Q: This is a rather general question, but I was wondering if you could write about how men can be good sexual partners for women. I have had several relationships end because the guy didn’t seem like he could be a partner in creating a healthy sex life. I know I’m not going to be sexually compatible with every guy I meet, but it seems like so many guys out there are selfish or disrespectful when it comes to sex.
Resolution and refraction After ejaculation, the penis begins to lose its erection. About half of the erection is lost immediately, and the rest fades soon after. Muscle tension fades, and the man may feel relaxed or drowsy, according to Ingber. Men usually must undergo a refractory period, or recovery phase, during which they cannot achieve another erection. This period is variable in men, says Ingber. In an 18-year-old, this is typically less than 15 minutes. In elderly men, it can be up to 10 to 20 hours. The average refractory period is about half an hour. Men differ from women in that men usually are satiated after one orgasm. Women can experience more than one orgasm with no loss of sexual arousal, and do not have to undergo a refractory period.
In terms of mastering the oral sex process, speed isn't the name of the game. “Trust me when I say that things will move a whole lot faster if you slow everything down,” says Morse. Take the time to get familiar with the female anatomy, which you can do using your eyes and your hands. “The clitoris, which is located above the vaginal opening, contains about 8,000 pleasure-packed nerve endings." Make it the area where you focus most of your attention.
Links have been reported between oral sex and oral cancer with human papillomavirus (HPV)-infected people.[24] A 2005 research study suggested that performing unprotected oral sex on a person infected with HPV might increase the risk of oral cancer. The study found that 36 percent of the cancer patients had HPV compared to only 1 percent of the healthy control group.[25]
There are several ways to reduce the risk of HIV transmission from oral sex. Naturally, some will be more acceptable than others to different individuals, so you must make your own decisions about the level of risk you find acceptable. If you would like to discuss these issues, ask to see a health adviser, or other health professional, at your HIV treatment centre or sexual health clinic. Many of the strategies below will also provide protection against other sexually transmitted infections:
The risk of HIV being passed on during oral sex centres on fluid containing HIV (semen, vaginal fluid or blood) finding a way into the bloodstream of an HIV-negative person (via the mouth or throat, which is more likely if there is inflammation, or cuts or sores present). HIV is not passed on through exposure to saliva alone, so a person with HIV performing oral sex on someone who is HIV negative is not considered to be a transmission risk.
It sounds intimidating, but the payoff is worth it. "Glance up at him just as you're about to take his penis as far into your mouth as you can, then maintain eye contact for a few strokes or the entire time," says Kait Scalisi, sex educator and founder of PassionbyKait.com. “This move is super intimate, as extended eye contact causes a release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, in both of you.”
Sexually active individuals should get tested regularly for STIs and HIV, and talk to all partner(s) about STIs. Anyone who thinks that he/she might have an STI should stop having sex and visit a doctor or clinic to get tested. There are free and low-cost options for testing available. It is important to talk openly with a health care provider about any activities that might put a person at risk for an STI, including oral sex.
Mare Simone, a certified Tantra educator, says that using your hot breath to stimulate nerve endings is an amazing way to ramp up foreplay before diving in. This works just as well with fellatio as it does with cunnilingus, too. Next time you’re going down on your partner, just take a step back to breathe on their sensitive parts before making contact. The suspense will turn them on in ways you didn’t know were possible.
Sometimes, as guys, you may take it for granted that you are more into oral sex than your partner. That’s actually not true: Women really love oral sex too, and if we are asking for it, we should be giving the same and more back. Reciprocity is an incredibly important part of sexual satisfaction, and women can be satisfied tremendously via oral sex: it just takes a bit more effort and consideration on your part to make it the best experience it can be for her. 
As many guys get close to orgasm, they typically just want you to keep doing that one thing you're doing without stopping 'til they get there. A little boring, but whatever. However, at the beginning to build up anticipation you can try shaking up your routine. Think alternating longer ice-cream style licks with more traditional full-mouth-over-the-peen sucking.

Each new partner does not come with an instruction manual, and you can’t always count on your partner to tell you exactly what she wants in the moment. If you’re looking for a hint or two to help you figure out what is working and what isn’t, you’ll have to rely on the next best thing: Her nonverbal cues. “Even if your partner is not a big moaner, her body will tell you everything you need to know," says Morse. Some signs to look for include quicker breathing, her body becoming flushed, a more engorged clitoris, more vaginal lubrication, and her thrusting her pelvis closer to you. "If all else fails, you can always ask her if she likes something or not — just be sure to phrase it in a sexy way so it sounds more like dirty talk than a request for feedback,” says Morse.
Treatment guidelines | Starting treatment | Side-effects | Adherence | Drug interactions and pharmacokinetics | Treatment for women | Resistance | Changing treatment | Treatment interruptions | Treatment-experienced people | New and experimental HIV treatments | Long-acting HIV treatment | Treatment simplification strategies | Outcomes and prognosis | The search for a cure | Bad science and bogus treatments
Try this: Have your partner take his shirt off and lay on his stomach with his arms by his side. Hot tip: keep his pants on, but pull them down a few inches for a tantalizing never-nude experience ;). Lightly run your fingers and or anxiety-ravaged cuticles down across his lower back, stopping before you hit ass cheek. Do not pass ‘Go’, collect $200, or go past his crack.
Another risk of oral sex is strain on your relationship, particularly if one of you doesn’t enjoy it or has concerns about it. One partner may have anxiety about their oral sexual performance or what their partner will think of them during oral sex. Or oral sex may make one partner feel under the other partner’s control. These are all important issues to resolve before introducing oral sex into your relationship. 
^ Robert Crooks; Karla Baur (2010). Our Sexuality. Cengage Learning. pp. 286–289. ISBN 0495812943. Retrieved August 30, 2012. Noncoital forms of sexual intimacy, which have been called outercourse, can be a viable form of birth control. Outercourse includes all avenues of sexual intimacy other than penile–vaginal intercourse, including kissing, touching, mutual masturbation, and oral and anal sex.

Sexually active individuals should get tested regularly for STIs and HIV, and talk to all partner(s) about STIs. Anyone who thinks that he/she might have an STI should stop having sex and visit a doctor or clinic to get tested. There are free and low-cost options for testing available. It is important to talk openly with a health care provider about any activities that might put a person at risk for an STI, including oral sex.


There are several ways to reduce the risk of HIV transmission from oral sex. Naturally, some will be more acceptable than others to different individuals, so you must make your own decisions about the level of risk you find acceptable. If you would like to discuss these issues, ask to see a health adviser, or other health professional, at your HIV treatment centre or sexual health clinic. Many of the strategies below will also provide protection against other sexually transmitted infections:
Receiving oral sex while standing up opens up a few great pleasure benefits. Most importantly, the giver uses their hands to add more stimulation to oral sex. Using hand job techniques during oral sex allows complete stimulation of the entire penis while taking the pressure off the giver to take the entire length of their lover's shaft into their mouth.

After massaging him for a few minutes, help him take off his trousers and briefs. Then just keep doing what you were doing, running your hands over his manhood. If you like, you can also softly trace your fingers up and down his dick and around his balls. If you want to learn more hand job techniques, then make sure to check out the Hand Job Guide here.


The dentist’s chair may seem like the last place you should be getting quizzed about your sex life, but some doctors think that should change. In an article published in January 2018 in the Journal of the American Dental Association, a group of physicians argued that dentists are in a unique position to screen for and speak with their patients about HPV-related cancers and the risks of unprotected oral sex.

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The dentist’s chair may seem like the last place you should be getting quizzed about your sex life, but some doctors think that should change. In an article published in January 2018 in the Journal of the American Dental Association, a group of physicians argued that dentists are in a unique position to screen for and speak with their patients about HPV-related cancers and the risks of unprotected oral sex.
Flying foxes have been observed engaging in oral sex.[57] Indian flying fox males will lick a female's vulva both before and after copulation, with the length of pre-copulation cunnilingus positively correlated with length of copulation.[58] The fruit bat Cynopterus sphinx, has been observed to engage in fellatio during mating. Pairs spend more time copulating if the female licks the male than if she does not.[56][59] Male Livingstone's fruit bats have been observed engaging in homosexual fellatio, although it is unknown if this is an example of sexual behavior or social grooming.[60] Bonin flying foxes also engage in homosexual fellatio, but the behavior has been observed independently of social grooming.[57]
Don’t stress if he doesn’t maintain a full-on erection throughout. Berkeley, California-based sexologist Amy Marsh says it’s totally normal for his erection to ebb and flow, and has nothing to do with how much fun he’s having. But it also doesn’t hurt to ask him to signal when he’s really enjoying himself. Says Marsh, “Being honest about how it feels will boost enjoyment on both sides.”
7. A penis doesn't have eyeballs and can't tell the difference between the back of a throat and the roof of a mouth. All those slimy surfaces on the inside of your mouth basically just all feel the same. Except your teeth, obviously. I don't have a penis so I don't personally get the appeal of "deep-throating," but (gently) ramming the tip of his dick into the roof of your mouth feels like the same thing and it doesn't make you gag.
People give various reasons for their dislike of oral sex.[1] Some state that since it does not result in reproduction, it is therefore unnatural.[37] Others find it less intimate because it is not a face-to-face practice,[1] or believe that it is a humiliating or unclean practice;[1][38] that it is humiliating or unclean are opinions that are, at least in some cases, connected with the symbolism attached to different parts of the body.[38] Opposite these views, people also believe that oral sex "is one of the most intimate behaviors that a couple can engage in because it requires total trust and vulnerability."[1]
If you’ve ever given a man oral sex and wondered about the potential health risks of swollowing his semen (assuming he’s free of sexually transmitted infections and the Zika virus, that is), rest easy; there's no evidence it can cause any harm. Some studies have even suggested that exposure to semen offers strange health benefits—like a reduced likelihood of preeclampsia or depression.
Best of all – you can master the art of blowjobs absolutely risk-free, on top off that you get my original blowjob lessons at half the price, plus all these awesome bonuses at no extra cost. Just click the Add To Cart button below and see for yourself. I promise it'll be the best decision you've made in a long, long time – the only thing you'll regret is not knowing about this years ago.
In situations like this, it can be almost impossible to avoid using your teeth as you take him into your mouth. The first thing you can do is to wrap your lips around your teeth so that your lips act as a soft barrier. The second thing is focusing on techniques where you don’t take him into your mouth like these ones or by giving him a handjob (learn everything you need to know about handjobs in this guide).
16. Penises that look small and non-menacing sometimes feel like novelty-sized pool noodles when they are inside of your mouth. Oh, it looked like a pinky finger from afar, but now that it's in your mouth, it's like one of those little toys that grows when you put it in water. What's happening in there? Who knows. Maybe we're all overestimating the size of our mouth holes.
The first scene of the third act opens in Toto's apartment for the party. Some boys are making small talk and Stanley, Bill and Chuck talk about the party. Toto shows up and mentions how happy he is that everyone came to his party. Terrill and Dolores arrive together and Stanley greets them. He asks where Randall is, but Terrill quickly changes the subject. The doorbell then rings and Randall barges in drunk asking where Dolores is. Toto and Stanley insist that she isn't at the party and they get him to leave quietly ending scene one. Scene two opens with the chief of police interrogating Steve about the murder of Terrill. Steve mentions the confrontation between Randall and Terrill at the theatre when Randall caught Terrill with Dolores. The chief then asks Toto why he threw the party and if Terrill was around. Toto mentions that Terrill was with Dolores the whole time. The chief then interrogates Dolores about Terrill and where her husband was. She mentions that she couldn't help but fall for Terrill and she did not see her husband at the party. Paradise brings up the fact that he showed up drunk. Randall does not remember anything after he left the party and Stanley argues that Terrill deserved to be killed. The chief arrests Randall. Paradise states that Terrill deserved his death after he struck down Mary Ann, which is revealed to be Ted Arnold's sister. The chief asks who Arnold is. Stanley tells him and just as the chief states the report of Randall's arrest, an officer arrives with Arnold in handcuffs stating that they found the killer. Arnold then states that he saw his sister's picture in Terrill's dressing room and knew that Terrill had been using her and found out that Terrill was the one who struck her earlier. He says that he did not want to kill him, just torture him. He had attempted to perform a surgery on Terrill that they would do on rats and other creatures in college "so that they could never propagate their own kind", but this resulted in his death. The play ends with Arnold telling the cops to take him away, his is ready to go.
Symptoms: Often there are no symptoms. In the first or primary stage of infection, may have a single sore or multiple sores on mouth, throat, genitals, or anus. In the second stage, may have a skin rash (often on the palms of the hands and the soles of the feet, but also on other body parts). The symptoms of syphilis will disappear with or without treatment, but without treatment, the infection remains in the body and may cause organ damage.

Other slang terms for oral sex include going down on (male or female), licking out and muff diving (female), blow job (male), dome (male or female), sucking off (male), playing the skin flute (male recipient), rolling cigars (male recipient), lolly-gagging (gay male-on-male), gaining knowledge (male recipient) and bust down (male). Forced fellatio is often called Egyptian rape or simply Egyptian; this goes back to the time of the Crusades when Mamluks were alleged to force their Christian captives to do this.[44]
Adapt the classic oral sex position by wrapping your legs around your lover's shoulders. This can be slightly acrobatic, so try it for short bursts and see how you feel in this position. Wrapping your legs around your lover's shoulders is a way of communicating your enthusiasm and excitement during oral sex, and your lover may enjoy feeling the skin of your legs and thighs. Remember that enthusiasm while receiving oral sex is infinitely sexy; by offering yourself up and clutching your lover's head between your thighs, you're participating more fully, and communicating your desire and excitement for oral stimulation.
Drive him wild: Many guys are heavily conditioned to focus solely on the genitals. "If you expand his capacity to have erotic experiences throughout his entire body, you can open up a whole other world of possibility for him," Michaels says. The thumb is actually a sexy spot for a lot of guys. "To suck on a man's thumb evokes sucking on something else, and can help him connect his mind and body during lovemaking. Start off foreplay by gazing into his eyes as you kiss his hands, and then suck on his thumb as a promise for what's to come," Michaels suggests.
Blow his freakin' mind and detract minutes from the amount of time his D is in your M by teasing your partner, pre-blow job. Getting him all worked up by kissing his hips and thighs feels great for him, and if you know your partner takes a bit longer to finish from oral, this might speed things up a bit. Not that there's anything wrong with taking your time! But sometimes you need to put oral sex on the express track. And there's nothing wrong with that either.
Otherwise, my blowjob advice is completely unconventional and unusual. It has helped tens of thousands of women become Masters of oral sex, so I don't see why it wouldn't work for you, too. For most of my blowjob graduates – simply applying 2 or 3 of my tips instantly supercharged their results, and they didn't even apply 5% of my advice. It's crazy that a few simple changes in your technique can instantly take your blowjobs to the next level.
For oral sex on a man, use a condom during oral sex. For oral sex on a woman, or when performing anilingus on a man or a woman, use a dam. A dam is a small thin latex or plastic square that acts as a barrier between the vagina or anus and the mouth. It may prevent the spread of STIs. You can buy dams at some sexual health clinics, online or at your pharmacy. 
Otherwise, my blowjob advice is completely unconventional and unusual. It has helped tens of thousands of women become Masters of oral sex, so I don't see why it wouldn't work for you, too. For most of my blowjob graduates – simply applying 2 or 3 of my tips instantly supercharged their results, and they didn't even apply 5% of my advice. It's crazy that a few simple changes in your technique can instantly take your blowjobs to the next level.
It is difficult for some people to perform fellatio, due to their sensitivities to the natural gag reflex. Different people have different sensitivities to the reflex, but some people learn to suppress the reflex. Deep-throating is an act in which a man's partner takes the entire erect penis deep into their mouth, in such a way as to enter their throat.

All of this pressure women feel around our bodies affects our enjoyment of sex. It’s hard to be in the moment when you’re worried about your stomach looking flabby or ashamed of the way your genitals taste. There’s no way to understand what it’s like to be a woman if you aren’t one, but I bring up this issue because being sensitive about this can help men be better partners to women. Men aren’t responsible for making women feel more self-confident, but you can help her feel more comfortable in the moment. Tell her the specific things you love about her body. Compliment her during the most vulnerable moments, like when you’re taking off her clothes or moving down between her legs. Let her know that the way she tastes and smells turns you on.
Many women are so anxious at the thought of giving head to their man, that they just get straight to it with little or no build up and with no teasing. It’s like they are focused only on making him ejaculate and getting that sperm out of him. Gently teasing your man and building up the sexual tension, so that he is practically begging you to blow him is vital if you want to take your blow jobs from good to great.
Oral Herpes: You can transmit oral herpes to your partner's genital. In fact, HSV-1 (the type that causes cold sores) may be even more contagious than HSV-2 (the type associated with genital herpes). In general, performing oral sex on a woman is safer than performing oral sex on a man. However, herpes transmission in both directions is a real risk.
With a little skill and a lot of confidence, using your hands to pleasure your man can add a whole new dimension to your sex life. Many women find this to be an exciting and sexy addition, as they take control and are able to pleasure their man in a whole new way. All too often we forget about our hands as the amazing erotic tools they are designed to be; we are built to give and receive pleasure, and touch is our primary way of communicating with our lover.
If you have a comfortable recliner or reading chair, try putting a pillow on the floor in front of you, scooting to the edge of the chair and inviting your partner to kneel in front of you. This can also work on the edge of a bed. Inviting your lover to kneel in front of you and perform oral sex is a delicious way to allow them to worship your lovely body. 

Act One opens in a theatre in a small Midwest town. The scrubwomen are finishing up cleaning the theatre, looting scraps left from previous performances and gossiping. The crew comes in and begins to set up for a Vaudeville performance. Steve eagerly waits for the performers to arrive. Paradise arrives first with Edgar and their boys. Paradise describes their act and Edgar goes over music cues with The Leader. Terrill then arrives with his Japanese Valet and he begins to flirt with Bobby. Flo comes in as Bobby leaves and Terrill flirts with her as well and speaks of letters that he supposedly sent her in the past. Steve comes back in and warns Terrill to knock off his old ways or he will be thrown out. Steve then warns the dancers of Terrill and begins to assign dressing rooms. Randall and Dolores arrive and as Randall works out some issues with Steve, Terrill confesses his love to Dolores. Dolores worries that Randall will find out about them. Randall and Dolores find out that their electrician doesn't have a union card, which evolves into them arguing about the suspicion Randall has over Dolores and Terrill. The Otto brothers arrive and are missing one of their partners. Stanley agrees to help with their act as he used to be an acrobat himself. The act ends with Arnold fiddling with lights and Randall starting to rehearse with Dolores and the dancers.
If you are sexually active, you should get tested regularly for STDs and HIV and talk to your partner(s) about STDs. If you think you might have an STD, stop having sex and visit your doctor or clinic to get tested. There are free and low-cost options for testing in your area. It is important that you talk openly with your health care provider about any activities that might put you at risk for an STD, including oral sex.  
Each new partner does not come with an instruction manual, and you can’t always count on your partner to tell you exactly what she wants in the moment. If you’re looking for a hint or two to help you figure out what is working and what isn’t, you’ll have to rely on the next best thing: Her nonverbal cues. “Even if your partner is not a big moaner, her body will tell you everything you need to know," says Morse. Some signs to look for include quicker breathing, her body becoming flushed, a more engorged clitoris, more vaginal lubrication, and her thrusting her pelvis closer to you. "If all else fails, you can always ask her if she likes something or not — just be sure to phrase it in a sexy way so it sounds more like dirty talk than a request for feedback,” says Morse.
If you’re happy and comfortable with the person you’re with then oral sex can be a great way to get physically closer and learn what turns each other on. But remember that you can pause or stop at any point you want, and the same is true for your partner. Just because you have started something doesn’t mean you need to continue – stopping is actually very normal.
Perhaps the most important aspect of Schlissel's sleuthing is that excerpts from West's obscenity trial and disturbingly the censor's accusations sound as troubling today as they did 80 years ago. The arguments used 80 years ago to ban Mae West's bon mots are not unlike those used today to bar gay and lesbian artists from public funding and public self-expression.
How to find it: "Men have a relatively higher concentration of nerve endings in the soles of their feet than women do," says Mark Michaels, coauthor of Partners in Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy, and Long-Term Love. "There is an acupressure point about one-third of the way down from the third toe, right in front of the arch in the center of the foot." Nicknamed the "bubbling spring," pressing on this point may boost blood flow throughout the body, getting him all hot and bothered.

Assume an all-fours crawling position and let him enter you from behind, either standing or kneeling on the bed behind you. "But instead of staying on your hands and knees, tilt your shoulders downward with your forearms flat on the bed in front of you," says Paget. The natural curve in your back from this variation will expand or contract your vaginal wall so you can monitor how deep he goes. If you arch your back into a small hump, it will shorten your vagina and shift the stimulation down a notch; bend it the other way and you'll get deeper, more intense thrusting action. Plus, he'll get strong stimulation to the head of his penis, the most sensitive part. If you don't like him to go deep, have him use a circular motion so his pelvic bones don't push into your tush. Should your arms begin to ache from the exertion, meld with the mattress by lying flat on your stomach but arching your buttocks upward by placing a pillow under your pelvis. He'll be perfectly positioned to hit your G-spot, which is on the anterior (tummy side) vaginal wall.


As with other types of sexual activity, oral sex carries the risk of STIs. It may be possible to get some STIs in the mouth or throat from giving oral sex to a partner with a genital or anal/rectal infection, particularly from giving fellatio. It also may be possible to get certain STIs on the penis, and possibly the vagina, anus or rectum, from receiving oral sex from a partner with a mouth or throat infection. It’s possible to have an STI in more than one area, for example in the throat and the genitals.
Doctors used to think that human papillomavirus (HPV), the most common sexually transmitted infection in the United States, couldn’t affect the mouth. But recent research has them rethinking this notion. Scientists have now shown that the same high-risk strains of HPV that lead to cervical cancer can also be transmitted by oral sex and potentially cause head, neck, and throat cancer, as well.
Other slang terms for oral sex include going down on (male or female), licking out and muff diving (female), blow job (male), dome (male or female), sucking off (male), playing the skin flute (male recipient), rolling cigars (male recipient), lolly-gagging (gay male-on-male), gaining knowledge (male recipient) and bust down (male). Forced fellatio is often called Egyptian rape or simply Egyptian; this goes back to the time of the Crusades when Mamluks were alleged to force their Christian captives to do this.[44]

Fellatio may reduce the risk of miscarriages by inducing immunological tolerance in the woman by exposure to the proteins in her partner's semen, a process known as paternal tolerance. While any exposure to a partner's semen appears to decrease a woman's chances for the various immunological disorders that can occur during pregnancy, immunological tolerance could be most quickly established through the oral introduction and gastrointestinal absorption of semen.[31][32] Recognizing that some of the studies potentially included the presence of confounding factors, such as the possibility that women who regularly perform fellatio and swallow semen also engage in more frequent intercourse, the researchers also noted that, either way, "the data still overwhelmingly supports the main theory" behind all their studies—that repeated exposure to semen establishes the maternal immunological tolerance necessary for a safe and successful pregnancy.[32][33]

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When was the last time you had sex with just your hands? What are your first thoughts when this question is posed? Many women haven't brought a man fully to climax with just their hands since high school or college. Some think it "doesn't count as sex." Others are simply at a loss, claiming they don't know how. Or, you might think a man can do that all on his own, so why would you bother?
Oral Herpes: You can transmit oral herpes to your partner's genital. In fact, HSV-1 (the type that causes cold sores) may be even more contagious than HSV-2 (the type associated with genital herpes). In general, performing oral sex on a woman is safer than performing oral sex on a man. However, herpes transmission in both directions is a real risk.
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