"When I'm giving oral, I have as much fun with it as I can. This is a powerful position to be in, and I look at it as a privilege to induce such pleasure. If I'm receiving, I focus very much on enjoying myself and being present in the moment and letting go of my perfectionistic lifestyle. While giving is a power trip, receiving is vulnerable and requires trust."

Drive him wild: "If you're with a man who enjoys this, start by stroking around the aureole and gently tweaking the nipple with your fingers," Cavanah says. "Lick around it and suck on it, increasing pressure and gently biting it. Nipples can be twisted and pulled to great effect, too." She also suggests trying a pair of nipple clamps when he's really turned on. It will keep blood flow in the area, increasing sensitivity and keeping them at attention. Or try sucking on an ice cube and then sucking on his nipples. "The contraction of his nipples due to the cold can heighten the sensations," Michaels says.
The thing is, I'm not your boyfriend and I don't have a reason to lie to you that your blowjobs are great when, in fact, you probably have no idea what you're doing. Even if you're "good" – that just doesn't cut it. You have no idea how mind-blowing your blowjobs can actually be. If don't ruin blowjobs for any other woman that ever puts her lips around him, then you're not doing a good job and you're not protecting your relationship.
Despite what you may have seen in porn, you shouldn’t feel like you have to immediately jam his entire penis down your throat (or even at all). "Gagging takes you both out of the moment, and you and he will enjoy oral sex much more when you're both having fun," says Marsh. You can achieve a similar sensation by gripping the base of his shaft, and moving your hand and mouth in a rhythmic motion. (Flavored lube will make this a lot easier.)

Observations: 1. The world would be a lot happier if this is what they taught in sex ed 2. My ex's had no idea what they were doing 3. How does one show this video to their GF without suggesting they suck at BJs? (pun intended) 4. How does one show this video to their GF without admitting they've been jerking it to LittleCaprice working her magic on PornHub? (asking for a friend )
After massaging him for a few minutes, help him take off his trousers and briefs. Then just keep doing what you were doing, running your hands over his manhood. If you like, you can also softly trace your fingers up and down his dick and around his balls. If you want to learn more hand job techniques, then make sure to check out the Hand Job Guide here.
11. You do not have to bow down before his erect penis like it's royalty. In movies and TV shows and whatever else, the only BJ position ever depicted is a woman on her knees, bobbing her head back and forth while a man stands up like a statuesque Greek god. This is so rare IRL! You don't have to invest in knee pads, like Stephanie from seventh grade said you would! Stephanie lied to you. Just get on the bed and do it lying down. It's COMFIER.
Social stigma seems to focus on the taste of women’s genitals more than men’s. In fact, men can smell and taste just as strong as women. If you're new to fellatio, you might be worried about taste and smell. If so, suggest a sexy bath or shower together and start with a clean slate. While the artificial tastes may be no better (and can be much worse) some people like to use flavored lubricant or put on a flavored condom, which may not taste better but comes with the added benefit of making oral sex a bit safer.
It may be surprising to hear, but men love foreplay to be drawn out significantly longer more than most women think[3]. So, while giving him a quickie BJ can be super hot for both of you (like say sneaking away for a few minutes at a party), you’ll find that a slow, teasing build up is going to result in your man blowing a bigger load[4]…and a bigger smile on his face. This is probably the most powerful, but also the most overlooked blow job tip you can learn. With this in mind, here are a bunch of great “fellatio foreplay” tips that you can use before giving your man head:
I have no idea really how to be sexy. I have no imagination when it comes to sex. My husband is a freak and wants to do new things. Things I don’t really care to do but I do them because he likes it. Tried the three some thing. Hated it refuse to do it again. Just the thought of him with another woman irritates me. I’m simple. My wants and desires are simple. I just want to be wanted. Is there something wrong with me if I have no desire to not explore new things ? How do I get out of that feeling? He expects me to come up with new things and I truly don’t know what else to do. Right now we are exploring dildos and strap ons. This also made me read about blow jobs. I’m not very good at it and he’s made that clear. I gag if it goes too deep I gag if there’s just a hint of cum. He asks me if I like certain things I say yes because I know it turns him on when I really don’t like it. Any advice for the non sexual person?
The dentist’s chair may seem like the last place you should be getting quizzed about your sex life, but some doctors think that should change. In an article published in January 2018 in the Journal of the American Dental Association, a group of physicians argued that dentists are in a unique position to screen for and speak with their patients about HPV-related cancers and the risks of unprotected oral sex.
There are several ways to reduce the risk of HIV transmission from oral sex. Naturally, some will be more acceptable than others to different individuals, so you must make your own decisions about the level of risk you find acceptable. If you would like to discuss these issues, ask to see a health adviser, or other health professional, at your HIV treatment centre or sexual health clinic. Many of the strategies below will also provide protection against other sexually transmitted infections:
It may be surprising to hear, but men love foreplay to be drawn out significantly longer more than most women think[3]. So, while giving him a quickie BJ can be super hot for both of you (like say sneaking away for a few minutes at a party), you’ll find that a slow, teasing build up is going to result in your man blowing a bigger load[4]…and a bigger smile on his face. This is probably the most powerful, but also the most overlooked blow job tip you can learn. With this in mind, here are a bunch of great “fellatio foreplay” tips that you can use before giving your man head:
Now don't get me wrong I love giving head I always have but it's very discouraging when you can't make your own husband cum! He is in the military and left for training for a couple weeks and I wanted to do something nice for him when he got home so I bought your book. My attitude has been shit for the past couple years because I've been so frustrated and I really worked on that and I think I did a pretty damn good job! When he came home I tried out your advice and not only did he cum he said it was the best head he's ever gotten and he said his orgasm was deeper and more intense than its ever been! I also had a lot of fun and enjoyed making him feel so good. So just wanted to say thanks, it really helped!
Oral sex is common among sexually active adults. According to a national survey conducted from June 2006 through December 2008, over 80% of sexually active youth and adults ages 15-44 years reported having had oral sex at least once with a partner of the opposite sex. The same survey found that 45% or more of teenage girls and boys (ages 15-19 years) report having had oral sex with a partner of the opposite sex. 

Oral sex should be limited to the protected areas. A makeshift dental dam can be made out of a condom[22] or a latex or nitrile glove,[23] but using a real dental dam is seen as preferable; this is because real dental dams cover a larger area, avoid accidents caused by "slipping" outside the covered area, and avoid the risk that makeshift versions may be accidentally damaged or poked with the scissors during the cutting procedure. Plastic wrap may also be used as a barrier during oral sex, but there exists no conclusive scientific research regarding how effective it may or may not be at preventing disease transmission. Certain kinds of plastic wrap are manufactured to be microwaveable and are designed to have pores that open when heated, but there also exists no scientific research on what effect, if any, this has on disease transmission when used during oral sex.[24] Some people complain that the thickness of the plastic dulls sensation.

While there's no male equivalent for the queening position, men deserve to feel like royalty, too. Receiving oral sex while seated in a comfortable chair, his lover kneeling in front of him, is perhaps the closest men can feel to sitting on a throne. Make it even more special by allowing him to watch a sports game, porn or another video of choice. Or put a special drink in his hand, or light a cigar before going down.

Despite what you may have seen in porn, you shouldn’t feel like you have to immediately jam his entire penis down your throat (or even at all). "Gagging takes you both out of the moment, and you and he will enjoy oral sex much more when you're both having fun," says Marsh. You can achieve a similar sensation by gripping the base of his shaft, and moving your hand and mouth in a rhythmic motion. (Flavored lube will make this a lot easier.)


Try this: reverse finger job. Make two tight rings around his penis with your thumb and index finger (like you’re doing the okay hand symbol 👌), stacking them one on top of the other, in the middle of his shaft. Twist the rings in opposite directions moving from middle to the top and base of his shaft at the same time. Cox calls this a “torrid twist” the the typical one-handed uppy-downey handy. Remember to use lube, though!
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Probably the worst thing you can do, pre-blow job, is underestimate your own abilities. Be confident! You're better at this than you think you are, and most guys are grateful that you ventured south at all. If you're truly nervous, tell your partner about it. And if that's off the table, talk about with some female friends. They've definitely been nervous, too. Talking it out can help, big time.
Each new partner does not come with an instruction manual, and you can’t always count on your partner to tell you exactly what she wants in the moment. If you’re looking for a hint or two to help you figure out what is working and what isn’t, you’ll have to rely on the next best thing: Her nonverbal cues. “Even if your partner is not a big moaner, her body will tell you everything you need to know," says Morse. Some signs to look for include quicker breathing, her body becoming flushed, a more engorged clitoris, more vaginal lubrication, and her thrusting her pelvis closer to you. "If all else fails, you can always ask her if she likes something or not — just be sure to phrase it in a sexy way so it sounds more like dirty talk than a request for feedback,” says Morse.
When I first read your book I had never given a bj and I was extremely nervous and I had no idea what to do. Your advice helped me soooooo much I was so confident. My boyfriend actually asked if I was lying to him when I told him he was the first. None of the other stuff about this I found were as encouraging as yours and I couldn't belive how excited I was to give head. Now I do it all the time for my boyfriend and he adores me for it! One time I even did it while he was driving he loved it! Anyway I just wanted to thank you. Honestly your advice was so much help I you helped strengthen my relationship! Any girl who gives head, whether they are a beginer or a pro, they should check your book out. Thanks again!

"I had a glass of ice put off to the side; my boyfriend at the time didn't think anything of it. As I was about to give him head (without him noticing), I popped a small ice cube into my mouth. He didn't expect it whatsoever, which was my favorite part. He loved it, and throughout our relationship, I did that every now and then to spice up the foreplay."
Fellatio is legal in most countries. Laws of some jurisdictions regard fellatio as penetrative sex for the purposes of sexual offenses with regard to the act, but most countries do not have laws which ban the practice, in contrast to anal sex or extramarital sex. In Islamic literature, the only forms of sexual activity that are consistently explicitly prohibited within marriage are anal sex and sexual activity during menstrual cycles.[39] However, the exact attitude towards oral sex is a subject of disagreements between modern scholars of Islam. Authorities considering it "objectionable" do so because of the penis's supposedly impure fluids coming in contact with the mouth.[40] Others emphasize that there is no decisive evidence to forbid oral sex.[41]
For oral sex on a man, use a condom during oral sex. For oral sex on a woman, or when performing anilingus on a man or a woman, use a dam. A dam is a small thin latex or plastic square that acts as a barrier between the vagina or anus and the mouth. It may prevent the spread of STIs. You can buy dams at some sexual health clinics, online or at your pharmacy. 

Foreplay can mean the difference between a standard oral sex experience and the best. time. ever. To up the excitement, start by licking, blowing, stroking, and kissing everything but his penis. “Wait until he’s flushed, panting, and practically — or really! — begging for it. It’ll be more than worth the wait,” says Scalisi. You could also turn foreplay into a game with some Naughty Roll Play Dice ($18, babeland.com). They'll tell you exactly where to touch each other.
After massaging him for a few minutes, help him take off his trousers and briefs. Then just keep doing what you were doing, running your hands over his manhood. If you like, you can also softly trace your fingers up and down his dick and around his balls. If you want to learn more hand job techniques, then make sure to check out the Hand Job Guide here.
How to find it: The sacrum is the triangular bone located at the base of his spine in between his hips (think: the small of his back). There are nerves in the sacrum that are linked to the genitals, so stimulating these nerves can send sensations to his manly parts. In fact, some studies show that electrical stimulation of these nerves can trigger orgasm.
The dentist’s chair may seem like the last place you should be getting quizzed about your sex life, but some doctors think that should change. In an article published in January 2018 in the Journal of the American Dental Association, a group of physicians argued that dentists are in a unique position to screen for and speak with their patients about HPV-related cancers and the risks of unprotected oral sex.
Make him go wild: Your best bet is to talk to your guy outside of the bedroom before you try to finger his anus so he doesn't get any unwanted surprises. Try bringing it up during a romantic dinner by saying you love making love with him, and want to experiment even more. You might say that you heard stimulating his prostate can trigger a really intense orgasm, and see if he would be down to try it later on. If your guy isn't comfortable with you using your fingers to gently penetrate the area, there are other ways to stimulate his prostate. One way to do this is to give some loving to his perineum, or the smooth strip of skin between his testicles and anus. The prostate is internally located between the base of his penis and his anus so touching him on the outside of that area can externally stimulate the gland. "Have him lie on his back with his knees bend and legs spread apart, and then use your fist to apply even pressure to the area with quick vibration-like motions," Michaels says.   
Along the same lines of not being bashful, Dr. Jill McDevitt, CalExotics’ Resident Sexologist, says it’s really important to spread the labia during cunnilingus. This way, your partner has the space to approach the clitoris from all angles and sides. “Typically, beginners are really bashful about this, but spread the labia wide, get in the folds, and sensation will improve.” This is also good to keep in mind when you’re receiving cunnilingus. Don’t be afraid to reach down and ~show yourself~ for your partner.
We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off-limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto today’s topic: how men can be better sexual partners to women.
The chance an HIV-negative person will get HIV from oral sex with an HIV-positive partner is extremely low. However, it is hard to know the exact risk because a lot of people who have oral sex also have anal or vaginal sex. The type of oral sex that may be the riskiest is mouth-to-penis oral sex. But the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex.
An intensely pleasurable blow job tip that you can use on him is to use the tip of your tongue to apply a gentle flicking motion to it. While you are naturally going to stimulate his frenulum while sucking him (learn tips on sucking here and here) or just licking his penis (learn some oral sex licking techniques here), this technique is different as you will be focusing all your stimulation on a very specific point on his penis.
It doesn’t matter how memorable your oral skills may be — if your partner is distracted or stuck in her head, she is not going to be able to enjoy herself. “Oral sex offers an interesting paradox; many women love it yet it can find it so challenging to relax into the moment. This is why so many women tense up when their partner goes down," says Dr. Emily Morse, host of the Sex With Emily podcast and author of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight. "The best thing you can say to a woman is, ‘Relax, I’ve got all night.' " Since women can worry about whether you want to be down there and may be self-conscious about how long it takes them to get off, a quick reassurance will go a long way.
24. It doesn't make you a slut to enjoy giving BJs and it doesn't make you a prude to hate giving BJs. This one sex act is way overblown (LOL, sorry, I'm sorry) but really it's just one thing on an endless menu of sex things you can do to a person. No one decent will cut things off with you if you don't like giving BJs, and I swear if anyone ever slut-shames you for liking BJs, direct them to me immediately because there's a conversation we need to have. You like what you like and hate what you hate, and it's all fine and good.
Using your hands is also the best way to explore prolonging his arousal and delaying ejaculation. Your hands can quickly respond to feedback, allowing you to back off on stimulation before he reaches the point of "no return" and climaxes. After you gain confidence using your hands to pleasure him, begin playing with prolonging his pleasure. Work together to notice and communicate as he gets closer to ejaculation, and play with backing off and building up as many times as you can before he simply can't wait any longer and wants to experience his climax.
In some cultures, such as Cambodia, Chinese in Southeast Asia, northern Manchu tribes along Amur River,[47] Sambians in Papua New Guinea, Thailand, Telugus of India, Hawaii and other Pacific Islanders, briefly taking the penis of a male infant or toddler into one's mouth was considered a nonsexual form of affection or even a form of ritual, greeting, respect, parenting love, or lifesaving.[48][49][50][51] According to some sources, it was an ancient Chinese custom for grandmothers, mothers, and elder sisters to calm their baby boys with fellatio.[52][53] It has also been reported that some modern Chinese mothers have performed fellatio to their moribund sons as affection and means for lifesaving, because they culturally believe that when the penis is completely retracted into the abdomen, the boy or man will die.[51][54][55]

Learning about sex in a general sense is important, but it’s just as important to realize that different things work for different women. What one woman likes won’t necessarily be a hit for another. Any time you’re with someone new, get to know her body, just as you would get to know about her as a person. When you’re being intimate, ask her what she wants and likes (even simple questions like “Is this a good stroke?” are helpful). Solicit her feedback during and after your times together. Pay attention to how she responds nonverbally, too, and adjust your approach accordingly. Does she breathe more heavily when you use one particular stroke? Does she moan when you pick up the pace?
The Nipples: Bursting full of nerve endings, the nipples are always a great way to turn him on without actually giving him anything. After a good kiss, and before you go down on him, pause at the nipples and lick, suck and bite on them (very, very softly, please, I don’t want to end up in a court case named ‘Bitten-Off Nipple vs Buonasorte’). Also, don’t forget that there are two nipples and not just one.
Try this: Suck his lower lip into your mouth the next time you’re making out and use the tip of your tongue to stroke this under-lip area. "That motion stimulates the whole erogenous zone in a teasing way, which will put him on the erotic edge," says Paget. "And by keeping his lower lip inside yours, you magnify the sensation. It'll feel as if electric currents are shooting from his mouth straight to his member."
The chance an HIV-negative person will get HIV from oral sex with an HIV-positive partner is extremely low. However, it is hard to know the exact risk because a lot of people who have oral sex also have anal or vaginal sex. The type of oral sex that may be the riskiest is mouth-to-penis oral sex. But the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex.
People give various reasons for their dislike of oral sex.[1] Some state that since it does not result in reproduction, it is therefore unnatural.[37] Others find it less intimate because it is not a face-to-face practice,[1] or believe that it is a humiliating or unclean practice;[1][38] that it is humiliating or unclean are opinions that are, at least in some cases, connected with the symbolism attached to different parts of the body.[38] Opposite these views, people also believe that oral sex "is one of the most intimate behaviors that a couple can engage in because it requires total trust and vulnerability."[1]
The Pleasure Man began as a rework of West’s short-lived play, The Drag. West made the protagonist of The Pleasure Man to be heterosexual rather than homosexual, and refined the comedy and plot progression. However, the show still retained the Drag Ball spectacle that concluded the show. Initial rehearsals of the play began with West simply writing notes on scraps of paper and letting the actors improvise and find the scenes themselves.[1]
Lack Of Variation – An obvious, but often forgotten blow job “don’t” is a lack of variation. Just like performing the same tasks over and over at the office make for a dull, boring workday, this is also the case for your sex life. In fact studies have shown that while both men and women enjoy new sexual experiences, men have a higher preference for new and exciting sexual stimulation[8], so why not give it to him!
Doctors used to think that human papillomavirus (HPV), the most common sexually transmitted infection in the United States, couldn’t affect the mouth. But recent research has them rethinking this notion. Scientists have now shown that the same high-risk strains of HPV that lead to cervical cancer can also be transmitted by oral sex and potentially cause head, neck, and throat cancer, as well.
It’s hard to describe just how hard having a female body can be. Women are expected to live up to the insane standards perpetuated by the media. We’re bombarded by Photoshopped images of perfect bodies and shamed for not living up these ideals. Every single body part is nitpicked to death. Aside from the usual flat stomach, perky boobs, and shapely butt, we’re supposed to have thin, toned arms, be cankle-free, and even delicate collarbones. On top of all of that, we’re socialized to believe that our genitals “look weird” and “smell funny.”

Trust and communication are essential here. The man must exercise enough self-control to keep the thrusting comfortable and pleasurable for his lover, while the receiver must stay relaxed and receptive enough to receive the thrusts. If you want to try irrumatio, we recommend having a hand signal in place to communicate if the thrusts ever get too deep or too fast. This oral sex position can be wildly thrilling for both partners if done with respect and awareness.
Don’t be fooled by the term “oral sex” — your mouth doesn’t have to carry the full burden of her pleasure. “Your tongue is great, don’t get me wrong, but you’ve got two other tools at your disposal that can really help to bring her home: Your hands. You can easily bring your fingers into play while you give your mouth a break," says Morse. "And it doesn’t stop there: A lot of women really enjoy a bit of manual stimulation during cunnilingus,” says Morse. Doing so can even help her orgasm faster.
Three plays by Mae West. Great plays that have languished in the shadows all these years. They created great controversy, especially SEX and THE DRAG, which was banned from playing in New York City. It was about Drag Queens and Mae was brave to try to produce that play. She was a pioneer, and I am waiting for some savvy producer to bring back these plays. Wonderful read, great laughs.

A: Thanks for your question! I love talking about the nitty-gritty, but I welcome the opportunity to talk about larger topics, too. I’m all about creating a more sex-positive world, and it’s important to talk about how we can all contribute to that. Of course, I have to give the caveat that not all men approach sex the same way. That being said, there are some broad patterns I have noticed in my work with men and straight couples.

We all know the classic 69 position, but very few people can actually reach orgasm in this position. One of the greatest things about oral sex is taking turns. One person gets to totally relax and receive, and the other person can focus on giving as much pleasure as possible. 69 can be really distracting, and most people just end up moaning and gasping rather than focusing on giving.

thank you thank you thank you! just your articles helped sooooo much! I use to HATE HATE HATE giving blowjobs because i had NO idea how to but i read your online articles and now thats all my boyfriend wants me to do. As weird as it sounds it also has helped our relationship and we arent fighting as much anymore. its an amazing transformation so THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
8. Anyone who DEMANDS a blow job is almost certainly not worth a moment of your time. Yeah, this should go without saying, but I'm gonna say it anyway. No one should ever demand or force any sexual act from you, and this goes for blow jobs, too. Some men have this (wrong, completely bogus) idea in their head that they deserve oral sex. LOL, no. If anyone ever says they require a blow job, feel free to say you require hooking up with people who aren't dickheads.
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