Along the same lines of not being bashful, Dr. Jill McDevitt, CalExotics’ Resident Sexologist, says it’s really important to spread the labia during cunnilingus. This way, your partner has the space to approach the clitoris from all angles and sides. “Typically, beginners are really bashful about this, but spread the labia wide, get in the folds, and sensation will improve.” This is also good to keep in mind when you’re receiving cunnilingus. Don’t be afraid to reach down and ~show yourself~ for your partner.
The sexy views of doggy style and (especially) reverse cowgirl can be great for ass men, who get to view (and touch) the ass as much as they like.  “When physical limitations do not intrude, there’s also a lot to be said for the excitement of lifting his partner up (legs around his waist for stability, and up against a wall for even more stability),” says Queen. 

Each new partner does not come with an instruction manual, and you can’t always count on your partner to tell you exactly what she wants in the moment. If you’re looking for a hint or two to help you figure out what is working and what isn’t, you’ll have to rely on the next best thing: Her nonverbal cues. “Even if your partner is not a big moaner, her body will tell you everything you need to know," says Morse. Some signs to look for include quicker breathing, her body becoming flushed, a more engorged clitoris, more vaginal lubrication, and her thrusting her pelvis closer to you. "If all else fails, you can always ask her if she likes something or not — just be sure to phrase it in a sexy way so it sounds more like dirty talk than a request for feedback,” says Morse.

Along the same lines of not being bashful, Dr. Jill McDevitt, CalExotics’ Resident Sexologist, says it’s really important to spread the labia during cunnilingus. This way, your partner has the space to approach the clitoris from all angles and sides. “Typically, beginners are really bashful about this, but spread the labia wide, get in the folds, and sensation will improve.” This is also good to keep in mind when you’re receiving cunnilingus. Don’t be afraid to reach down and ~show yourself~ for your partner.


Sexually active individuals should get tested regularly for STIs and HIV, and talk to all partner(s) about STIs. Anyone who thinks that he/she might have an STI should stop having sex and visit a doctor or clinic to get tested. There are free and low-cost options for testing available. It is important to talk openly with a health care provider about any activities that might put a person at risk for an STI, including oral sex.
Books are an easy way to jump-start your own sex ed. The Big Bang by Nerve is a great entry-level primer to all things sex. She Comes First by Ian Kerner is an incredible book about refining your oral sex technique. Check out some books about sex positions or female orgasm. These are all fun topics to brush up on, so this shouldn’t ever feel like a chore!
^ Jump up to: a b c d See here and pages 47-49 for views on what constitutes virginity loss and therefore sexual intercourse or other sexual activity; source discusses how gay and lesbian individuals define virginity loss, and how the majority of researchers and heterosexuals define virginity loss/"technical virginity" by whether or not a person has engaged in penile-vaginal sex. Laura M. Carpenter (2005). Virginity Lost: An Intimate Portrait of First Sexual Experiences. NYU Press. pp. 295 pages. ISBN 0-8147-1652-0. Retrieved October 9, 2011.
Option 2 is that you keep reading Cosmo and similar women's magazines, or listen to your "more experienced" girlfriends that are "sexperts" when it comes to men and blowjobs. How far did listening to them get you? Sure, you can learn a thing or two, but you have access to the exact same basic information all other women do as well. It doesn't make you special. And most guys laugh out loud when they see what kind of BS advice women get. Of course guys get turned off.
Option 1 is that you leave and do nothing to improve your sex life. You may think blowjobs are not that important for a relationship's success... and that's OK, but pray a Blowjob Queen never puts her lips around your man's penis. Or your relationship may fall apart like a house of cards in a thunderstorm. I'm a guy and I know how men think – we are sexual, hedonistic creatures and we will always choose better sex if we have the option. Why risk it or worry about it when you can have a carefree, loving relationship?
Trust and communication are essential here. The man must exercise enough self-control to keep the thrusting comfortable and pleasurable for his lover, while the receiver must stay relaxed and receptive enough to receive the thrusts. If you want to try irrumatio, we recommend having a hand signal in place to communicate if the thrusts ever get too deep or too fast. This oral sex position can be wildly thrilling for both partners if done with respect and awareness. 

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