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"I had a glass of ice put off to the side; my boyfriend at the time didn't think anything of it. As I was about to give him head (without him noticing), I popped a small ice cube into my mouth. He didn't expect it whatsoever, which was my favorite part. He loved it, and throughout our relationship, I did that every now and then to spice up the foreplay."
Try this: Have him lay on his back while you straddle him and give him what he really wants: a view of your scalp as you make your way down on him. Starting from his belly button, use your fingers and nails to trace a line down from his happy trail stopping before you hit total groin. Then retrace your steps, but use your tongue to trace a “V” shape from his hips to right above his penis. Draw it out and really tease him until he can’t take it any longer.
All of this pressure women feel around our bodies affects our enjoyment of sex. It’s hard to be in the moment when you’re worried about your stomach looking flabby or ashamed of the way your genitals taste. There’s no way to understand what it’s like to be a woman if you aren’t one, but I bring up this issue because being sensitive about this can help men be better partners to women. Men aren’t responsible for making women feel more self-confident, but you can help her feel more comfortable in the moment. Tell her the specific things you love about her body. Compliment her during the most vulnerable moments, like when you’re taking off her clothes or moving down between her legs. Let her know that the way she tastes and smells turns you on.

As with other types of sexual activity, oral sex carries the risk of STIs. It may be possible to get some STIs in the mouth or throat from giving oral sex to a partner with a genital or anal/rectal infection, particularly from giving fellatio. It also may be possible to get certain STIs on the penis, and possibly the vagina, anus or rectum, from receiving oral sex from a partner with a mouth or throat infection. It’s possible to have an STI in more than one area, for example in the throat and the genitals.
Don’t be fooled by the term “oral sex” — your mouth doesn’t have to carry the full burden of her pleasure. “Your tongue is great, don’t get me wrong, but you’ve got two other tools at your disposal that can really help to bring her home: Your hands. You can easily bring your fingers into play while you give your mouth a break," says Morse. "And it doesn’t stop there: A lot of women really enjoy a bit of manual stimulation during cunnilingus,” says Morse. Doing so can even help her orgasm faster.
It’s one of the most intimate and private acts a couple can enjoy—which may be why there’s so much mystery and misinformation surrounding oral sex. And while indulging in this once-taboo sexual activity (it used to be a punishable offense in some states, amazingly) can be a healthy part of any romantic relationship, there are definitely some things to keep in mind.
Doctors used to think that human papillomavirus (HPV), the most common sexually transmitted infection in the United States, couldn’t affect the mouth. But recent research has them rethinking this notion. Scientists have now shown that the same high-risk strains of HPV that lead to cervical cancer can also be transmitted by oral sex and potentially cause head, neck, and throat cancer, as well.
It may be surprising to hear, but men love foreplay to be drawn out significantly longer more than most women think[3]. So, while giving him a quickie BJ can be super hot for both of you (like say sneaking away for a few minutes at a party), you’ll find that a slow, teasing build up is going to result in your man blowing a bigger load[4]…and a bigger smile on his face. This is probably the most powerful, but also the most overlooked blow job tip you can learn. With this in mind, here are a bunch of great “fellatio foreplay” tips that you can use before giving your man head:
Women should pay attention to how their vagina feels during and after oral sex, says Dr. Rosser, and make sure that it’s not being irritated by scratchy facial hair or a too-enthusiastic tongue, for example. Oral sex can also alter a woman’s natural pH, at least temporarily, but her body will usually self-regulate and bring things back to normal fairly quickly, before an infection can set in.
Have him enter you while you are lying on your back with your legs apart. Once he's inside, bring your legs close together and have him hook his ankles around your calves and raise himself up slightly on his hands with a small arch in his back. "He'll look a bit like a frog," says Paget, "but he'll feel more like a prince." By closing your legs, you will create a more snug entry for him and more sustained clitoral stimulation for you — his groin will be doing a rumba on your hot spot. "Also, because it's a short stroke and the angle of his penis in this position will be arching up, he can control his movements better (it's the natural direction of his thrusting) and really reach the front vaginal wall." If too much depth in missionary position causes you discomfort, have him use shallow strokes so he doesn't come in contact with your cervix. As for your movements, Paget suggests that you tighten your lower muscles (your hips, glutes and thighs) to create rhythmic clenching in your pelvic area for heightened sensation.
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It’s one of the most intimate and private acts a couple can enjoy—which may be why there’s so much mystery and misinformation surrounding oral sex. And while indulging in this once-taboo sexual activity (it used to be a punishable offense in some states, amazingly) can be a healthy part of any romantic relationship, there are definitely some things to keep in mind.
It may be surprising to hear, but men love foreplay to be drawn out significantly longer more than most women think[3]. So, while giving him a quickie BJ can be super hot for both of you (like say sneaking away for a few minutes at a party), you’ll find that a slow, teasing build up is going to result in your man blowing a bigger load[4]…and a bigger smile on his face. This is probably the most powerful, but also the most overlooked blow job tip you can learn. With this in mind, here are a bunch of great “fellatio foreplay” tips that you can use before giving your man head:

This trick was mentioned in the movie Girls Trip, and demos can even be found on YouTube. But a urologist previously told Health that it’s definitely not a good idea. "The urethra isn't designed to handle grapefruit juice," Michael Eisenberg, MD, a urologist at Stanford University Medical Center in California, said in 2017. In fact, the acidity can lead to side effects like burning during urination.
There’s lots of ways to make always-great sex even greater, and there are some specific sex positions that, when explored, can lead to extra excitement. There are various ways to look at what a specifically male pleasure position may mean to you — for starters, though, it should be one that gives greater than average physical pleasure or one that’s especially exciting. From there, the possibilities are endless, but here are some great ways to get started! 

All of this pressure women feel around our bodies affects our enjoyment of sex. It’s hard to be in the moment when you’re worried about your stomach looking flabby or ashamed of the way your genitals taste. There’s no way to understand what it’s like to be a woman if you aren’t one, but I bring up this issue because being sensitive about this can help men be better partners to women. Men aren’t responsible for making women feel more self-confident, but you can help her feel more comfortable in the moment. Tell her the specific things you love about her body. Compliment her during the most vulnerable moments, like when you’re taking off her clothes or moving down between her legs. Let her know that the way she tastes and smells turns you on.
When I first read your book I had never given a bj and I was extremely nervous and I had no idea what to do. Your advice helped me soooooo much I was so confident. My boyfriend actually asked if I was lying to him when I told him he was the first. None of the other stuff about this I found were as encouraging as yours and I couldn't belive how excited I was to give head. Now I do it all the time for my boyfriend and he adores me for it! One time I even did it while he was driving he loved it! Anyway I just wanted to thank you. Honestly your advice was so much help I you helped strengthen my relationship! Any girl who gives head, whether they are a beginer or a pro, they should check your book out. Thanks again!
In terms of mastering the oral sex process, speed isn't the name of the game. “Trust me when I say that things will move a whole lot faster if you slow everything down,” says Morse. Take the time to get familiar with the female anatomy, which you can do using your eyes and your hands. “The clitoris, which is located above the vaginal opening, contains about 8,000 pleasure-packed nerve endings." Make it the area where you focus most of your attention.
The key to making oral sex safe is to avoid mouth-to-genital contact and the transmission of any bodily fluids. Condoms, including flavored varieties, can be used to perform oral sex on men. For going down on women, thin sheets of latex called dental dams can be purchased online or in sex-toy stores. There's also the female condom, but like dental dams, these aren't as easy to come by as the male version.
It sounds intimidating, but the payoff is worth it. "Glance up at him just as you're about to take his penis as far into your mouth as you can, then maintain eye contact for a few strokes or the entire time," says Kait Scalisi, sex educator and founder of PassionbyKait.com. “This move is super intimate, as extended eye contact causes a release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, in both of you.”
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