuals, so you must make your own decisions about the level of risk you find acceptable. If you would like to discuss these issues, ask to see a health adviser, or other health professional, at your HIV treatment centre or sexual health clinic. Many of the strategies below will also provide protection against other sexually transmitted infections:
A: Thanks for your question! I love talking about the nitty-gritty, but I welcome the opportunity to talk about larger topics, too. I’m all about creating a more sex-positive world, and it’s important to talk about how we can all contribute to that. Of course, I have to give the caveat that not all men approach sex the same way. That being said, there are some broad patterns I have noticed in my work with men and straight couples.