Oral sex is common among sexually active adults. According to a national survey conducted from June 2006 through December 2008, over 80% of sexually active youth and adults ages 15-44 years reported having had oral sex at least once with a partner of the opposite sex. The same survey found that 45% or more of teenage girls and boys (ages 15-19 years) report having had oral sex with a partner of the opposite sex.
We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off-limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto today’s topic: how men can be better sexual partners to women.
While there's no male equivalent for the queening position, men deserve to feel like royalty, too. Receiving oral sex while seated in a comfortable chair, his lover kneeling in front of him, is perhaps the closest men can feel to sitting on a throne. Make it even more special by allowing him to watch a sports game, porn or another video of choice. Or put a special drink in his hand, or light a cigar before going down.

Resolution and refraction After ejaculation, the penis begins to lose its erection. About half of the erection is lost immediately, and the rest fades soon after. Muscle tension fades, and the man may feel relaxed or drowsy, according to Ingber. Men usually must undergo a refractory period, or recovery phase, during which they cannot achieve another erection. This period is variable in men, says Ingber. In an 18-year-old, this is typically less than 15 minutes. In elderly men, it can be up to 10 to 20 hours. The average refractory period is about half an hour. Men differ from women in that men usually are satiated after one orgasm. Women can experience more than one orgasm with no loss of sexual arousal, and do not have to undergo a refractory period.
Observations: 1. The world would be a lot happier if this is what they taught in sex ed 2. My ex's had no idea what they were doing 3. How does one show this video to their GF without suggesting they suck at BJs? (pun intended) 4. How does one show this video to their GF without admitting they've been jerking it to LittleCaprice working her magic on PornHub? (asking for a friend )

As many guys get close to orgasm, they typically just want you to keep doing that one thing you're doing without stopping 'til they get there. A little boring, but whatever. However, at the beginning to build up anticipation you can try shaking up your routine. Think alternating longer ice-cream style licks with more traditional full-mouth-over-the-peen sucking.
On the other hand, you don’t want to get so invested in making her feel good that you wind up pressuring her to orgasm. It’s great to want to make her orgasm, but don’t make her feel like she needs to orgasm. Many women are sensitive to feeling pressured in the bedroom, but orgasm is impossible when it feels like an expectation. Her pleasure should be important to you simply because you want her to feel good, not because you want to boost your ego.
My Special Advanced Edition is NOT for beginners. This is what takes your already good blowjob skills to the next level – it's like having a PhD in Blowjobology. Even the most skilled porn stars and professionals have a thing or two to learn here. I was a bit reluctant to release this to the public as it can give women an unfair advantage over other women (and have her steal a man under another woman's nose) – please use these skills in an ethical manner.
For oral sex on a man, use a condom during oral sex. For oral sex on a woman, or when performing anilingus on a man or a woman, use a dam. A dam is a small thin latex or plastic square that acts as a barrier between the vagina or anus and the mouth. It may prevent the spread of STIs. You can buy dams at some sexual health clinics, online or at your pharmacy. 
Probably the worst thing you can do, pre-blow job, is underestimate your own abilities. Be confident! You're better at this than you think you are, and most guys are grateful that you ventured south at all. If you're truly nervous, tell your partner about it. And if that's off the table, talk about with some female friends. They've definitely been nervous, too. Talking it out can help, big time.
As many guys get close to orgasm, they typically just want you to keep doing that one thing you're doing without stopping 'til they get there. A little boring, but whatever. However, at the beginning to build up anticipation you can try shaking up your routine. Think alternating longer ice-cream style licks with more traditional full-mouth-over-the-peen sucking.
Try this: Have him lay on his back while you straddle him and give him what he really wants: a view of your scalp as you make your way down on him. Starting from his belly button, use your fingers and nails to trace a line down from his happy trail stopping before you hit total groin. Then retrace your steps, but use your tongue to trace a “V” shape from his hips to right above his penis. Draw it out and really tease him until he can’t take it any longer.
Perhaps the most important aspect of Schlissel's sleuthing is that excerpts from West's obscenity trial and disturbingly the censor's accusations sound as troubling today as they did 80 years ago. The arguments used 80 years ago to ban Mae West's bon mots are not unlike those used today to bar gay and lesbian artists from public funding and public self-expression.
Dirty Texts & Sexting – While your man is at work or is just out of the house, try sending him some dirty texts, letting him know about what’s on your mind and what you are planning for later. It can be something filthy like, “I can wait to feel you explode in my mouth tonight.” Or it can be something a little more reserved like, “Can’t wait to see you later…and my lips can’t wait either ;)” Or you can describe in detail the blow job tip you’ve just learned and are going to perform on him.

People give various reasons for their dislike of oral sex.[1] Some state that since it does not result in reproduction, it is therefore unnatural.[37] Others find it less intimate because it is not a face-to-face practice,[1] or believe that it is a humiliating or unclean practice;[1][38] that it is humiliating or unclean are opinions that are, at least in some cases, connected with the symbolism attached to different parts of the body.[38] Opposite these views, people also believe that oral sex "is one of the most intimate behaviors that a couple can engage in because it requires total trust and vulnerability."[1]

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A 2007 study suggested a correlation between oral sex and throat cancer. It is believed that this is due to the transmission of HPV, a virus that has been implicated in the majority of cervical cancers and which has been detected in throat cancer tissue in numerous studies. The study concludes that people who had one to five oral sex partners in their lifetime had approximately a doubled risk of throat cancer compared with those who never engaged in this activity and those with more than five oral sex partners had a 250 percent increased risk.[26][27][28]
Most countries do not have laws that ban the practice of oral sex, though some cultures may consider it taboo.[3] People may also have negative feelings or sexual inhibitions about giving or receiving oral sex; they may refuse to engage in it of their own volition.[3] Commonly, people do not regard forms of oral sex as affecting the virginity of either partner, though opinions on the matter vary.[12][13][14][15]
It’s one of the most intimate and private acts a couple can enjoy—which may be why there’s so much mystery and misinformation surrounding oral sex. And while indulging in this once-taboo sexual activity (it used to be a punishable offense in some states, amazingly) can be a healthy part of any romantic relationship, there are definitely some things to keep in mind.

Lack Of Variation – An obvious, but often forgotten blow job “don’t” is a lack of variation. Just like performing the same tasks over and over at the office make for a dull, boring workday, this is also the case for your sex life. In fact studies have shown that while both men and women enjoy new sexual experiences, men have a higher preference for new and exciting sexual stimulation[8], so why not give it to him!
His Shaft: No, I’m not talking that empty space you can look out to from your bathroom window but rather his genitals. For something extra special, form two rings with your thumb and index fingers placing one at the end and one on the head and move them in opposite directions meeting in the middle. Start slow, go faster and slow down again, and close your eyes… a pinky eye is not becoming on anyone!
Once you give yourself permission to explore new ways of touching him, begin noticing his reactions. Pay exquisite attention to his responses. How does he respond when you touch ever so lightly around the head of his penis? Do faster or slower strokes peak his interest? Can you tell when he is really into it? What happens to his breathing? Does he make sounds to let you know when it feels good? By paying attention you'll gain valuable information about your lover's patterns of arousal and will be proficient in giving him pleasure. 
"The key is to breathe in through your mouth and out through your nose. If you can learn circular breathing (something musicians who play instruments that require breath know), you can go down on a girl for hours without having to come up for air. It's actually reverse circular breathing. To make sure your tongue doesn't cramp up, keep your jaw comfortably open and loose. I've found that upward strokes under the clitoral hood where the clitoris is are one of the best motions."
The best thing about giving a partner the first blow job is then you can ask for, essentially, an oral sex performance review. All sex—penetrative, oral, etc.—tends to get better with a partner as you get to know each other better and communicate more. As you're comfortable, ask your partner what he likes in a blow job, or how you can craft a BJ perfect for him. And if he's polite, he'll ask the same of you. A true win-win.
Fellatio may reduce the risk of miscarriages by inducing immunological tolerance in the woman by exposure to the proteins in her partner's semen, a process known as paternal tolerance. While any exposure to a partner's semen appears to decrease a woman's chances for the various immunological disorders that can occur during pregnancy, immunological tolerance could be most quickly established through the oral introduction and gastrointestinal absorption of semen.[31][32] Recognizing that some of the studies potentially included the presence of confounding factors, such as the possibility that women who regularly perform fellatio and swallow semen also engage in more frequent intercourse, the researchers also noted that, either way, "the data still overwhelmingly supports the main theory" behind all their studies—that repeated exposure to semen establishes the maternal immunological tolerance necessary for a safe and successful pregnancy.[32][33]
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The sexy views of doggy style and (especially) reverse cowgirl can be great for ass men, who get to view (and touch) the ass as much as they like.  “When physical limitations do not intrude, there’s also a lot to be said for the excitement of lifting his partner up (legs around his waist for stability, and up against a wall for even more stability),” says Queen. 

Try this: Give him a lipstick blowjob — AKA where you brush your closed but relaxed lips against the head of his penis, like you’re applying lipstick. Hold his shaft with your fingers, but not in a fist (avoid holding his penis like a microphone, but do approach it with the same blind confidence of a mediocre stand up act). Keesling suggests varying the sensations by opening your mouth a bit and rubbing his head between them.
Oral sex should be limited to the protected areas. A makeshift dental dam can be made out of a condom[22] or a latex or nitrile glove,[23] but using a real dental dam is seen as preferable; this is because real dental dams cover a larger area, avoid accidents caused by "slipping" outside the covered area, and avoid the risk that makeshift versions may be accidentally damaged or poked with the scissors during the cutting procedure. Plastic wrap may also be used as a barrier during oral sex, but there exists no conclusive scientific research regarding how effective it may or may not be at preventing disease transmission. Certain kinds of plastic wrap are manufactured to be microwaveable and are designed to have pores that open when heated, but there also exists no scientific research on what effect, if any, this has on disease transmission when used during oral sex.[24] Some people complain that the thickness of the plastic dulls sensation.
How to find it: The sacrum is the triangular bone located at the base of his spine in between his hips (think: the small of his back). There are nerves in the sacrum that are linked to the genitals, so stimulating these nerves can send sensations to his manly parts. In fact, some studies show that electrical stimulation of these nerves can trigger orgasm.
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You and your man will quickly realize why The Lusty Leapfrog has such climax potential: Hovering in a sexy squat above your man — rather than sitting or straddling him squarely — gives you the perfect chance to clench him tight. "This is one of the easiest positions in which to flex your PC muscles around the glans of his penis, which can initiate an intense orgasmic response," says Paget. This erotic arrangement also allows for better command of pacing and depth of thrusts (it's easy to vary between deep and shallow), which helps put you in control of your climax, says Kenneth Ray Stubbs, Ph.D., author of The Kama Sutra of Sexual Positions: The Tantric Art of Love. "Squatting will help you feel the entire length of his shaft as you encircle it, and the muscle tension created by holding yourself above him will really add to the intensity of your pleasure."
Chlamydia, human papillomavirus (HPV), gonorrhea, herpes, hepatitis (multiple strains), and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs), can be transmitted through oral sex.[4][5][26] Any sexual exchange of bodily fluids with a person infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, poses a risk of infection. Risk of STI infection, however, is generally considered significantly lower for oral sex than for vaginal or anal sex, with HIV transmission considered the lowest risk with regard to oral sex.[5][6][27][28]
A report issued in September 2005 by the National Center for Health Statistics was the basis of an article in the September 26, 2005 issue of Time magazine. The report comes from the results of a computer-administered survey of over 12,000 Americans between the ages of 15 and 44, and states that over half the teenagers questioned have had oral sex. While some headlines have interpreted this as evidence that oral sex among teenagers is "on the rise", this was the first comprehensive study of its kind to examine the matter.[25] The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) stated in 2009: "Studies indicate that oral sex is commonly practiced by sexually active male-female and same-gender couples of various ages, including adolescents."[13] Research also indicates that "males are more likely than females to have received oral sex, whereas equal proportions of men and women have given oral sex."[1]
Facesitting is a form of oral sex in which the receiver sits on the giver's face and pushes into it with his or her genitals. Oral sex can also be performed by both partners at the same time in the so-called "sixty-nine" position. Spitting and/or swallowing of the ejaculatory fluids or giving a pearl necklace may cause different sexual stimulations. Autofellatio is a possible but rare variant; autocunnilingus may also be possible for women with extremely flexible spines.
If you have a comfortable recliner or reading chair, try putting a pillow on the floor in front of you, scooting to the edge of the chair and inviting your partner to kneel in front of you. This can also work on the edge of a bed. Inviting your lover to kneel in front of you and perform oral sex is a delicious way to allow them to worship your lovely body. 

Each new partner does not come with an instruction manual, and you can’t always count on your partner to tell you exactly what she wants in the moment. If you’re looking for a hint or two to help you figure out what is working and what isn’t, you’ll have to rely on the next best thing: Her nonverbal cues. “Even if your partner is not a big moaner, her body will tell you everything you need to know," says Morse. Some signs to look for include quicker breathing, her body becoming flushed, a more engorged clitoris, more vaginal lubrication, and her thrusting her pelvis closer to you. "If all else fails, you can always ask her if she likes something or not — just be sure to phrase it in a sexy way so it sounds more like dirty talk than a request for feedback,” says Morse.
The Kiss Trail – A red hot blow job tip that allows you to move smoothly from kissing your husband to taking him in your mouth is to work slowly down from his lips to his penis by kissing your way down. So you can move from his lips to his neck to his chest to his stomach until your reach his groin area. Of course, this works way better if he is naked.
Social stigma seems to focus on the taste of women’s genitals more than men’s. In fact, men can smell and taste just as strong as women. If you're new to fellatio, you might be worried about taste and smell. If so, suggest a sexy bath or shower together and start with a clean slate. While the artificial tastes may be no better (and can be much worse) some people like to use flavored lubricant or put on a flavored condom, which may not taste better but comes with the added benefit of making oral sex a bit safer. 

How to find it: "Men have a relatively higher concentration of nerve endings in the soles of their feet than women do," says Mark Michaels, coauthor of Partners in Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy, and Long-Term Love. "There is an acupressure point about one-third of the way down from the third toe, right in front of the arch in the center of the foot." Nicknamed the "bubbling spring," pressing on this point may boost blood flow throughout the body, getting him all hot and bothered.
It doesn’t matter how memorable your oral skills may be — if your partner is distracted or stuck in her head, she is not going to be able to enjoy herself. “Oral sex offers an interesting paradox; many women love it yet it can find it so challenging to relax into the moment. This is why so many women tense up when their partner goes down," says Dr. Emily Morse, host of the Sex With Emily podcast and author of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight. "The best thing you can say to a woman is, ‘Relax, I’ve got all night.' " Since women can worry about whether you want to be down there and may be self-conscious about how long it takes them to get off, a quick reassurance will go a long way.
The dentist’s chair may seem like the last place you should be getting quizzed about your sex life, but some doctors think that should change. In an article published in January 2018 in the Journal of the American Dental Association, a group of physicians argued that dentists are in a unique position to screen for and speak with their patients about HPV-related cancers and the risks of unprotected oral sex.
^ Jump up to: a b c d See here and pages 47-49 for views on what constitutes virginity loss and therefore sexual intercourse or other sexual activity; source discusses how gay and lesbian individuals define virginity loss, and how the majority of researchers and heterosexuals define virginity loss/"technical virginity" by whether or not a person has engaged in penile-vaginal sex. Laura M. Carpenter (2005). Virginity Lost: An Intimate Portrait of First Sexual Experiences. NYU Press. pp. 295 pages. ISBN 0-8147-1652-0. Retrieved October 9, 2011.
Along the same lines of not being bashful, Dr. Jill McDevitt, CalExotics’ Resident Sexologist, says it’s really important to spread the labia during cunnilingus. This way, your partner has the space to approach the clitoris from all angles and sides. “Typically, beginners are really bashful about this, but spread the labia wide, get in the folds, and sensation will improve.” This is also good to keep in mind when you’re receiving cunnilingus. Don’t be afraid to reach down and ~show yourself~ for your partner. 

Health.com is part of the Meredith Health Group. All rights reserved. The material in this site is intended to be of general informational use and is not intended to constitute medical advice, probable diagnosis, or recommended treatments. All products and services featured are selected by our editors. Health.com may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Offers may be subject to change without notice. See the Terms of Servicethis link opens in a new tab and Privacy Policythis link opens in a new tab (Your California Rightsthis link opens in a new tab)for more information. Ad Choicesthis link opens in a new tab | EU Data Subject Requeststhis link opens in a new tab
Each new partner does not come with an instruction manual, and you can’t always count on your partner to tell you exactly what she wants in the moment. If you’re looking for a hint or two to help you figure out what is working and what isn’t, you’ll have to rely on the next best thing: Her nonverbal cues. “Even if your partner is not a big moaner, her body will tell you everything you need to know," says Morse. Some signs to look for include quicker breathing, her body becoming flushed, a more engorged clitoris, more vaginal lubrication, and her thrusting her pelvis closer to you. "If all else fails, you can always ask her if she likes something or not — just be sure to phrase it in a sexy way so it sounds more like dirty talk than a request for feedback,” says Morse.

How to find it: The sacrum is the triangular bone located at the base of his spine in between his hips (think: the small of his back). There are nerves in the sacrum that are linked to the genitals, so stimulating these nerves can send sensations to his manly parts. In fact, some studies show that electrical stimulation of these nerves can trigger orgasm.
10. A penis isn't a vagina or a Slip'N Slide and doesn't just get wet on its own. I mean there's pre-cum, but that's like a light rain shower when a proper BJ usually requires a torrential downpour. Either get some lube that doesn't taste like a takeout bag, or drink some water and be prepared to use all the spit you can muster. It's not gross. This is someone you make out with (probably).
Now don't get me wrong I love giving head I always have but it's very discouraging when you can't make your own husband cum! He is in the military and left for training for a couple weeks and I wanted to do something nice for him when he got home so I bought your book. My attitude has been shit for the past couple years because I've been so frustrated and I really worked on that and I think I did a pretty damn good job! When he came home I tried out your advice and not only did he cum he said it was the best head he's ever gotten and he said his orgasm was deeper and more intense than its ever been! I also had a lot of fun and enjoyed making him feel so good. So just wanted to say thanks, it really helped!

90% of men adore when women give them a blowjob; also, it is quite important for women to make it more diverse and not in such a systematic way, because there is a major risk for her to be tired of it. There is a great range of blowjob positions, starting from the most traditional, with a relaxedmanlying on his back, to the fastidious one, when a denuded female partner at the maximum leveloverwhelms all the sensations experienced by her male partner. Primarily, a blowjob position directly-proportionally depends on your partner’s preferences, thus, take in mind all his feelings and desires. The blowjob involves using the hands and mouth, fingers, skilled tongue and even breast: caresshis penisgently, be sufficientlyrude, – and the resultwill not be long in coming. Many of women consider blowjob as something insufferable, but mind the fact, that while using such a petting, the man is entirely under your control and you may do with him everything you want.
Oral sex is commonly used as a means of preserving virginity, especially among heterosexual pairings; this is sometimes termed technical virginity (which additionally includes anal sex, mutual masturbation and other non-penetrative sex acts, but excludes penile-vaginal sex).[12][13][14][37] The concept of "technical virginity" or sexual abstinence through oral sex is particularly popular among teenagers,[14][23][38] including with regard to teenage girls who not only fellate their boyfriends to preserve their virginities, but also to create and maintain intimacy or to avoid pregnancy.[14] Other reasons given for the practice among teenage girls are peer-group pressure and as their introduction to sexual activity.[14] Additionally, gay males may regard fellatio as a way of maintaining their virginities, with penile-anal penetration defined as resulting in virginity loss, while other gay males may define fellatio as their main form of sexual activity.[12][15]
"Depth is definitely a plus for some guys, and with his partner’s legs over his arms or shoulders, missionary becomes a deeper position. But the greatest number of nerve endings on the penis is around the coronal ridge, colloquially known as the cock head; for this kind of stimulation, more pressure or tightness is a good idea. Try the missionary variant where his partner crosses her legs to add more pressure,” 

Perhaps the most important aspect of Schlissel's sleuthing is that excerpts from West's obscenity trial and disturbingly the censor's accusations sound as troubling today as they did 80 years ago. The arguments used 80 years ago to ban Mae West's bon mots are not unlike those used today to bar gay and lesbian artists from public funding and public self-expression.
Mae West, wise-cracking vaudeville performer, was one of the most controversial figures of her era. Rarely, however, do people think of Mae West as a writer. In Three Plays By Mae West, Lillian Schlissel brings this underexplored part of West's career to the fore by offering for the first time in book form, three of the plays West wrote in the 1920s--Sex (1926), The Drag (1927) and Pleasure Man (1928). With an insightful introduction by Schlissel, this book offers a unique look into to the life and early career of this legendary stage and screen actress.
"When I'm giving oral, I have as much fun with it as I can. This is a powerful position to be in, and I look at it as a privilege to induce such pleasure. If I'm receiving, I focus very much on enjoying myself and being present in the moment and letting go of my perfectionistic lifestyle. While giving is a power trip, receiving is vulnerable and requires trust."
The Magic Missionary is a twist on the regular missionary position that simultaneously stimulates both your and his hot buttons (he gets extremely firm and strong glans stimulation; you get close clitoral stimulation). "Both the man and woman's groin areas stay in constant contact in this position, which can be amazing for orgasms," says Paget. "The heat and sensation are never ending." Most important, the position is fabulous for inducing the sort of muscular contractions that can move mountains. Mattress-wise, it's not an energetic action, explains Paget, but it puts your bod in more pleasure-enhancing motions than the spread-eagle style because it lets you move and squeeze more to build arousal. Plus, your man will be using some of his strongest muscles — his thighs and glutes — so he'll endure like the Energizer Bunny.

It’s especially important not to compare her to your past partners. Your past experiences will create a good foundation of sexual skills, but don’t ever directly compare her to someone you’ve been with in the past. I’ve heard so many men say things like “All of the women I’ve been with have loved that position” or “My ex never had a problem orgasming.” These kinds of comments are insensitive and hurtful. They’re not going to magically change her preferences (“Oh really? Now I love that position, too!”), and they’re going to (rightfully) piss her off.
Try this: Have him lay on his back while you straddle him and give him what he really wants: a view of your scalp as you make your way down on him. Starting from his belly button, use your fingers and nails to trace a line down from his happy trail stopping before you hit total groin. Then retrace your steps, but use your tongue to trace a “V” shape from his hips to right above his penis. Draw it out and really tease him until he can’t take it any longer.
The thing is, I'm not your boyfriend and I don't have a reason to lie to you that your blowjobs are great when, in fact, you probably have no idea what you're doing. Even if you're "good" – that just doesn't cut it. You have no idea how mind-blowing your blowjobs can actually be. If don't ruin blowjobs for any other woman that ever puts her lips around him, then you're not doing a good job and you're not protecting your relationship.
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