Resolution and refraction After ejaculation, the penis begins to lose its erection. About half of the erection is lost immediately, and the rest fades soon after. Muscle tension fades, and the man may feel relaxed or drowsy, according to Ingber. Men usually must undergo a refractory period, or recovery phase, during which they cannot achieve another erection. This period is variable in men, says Ingber. In an 18-year-old, this is typically less than 15 minutes. In elderly men, it can be up to 10 to 20 hours. The average refractory period is about half an hour. Men differ from women in that men usually are satiated after one orgasm. Women can experience more than one orgasm with no loss of sexual arousal, and do not have to undergo a refractory period.
To Control – Using sex as a weapon and method for controlling your man is a recipe for disaster. If you start withholding sex to try to get your husband to do something, then both of you are going to develop a negative attitude towards all things sex very quickly. Equally, promising to give him a blow job only if he does this or that is going to foster an unhealthy situation for your sex life.
Drive him wild: "Gently flicking the raphe with your tongue feels great to most men," Cavanah says. "Let him guide you on how much pressure he likes, because the amount varies depending on the guy." To get him really hot, sip on very warm tea and then flick your heated tongue over this sensitive area. He'll lose himself in the new feelings, and novelty can make for more powerful orgasms.  
Q: This is a rather general question, but I was wondering if you could write about how men can be good sexual partners for women. I have had several relationships end because the guy didn’t seem like he could be a partner in creating a healthy sex life. I know I’m not going to be sexually compatible with every guy I meet, but it seems like so many guys out there are selfish or disrespectful when it comes to sex.
How to find it: "Men have a relatively higher concentration of nerve endings in the soles of their feet than women do," says Mark Michaels, coauthor of Partners in Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy, and Long-Term Love. "There is an acupressure point about one-third of the way down from the third toe, right in front of the arch in the center of the foot." Nicknamed the "bubbling spring," pressing on this point may boost blood flow throughout the body, getting him all hot and bothered.
Fellatio is legal in most countries. Laws of some jurisdictions regard fellatio as penetrative sex for the purposes of sexual offenses with regard to the act, but most countries do not have laws which ban the practice, in contrast to anal sex or extramarital sex. In Islamic literature, the only forms of sexual activity that are consistently explicitly prohibited within marriage are anal sex and sexual activity during menstrual cycles.[39] However, the exact attitude towards oral sex is a subject of disagreements between modern scholars of Islam. Authorities considering it "objectionable" do so because of the penis's supposedly impure fluids coming in contact with the mouth.[40] Others emphasize that there is no decisive evidence to forbid oral sex.[41]
How to find it: The sacrum is the triangular bone located at the base of his spine in between his hips (think: the small of his back). There are nerves in the sacrum that are linked to the genitals, so stimulating these nerves can send sensations to his manly parts. In fact, some studies show that electrical stimulation of these nerves can trigger orgasm.
Chlamydia, human papillomavirus (HPV), gonorrhea, herpes, hepatitis (multiple strains), and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs/STDs), can be transmitted through oral sex.[9][10][20] Any sexual exchange of bodily fluids with a person infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, poses a risk of infection. Risk of STI infection, however, is generally considered significantly lower for oral sex than for vaginal or anal sex, with HIV transmission considered the lowest risk with regard to oral sex.[10][11][21][22] 

"When I'm giving oral, I have as much fun with it as I can. This is a powerful position to be in, and I look at it as a privilege to induce such pleasure. If I'm receiving, I focus very much on enjoying myself and being present in the moment and letting go of my perfectionistic lifestyle. While giving is a power trip, receiving is vulnerable and requires trust."

While you’ll discover a rhythm that works best with each partner, there are some great routes to take your experimentation while finding the geography of touch that works for you. “While licking, sucking, and massaging your partner’s clitoris with your tongue, try inserting one or two fingers into her vagina," says Morse. "With your palm facing up, employ a come hither motion with your digits in order to stimulate her G-spot (which is usually located on the upper wall of her vagina, about 2 inches in)." While you're doing this, sync it up with the motions of your tongue to help heighten her pleasure (and give her a stronger orgasm). You can also bring a small, easy-to-handle clitoral vibrator into the mix, like the We-Vibe Touch.
For oral sex on a man, use a condom during oral sex. For oral sex on a woman, or when performing anilingus on a man or a woman, use a dam. A dam is a small thin latex or plastic square that acts as a barrier between the vagina or anus and the mouth. It may prevent the spread of STIs. You can buy dams at some sexual health clinics, online or at your pharmacy. 
^ Ken Plummer (2002). Modern Homosexualities: Fragments of Lesbian and Gay Experiences. Routledge. pp. 187–191. ISBN 1134922426. Retrieved August 24, 2013. The social construction of 'sex' as vaginal intercourse affects how other forms of sexual activity are evaluated as sexually satisfying or arousing; in some cases whether an activity is seen as a sexual act at all. For example, unless a woman has been penetrated by a man's penis she is still technically a virgin even if she has had lots of sexual experience.
On the following pages, we identify the nooky positions that will increase your likelihood of having the best climax of your life. Some focus chiefly on your clitoris, others are great for G-spot gratification and still others are extraordinary for emotional intimacy — a climax clincher for many women. But with all of them, the secrets are in the subtleties. "I don't care if you're baking a cake, racing a car or making love," says Lou Paget, best-selling author of The Big O. "It's your attention to detail that takes it from so-so to over-the-top sensational." Hands down (and pants too), you'll find that these body bounces will push your buttons like never, ever before.
We want depth of penetration but we also want the pleasure of anticipation. That’s where teasing comes in. “In this position, the woman gets to pleasure and tease the man while at the same time, he can thrust as hard or soft as he wants from below by simply pulling her down close to his chest. Both get extreme pleasure and some control,” says Briana Banks, the longest contracted Vivid star, and behind only Jenna Jameson, the most published adult magazine model ever. 

Getting HIV from oral sex may be less likely than vaginal or anal sex, but it still carries risk. If you are having oral sex you should still protect yourself. Repeated unprotected oral sex exposure to HIV may represent a considerable risk for spread of HIV, as well as other STDs for which the risk of spread through oral sex has not been as well studied.
Treatment: There is no cure for HPV infection, but 90% of persons clear the infection within 2 years. Genital warts can be removed through different methods, including freezing. Appropriate follow-up and treatment for genital and rectal HPV infections (detected by abnormal Pap smear and/or HPV test results) is essential for cancer prevention and detection.
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Oral sex has been observed in the animal kingdom among many species.[46][47] It has been suggested that there is an evolutionary advantage due to the tendency of primates, non-primates and humans to have oral sex.[48] Oral sex, at least fellatio, also exists among the fruit bat, Cynopterus sphinx; it has been observed when the bats are mating. These bat pairs spend more time copulating if the female licks the male than if she does not.[45][49]
"The key is to breathe in through your mouth and out through your nose. If you can learn circular breathing (something musicians who play instruments that require breath know), you can go down on a girl for hours without having to come up for air. It's actually reverse circular breathing. To make sure your tongue doesn't cramp up, keep your jaw comfortably open and loose. I've found that upward strokes under the clitoral hood where the clitoris is are one of the best motions." 

Facesitting is a form of oral sex in which the receiver sits on the giver's face and pushes into it with his or her genitals. Oral sex can also be performed by both partners at the same time in the so-called "sixty-nine" position. Spitting and/or swallowing of the ejaculatory fluids or giving a pearl necklace may cause different sexual stimulations. Autofellatio is a possible but rare variant; autocunnilingus may also be possible for women with extremely flexible spines.

Drive him wild: Have your man lie on his stomach and give him a massage by doing light, karate-chop type movements along his sacrum. "Doing this not only stimulates those sacral nerves, but also triggers the parasympathetic nervous system which is key for relaxing, letting go, and having an orgasm," Michaels says. (Related: 7 Tips for a Better Orgasm)


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Books are an easy way to jump-start your own sex ed. The Big Bang by Nerve is a great entry-level primer to all things sex. She Comes First by Ian Kerner is an incredible book about refining your oral sex technique. Check out some books about sex positions or female orgasm. These are all fun topics to brush up on, so this shouldn’t ever feel like a chore!

It doesn’t matter how memorable your oral skills may be — if your partner is distracted or stuck in her head, she is not going to be able to enjoy herself. “Oral sex offers an interesting paradox; many women love it yet it can find it so challenging to relax into the moment. This is why so many women tense up when their partner goes down," says Dr. Emily Morse, host of the Sex With Emily podcast and author of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight. "The best thing you can say to a woman is, ‘Relax, I’ve got all night.' " Since women can worry about whether you want to be down there and may be self-conscious about how long it takes them to get off, a quick reassurance will go a long way.
Fellatio is sometimes practiced when penile penetration would create a physical difficulty for a sex partner. For example, it may be practiced during pregnancy instead of vaginal intercourse by couples wishing to engage in intimate sexual activity while avoiding the difficulty of vaginal intercourse during later stages of pregnancy.[18] There may be other reasons why a woman may not wish to have vaginal intercourse, such as apprehension of losing her virginity, of becoming pregnant,[12][14] or she may be menstruating.

When I first read your book I had never given a bj and I was extremely nervous and I had no idea what to do. Your advice helped me soooooo much I was so confident. My boyfriend actually asked if I was lying to him when I told him he was the first. None of the other stuff about this I found were as encouraging as yours and I couldn't belive how excited I was to give head. Now I do it all the time for my boyfriend and he adores me for it! One time I even did it while he was driving he loved it! Anyway I just wanted to thank you. Honestly your advice was so much help I you helped strengthen my relationship! Any girl who gives head, whether they are a beginer or a pro, they should check your book out. Thanks again!
Other slang terms for oral sex include going down on (male or female), licking out and muff diving (female), blow job (male), dome (male or female), sucking off (male), playing the skin flute (male recipient), rolling cigars (male recipient), lolly-gagging (gay male-on-male), gaining knowledge (male recipient) and bust down (male). Forced fellatio is often called Egyptian rape or simply Egyptian; this goes back to the time of the Crusades when Mamluks were alleged to force their Christian captives to do this.[44]
Using your hands first, gently caress his inner thighs, penis, scrotum, testicles, and perineum, paying attention to his reactions (verbal and facial) as you touch certain spots. Many men who have sensitivity in their penis are particularly sensitive around the head (known as the glans), especially the frenulum, an indentation between the glans and the shaft on the underside of the penis. You might want to brush up on your knowledge of male sexual anatomy, to know what you’re working with.

An intensely pleasurable blow job tip that you can use on him is to use the tip of your tongue to apply a gentle flicking motion to it. While you are naturally going to stimulate his frenulum while sucking him (learn tips on sucking here and here) or just licking his penis (learn some oral sex licking techniques here), this technique is different as you will be focusing all your stimulation on a very specific point on his penis.
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"With this sex pose, a woman is really able to watch her man in action and one hundred percent surrender to the sensations," says Paget. The power of this position is that he gets to take complete control and show off like a stud while you lie back, relax and let yourself have some very intense G-spot pressure, says Paget, because your lower body is lifted up at a perfect angle for his penis to give you maximum penetration. Plus, it will double your pleasure: Besides putting your bod in a prime position for your guy to hit your most sizzling spot, you'll also be more open than ever to manually (and directly) stimulate yourself. This will heat up your hottest genital nerve systems (those around the clitoris and the G-spot) and hold them in harmony, so much so that you can have what Paget calls a blended orgasm.

We believe that every individual no matter which part of the world and any gender should be treated equally in society and has the same right to express its individual thoughts believes, etc. For that reason, we founded www.womennow.in to create a platform on which members of the womennow-community can express and share their daily concerns and believes smog each other.
If you have a comfortable recliner or reading chair, try putting a pillow on the floor in front of you, scooting to the edge of the chair and inviting your partner to kneel in front of you. This can also work on the edge of a bed. Inviting your lover to kneel in front of you and perform oral sex is a delicious way to allow them to worship your lovely body.
My fiance has never gotten off from just a blow job alone. He always has to help me out while I’m performing fellatio, and he normally needs sex to be somewhat fast and hard to finish. I’ve been told in previous relationships that I’m very good at what I do, but I want to do something for him that he’s never had. Any tips would be greatly appreciated. I utilize all of the aforementioned tips you’ve posted. Thanks!
Try this: Britton suggests having him lie on his back and slowly licking from his areola inwards, like an ice cream cone, but never touching tongue to nip. Get closer and closer until you flick his nipple with your tongue and then gently bite it. Britton says, “Men love when you slowly build up the pressure like that, so don’t be afraid to nip him harder than you would like to be,” If you wanna be really extra, you can suck on an ice cube beforehand for more sensation.
Oral sex is a highly intimate sex act. Many people find oral sex to be way more intimate than intercourse. Perhaps this is because oral sex triggers a lot of feelings of vulnerability, and it's emotionally intense to let someone so close to your most sensitive parts. Yet, oral sex remains as one of the most pleasurable and orgasmic sex acts there is, so learning how to enjoy it fully—either giving or receiving—is an essential step in loving your sex life and making sure it’s as wonderful as it can be.
Don’t be fooled by the term “oral sex” — your mouth doesn’t have to carry the full burden of her pleasure. “Your tongue is great, don’t get me wrong, but you’ve got two other tools at your disposal that can really help to bring her home: Your hands. You can easily bring your fingers into play while you give your mouth a break," says Morse. "And it doesn’t stop there: A lot of women really enjoy a bit of manual stimulation during cunnilingus,” says Morse. Doing so can even help her orgasm faster.

His Shaft: No, I’m not talking that empty space you can look out to from your bathroom window but rather his genitals. For something extra special, form two rings with your thumb and index fingers placing one at the end and one on the head and move them in opposite directions meeting in the middle. Start slow, go faster and slow down again, and close your eyes… a pinky eye is not becoming on anyone!
Your hands are sensitive, dexterous, and capable of giving your man intense pleasure and powerful climaxes. With a little skill and confidence, you can fully satisfy your man and leave him feeling saturated with pleasure. Let's face it, sometimes the idea of intercourse or oral sex is too much. But you may be turned on enough to kiss, cuddle, and give your man a fabulous orgasm with your hands!
In all positions, their pleasure threshold is partially dependent on, simply, what we may be most into. For this one, his ass is accessible to her for full anal and/or prostate play. He gets to enjoy a whole new angle of penetration while also having access to her feet if he's into a little foot/shrimping play. “She lies flat on her back. He mounts her in the reverse and lies flat on top of her with his head at her feet. He inserts his erect penis into her vagina by scooting back towards her,” says Dr. Kat.  

Oral Herpes: You can transmit oral herpes to your partner's genital. In fact, HSV-1 (the type that causes cold sores) may be even more contagious than HSV-2 (the type associated with genital herpes). In general, performing oral sex on a woman is safer than performing oral sex on a man. However, herpes transmission in both directions is a real risk.
23. 69ing is terrible and overrated and bad, and let's just ban it already. OK, maybe you like it but IMO, it is terrible and dumb. The whole point of oral sex is that you can just lie there and do nothing while someone else gives you extreme pleasure. 69ing is like if, while getting a professional massage, you had to also file your taxes at the same time. Doesn't that sound like a nightmare to you? Because it is. It would be a nightmare.
9. It isn't a fancy massage at a spa and therefore doesn't have to be all about him. You ever heard of something called "sensate focus?" It's a sex therapy technique in which you focus on touch and the physical pleasure it brings you, and you can totally use it to ease blow job-anxiety or just ~mix it up~ a little. Basically. instead of doing what you think you're supposed to do to make him feel great, employ blow job techniques that feel fun 'n exciting to you. Oral sex doesn't have to be as one-sided as its reputation says it should be.

Symptoms: Often there are no symptoms. In the first or primary stage of infection, may have a single sore or multiple sores on mouth, throat, genitals, or anus. In the second stage, may have a skin rash (often on the palms of the hands and the soles of the feet, but also on other body parts). The symptoms of syphilis will disappear with or without treatment, but without treatment, the infection remains in the body and may cause organ damage.

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