Oral sex is commonly used as a means of preserving virginity, especially among heterosexual pairings; this is sometimes termed technical virginity (which additionally includes anal sex, mutual masturbation and other non-penetrative sex acts, but excludes penile-vaginal sex).[7][8][9][11] The concept of "technical virginity" or sexual abstinence through oral sex is popular among teenagers.[12][13] Additionally, gay males may regard oral sex as a way of maintaining their virginities, with penile-anal penetration defined as resulting in virginity loss, while other gay males may define oral sex as their main form of sexual activity.[7][14] By contrast, lesbian pairings commonly view oral sex or fingering as resulting in virginity loss, though definitions of virginity loss vary among lesbians as well.[7][10][15]
While commonly believed that lesbian sexual practices involve cunnilingus for all women who have sex with women (WSW), some have an aversion to cunnilingus due to not liking the experience or psychological or social factors, such as finding it unclean.[39][40][41][42] Other WSW believe that it is a necessity or largely defines lesbian sexual activity.[41][42] Lesbian couples are more likely to consider a woman's dislike of cunnilingus as a problem than heterosexual couples are, and it is common for them to seek therapy to overcome inhibitions regarding it.[41]

The surest way to not get a sexually transmitted infection from oral sex is to abstain from vaginal, anal, and oral sex or to be in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who has been tested and is known to be uninfected. However, many infected persons may be unaware of their infection because STIs often have no symptoms and are unrecognized.
This is a letter of success.. though not what I set out to succeed but success none the less. Christian never did get a second bj out of me because I dumped his sorry ass after him putting me down one time too often. I met a new guy in Arizona... and last night we had our third date - here at my house for swimming, dinner cooked by me and hang out.

Telling people you have HIV | Finding support | HIV and criminal law | Drug policy and policing | Money, benefits and housing | Employment | Religion and faith | Confidentiality, consent and medical ethics | Travel | End-of-life issues | Experiences of stigma | Discrimination and the law | Human rights | Combatting stigma | History of HIV and AIDS | People and personal stories | HIV in the arts and media
For oral sex on a man, use a condom during oral sex. For oral sex on a woman, or when performing anilingus on a man or a woman, use a dam. A dam is a small thin latex or plastic square that acts as a barrier between the vagina or anus and the mouth. It may prevent the spread of STIs. You can buy dams at some sexual health clinics, online or at your pharmacy. 
Drive him wild: Have your man lie on his stomach and give him a massage by doing light, karate-chop type movements along his sacrum. "Doing this not only stimulates those sacral nerves, but also triggers the parasympathetic nervous system which is key for relaxing, letting go, and having an orgasm," Michaels says. (Related: 7 Tips for a Better Orgasm)
People give various reasons for their dislike of oral sex.[1] Some state that since it does not result in reproduction, it is therefore unnatural.[37] Others find it less intimate because it is not a face-to-face practice,[1] or believe that it is a humiliating or unclean practice;[1][38] that it is humiliating or unclean are opinions that are, at least in some cases, connected with the symbolism attached to different parts of the body.[38] Opposite these views, people also believe that oral sex "is one of the most intimate behaviors that a couple can engage in because it requires total trust and vulnerability."[1]

^ Jump up to: a b c d See here and pages 47-49 for views on what constitutes virginity loss and therefore sexual intercourse or other sexual activity; source discusses how gay and lesbian individuals define virginity loss, and how the majority of researchers and heterosexuals define virginity loss/"technical virginity" by whether or not a person has engaged in penile-vaginal sex. Laura M. Carpenter (2005). Virginity Lost: An Intimate Portrait of First Sexual Experiences. NYU Press. pp. 295 pages. ISBN 0-8147-1652-0. Retrieved October 9, 2011.
This is a letter of success.. though not what I set out to succeed but success none the less. Christian never did get a second bj out of me because I dumped his sorry ass after him putting me down one time too often. I met a new guy in Arizona... and last night we had our third date - here at my house for swimming, dinner cooked by me and hang out.
10. A penis isn't a vagina or a Slip'N Slide and doesn't just get wet on its own. I mean there's pre-cum, but that's like a light rain shower when a proper BJ usually requires a torrential downpour. Either get some lube that doesn't taste like a takeout bag, or drink some water and be prepared to use all the spit you can muster. It's not gross. This is someone you make out with (probably).
The English noun fellatio comes from fellātus, which in Latin is the past participle of the verb fellāre, meaning to suck. In fellatio the -us is replaced by the -io; the declension stem ends in -ion-, which gives the suffix the form -ion (cf. French fellation). The -io(n) ending is used in English to create nouns from Latin adjectives and it can indicate a state or action wherein the Latin verb is being, or has been, performed.

Chlamydia, human papillomavirus (HPV), gonorrhea, herpes, hepatitis (multiple strains), and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs/STDs), can be transmitted through oral sex.[9][10][20] Any sexual exchange of bodily fluids with a person infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, poses a risk of infection. Risk of STI infection, however, is generally considered significantly lower for oral sex than for vaginal or anal sex, with HIV transmission considered the lowest risk with regard to oral sex.[10][11][21][22]
Lines like “it doesn’t mean we’ve had real sex – you’ll still be a virgin”, or “if you don’t want sex then you should at least go down on me”, or “it’s not as risky as having intercourse”, all suggest pressure and coercion. Remember that oral sex should be fun for both of you. If one person is doing it because they feel pressured, it can sour the whole experience.
The chance an HIV-negative person will get HIV from oral sex with an HIV-positive partner is extremely low. However, it is hard to know the exact risk because a lot of people who have oral sex also have anal or vaginal sex. The type of oral sex that may be the riskiest is mouth-to-penis oral sex. But the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex.
But which sex gives and gets the most is a bit of a buzzkill. Slightly more women than men (59% as opposed to 52%) reported giving oral sex to their partner. Unsurprisingly, more men than women (63% versus 44%) reported receiving oral sex. Men were also less likely to reciprocate after women went down on them, breaking a major rule of sexual etiquette: 26% of women and only 10% of men reported giving oral sex but not receiving it.
On the following pages, we identify the nooky positions that will increase your likelihood of having the best climax of your life. Some focus chiefly on your clitoris, others are great for G-spot gratification and still others are extraordinary for emotional intimacy — a climax clincher for many women. But with all of them, the secrets are in the subtleties. "I don't care if you're baking a cake, racing a car or making love," says Lou Paget, best-selling author of The Big O. "It's your attention to detail that takes it from so-so to over-the-top sensational." Hands down (and pants too), you'll find that these body bounces will push your buttons like never, ever before.
"Depth is definitely a plus for some guys, and with his partner’s legs over his arms or shoulders, missionary becomes a deeper position. But the greatest number of nerve endings on the penis is around the coronal ridge, colloquially known as the cock head; for this kind of stimulation, more pressure or tightness is a good idea. Try the missionary variant where his partner crosses her legs to add more pressure,” 

Bacterial vaginosis (vaginal inflammation caused by bacterial overgrowth) is easily spread from woman to woman, but HIV/AIDS is much less likely to be passed on this way, for example. If you’re a lesbian or bisexual woman who has had sex with men, you’re more at risk of the full range of STIs. Talk to your doctor about testing if you’re concerned you may be at risk.

Treatment: There is no cure for HPV infection, but 90% of persons clear the infection within 2 years. Genital warts can be removed through different methods, including freezing. Appropriate follow-up and treatment for genital and rectal HPV infections (detected by abnormal Pap smear and/or HPV test results) is essential for cancer prevention and detection.
Experts say the risk of contracting HIV/AIDS from an HIV-positive person during oral sex is extremely low, but it’s difficult to know exactly because people often participate in vaginal or anal sex at the same time as oral sex (which, when unprotected, both offer a much greater risk than oral sex). The form of oral sex posing the greatest risk is mouth-to-penis oral sex.
10. A penis isn't a vagina or a Slip'N Slide and doesn't just get wet on its own. I mean there's pre-cum, but that's like a light rain shower when a proper BJ usually requires a torrential downpour. Either get some lube that doesn't taste like a takeout bag, or drink some water and be prepared to use all the spit you can muster. It's not gross. This is someone you make out with (probably).
In terms of mastering the oral sex process, speed isn't the name of the game. “Trust me when I say that things will move a whole lot faster if you slow everything down,” says Morse. Take the time to get familiar with the female anatomy, which you can do using your eyes and your hands. “The clitoris, which is located above the vaginal opening, contains about 8,000 pleasure-packed nerve endings." Make it the area where you focus most of your attention.
A short-term way to address problems with orgasm involves stimulation of the penis with a vibrator or some other type of sex toy. However, to really make meaningful changes, a man may need to go through some form of sex therapy. Therapy usually involves "homework" in which a couple engages in sexual activities that reduce performance pressure and focus on pleasure.
Now don't get me wrong I love giving head I always have but it's very discouraging when you can't make your own husband cum! He is in the military and left for training for a couple weeks and I wanted to do something nice for him when he got home so I bought your book. My attitude has been shit for the past couple years because I've been so frustrated and I really worked on that and I think I did a pretty damn good job! When he came home I tried out your advice and not only did he cum he said it was the best head he's ever gotten and he said his orgasm was deeper and more intense than its ever been! I also had a lot of fun and enjoyed making him feel so good. So just wanted to say thanks, it really helped!
Nancy Friday's book, Men in Love – Men's Sexual Fantasies: The Triumph of Love over Rage, suggests that swallowing semen is high on a man's intimacy scale.[17] The man receiving fellatio receives direct sexual stimulation, while his partner may derive satisfaction from giving him pleasure. Giving and receiving fellatio may happen simultaneously in sex positions like 69 and daisy chain.
So many men bemoan the fact that women don’t feel more comfortable with sex, but then they turn around and slut-shame women. The shaming of female sexuality is horrifyingly pervasive, and it has serious consequences. If you want women to have sex with you, you have to make it safe for them to actually do so. Don’t degrade women by calling them names, objectifying their bodies, or disrespecting their boundaries.

We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off-limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto today’s topic: how men can be better sexual partners to women.
The author of the Kama Sutra states that it is also practiced by "unchaste women", but mentions that there are widespread traditional concerns about this being a degrading or unclean practice, with known practitioners being evaded as love partners in large parts of the country. The author appears to somewhat agree with these attitudes, claiming that "a wise man" should not engage in that form of intercourse while acknowledging that it can be appropriate in some unspecified cases.
Note: Certain things have been suggested to increase a person’s chances of getting HIV during oral sex, if exposed to an infected partner, such as having poor oral health, having bleeding gums or gum disease, having sores in the mouth or on the genitals, or being exposed to the “pre-cum” or “cum” (also known as pre-ejaculate or ejaculate) of an infected partner. However, no scientific studies have been done to show whether or not these factors actually do increase the risk of getting HIV or STI from oral sex.
It sounds intimidating, but the payoff is worth it. "Glance up at him just as you're about to take his penis as far into your mouth as you can, then maintain eye contact for a few strokes or the entire time," says Kait Scalisi, sex educator and founder of PassionbyKait.com. “This move is super intimate, as extended eye contact causes a release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, in both of you.”
If you're bent over him or looking up at him, that means your cleavage is also on display. You already know he loves them, so during oral try taking his penis in one hand and tracing it over and between your breasts. "It's a different sensation that may be fun to try," says Blaylock-Johnson. "Of course, depending on how large your breasts are, it may be fun to incorporate them." We'll bet any size breast is A-OK for your partner, though.
In terms of mastering the oral sex process, speed isn't the name of the game. “Trust me when I say that things will move a whole lot faster if you slow everything down,” says Morse. Take the time to get familiar with the female anatomy, which you can do using your eyes and your hands. “The clitoris, which is located above the vaginal opening, contains about 8,000 pleasure-packed nerve endings." Make it the area where you focus most of your attention.

Perhaps the most important aspect of Schlissel's sleuthing is that excerpts from West's obscenity trial and disturbingly the censor's accusations sound as troubling today as they did 80 years ago. The arguments used 80 years ago to ban Mae West's bon mots are not unlike those used today to bar gay and lesbian artists from public funding and public self-expression.
The trick here is getting the height right. The guy needs to be able to line up with the head without stretching or squatting. You can also try this oral sex position while lying on a dining room table or even a pool table. Remember, deep throating is a very advanced skill and won't be pleasurable or comfortable for everyone, so go slowly with exploring this position and make sure you're both enjoying it.
Expecting Payback – In the ideal world, every partner would selflessly provide their loved one with endless pleasure, never asking for anything in return. Of course, this a little unrealistic and unworkable in the real world. However, you should never see love making (or blow jobs!) as something you only do in order receive an equal amount of pleasure in return.

^ Jump up to: a b Bryan Strong, Christine DeVault, Theodore F. Cohen (2010). The Marriage and Family Experience: Intimate Relationship in a Changing Society. Cengage Learning. p. 186. ISBN 0-534-62425-1. Retrieved October 8, 2011. Most people agree that we maintain virginity as long as we refrain from sexual (vaginal) intercourse. But occasionally we hear people speak of 'technical virginity' [...] Data indicate that 'a very significant proportion of teens ha[ve] had experience with oral sex, even if they haven't had sexual intercourse, and may think of themselves as virgins' [...] Other research, especially research looking into virginity loss, reports that 35% of virgins, defined as people who have never engaged in vaginal intercourse, have nonetheless engaged in one or more other forms of heterosexual sexual activity (e.g., oral sex, anal sex, or mutual masturbation).


Dear Beloved Reader, we're going to be real with you. We're asking you to join our membership program so we can become fully financially sustainable (and you get some cool perks too!) With plummeting ad rates across the media industry, we're at an urgent risk of shutting down. And we don't want you to face Trump and his kind without the unique resources we provide. If everyone reading this only gave $12, we could raise enough money for the entire year in just one day. For the price of a single lunch out, you can help save us. We're an independent feminist media site, led entirely by people of color, and that pays everyone who writes for us. If Everyday Feminism has been useful to you, please take one minute to keep us publishing the articles you've come to rely on us for. Thank you! Click here to join!
"With this sex pose, a woman is really able to watch her man in action and one hundred percent surrender to the sensations," says Paget. The power of this position is that he gets to take complete control and show off like a stud while you lie back, relax and let yourself have some very intense G-spot pressure, says Paget, because your lower body is lifted up at a perfect angle for his penis to give you maximum penetration. Plus, it will double your pleasure: Besides putting your bod in a prime position for your guy to hit your most sizzling spot, you'll also be more open than ever to manually (and directly) stimulate yourself. This will heat up your hottest genital nerve systems (those around the clitoris and the G-spot) and hold them in harmony, so much so that you can have what Paget calls a blended orgasm.
So many men bemoan the fact that women don’t feel more comfortable with sex, but then they turn around and slut-shame women. The shaming of female sexuality is horrifyingly pervasive, and it has serious consequences. If you want women to have sex with you, you have to make it safe for them to actually do so. Don’t degrade women by calling them names, objectifying their bodies, or disrespecting their boundaries.
Along the same lines of not being bashful, Dr. Jill McDevitt, CalExotics’ Resident Sexologist, says it’s really important to spread the labia during cunnilingus. This way, your partner has the space to approach the clitoris from all angles and sides. “Typically, beginners are really bashful about this, but spread the labia wide, get in the folds, and sensation will improve.” This is also good to keep in mind when you’re receiving cunnilingus. Don’t be afraid to reach down and ~show yourself~ for your partner.
^ Ken Plummer (2002). Modern Homosexualities: Fragments of Lesbian and Gay Experiences. Routledge. pp. 1920–1921. ISBN 1134922426. Retrieved August 24, 2013. The social construction of 'sex' as vaginal intercourse affects how other forms of sexual activity are evaluated as sexually satisfying or arousing; in some cases whether an activity is seen as a sexual act at all. For example, unless a woman has been penetrated by a man's penis she is still technically a virgin even if she has had lots of sexual experience.

Believe it or not, sex can be more amazing for you just by slowing down. Amp up your orgasm by letting yourself get to the edge, slowing down and pausing, and then starting up again. And don’ t forget to breathe. Breathing naturally will speed up when we are about to orgasm. By letting yourself slow down and just simply breathe, you’ll control our orgasm. That’ll ultimately make it even stronger. 

×