A short-term way to address problems with orgasm involves stimulation of the penis with a vibrator or some other type of sex toy. However, to really make meaningful changes, a man may need to go through some form of sex therapy. Therapy usually involves "homework" in which a couple engages in sexual activities that reduce performance pressure and focus on pleasure.
It sounds intimidating, but the payoff is worth it. "Glance up at him just as you're about to take his penis as far into your mouth as you can, then maintain eye contact for a few strokes or the entire time," says Kait Scalisi, sex educator and founder of PassionbyKait.com. “This move is super intimate, as extended eye contact causes a release of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, in both of you.”
Try this: Overstreet suggests kissing your partner across his shoulder, up his neck, and stopping right before you hit his ear. Do this to both sides, because asymmetry is for the lazy. When he’s right about to lose it, start kissing his earlobe, and use your tongue to bring his earlobe into your mouth. Play around with gentle nibbles, tongue, etc. Be careful not to touch any other part of his body while doing this and see how wild he gets from you just touching his earlobes.
Along the same lines of not being bashful, Dr. Jill McDevitt, CalExotics’ Resident Sexologist, says it’s really important to spread the labia during cunnilingus. This way, your partner has the space to approach the clitoris from all angles and sides. “Typically, beginners are really bashful about this, but spread the labia wide, get in the folds, and sensation will improve.” This is also good to keep in mind when you’re receiving cunnilingus. Don’t be afraid to reach down and ~show yourself~ for your partner.
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No two penises (or guys) are alike — which means that every man will have different specific turn-ons. Don't rely on tricks that you used on other penises in the past. Ask your partner what he likes while you're trying new things — more pressure? More suction? There's no better way to give him a mind-blowing O than to give him exactly what he likes.
^ Ken Plummer (2002). Modern Homosexualities: Fragments of Lesbian and Gay Experiences. Routledge. pp. 187–191. ISBN 1134922426. Retrieved August 24, 2013. The social construction of 'sex' as vaginal intercourse affects how other forms of sexual activity are evaluated as sexually satisfying or arousing; in some cases whether an activity is seen as a sexual act at all. For example, unless a woman has been penetrated by a man's penis she is still technically a virgin even if she has had lots of sexual experience.
So many men bemoan the fact that women don’t feel more comfortable with sex, but then they turn around and slut-shame women. The shaming of female sexuality is horrifyingly pervasive, and it has serious consequences. If you want women to have sex with you, you have to make it safe for them to actually do so. Don’t degrade women by calling them names, objectifying their bodies, or disrespecting their boundaries.
Tanya's Deep-throat Manifesto, my co-author and friend Tanya J., a former adult film star, teaches you the ins and outs of deep-throating like a pro – killing your gag-reflex has never been this easy. Believe it or not – mastering the art of deep-throating is your one way ticket to a loving relationship. Once you go "all in" he'll never view you the same again.
My Special Advanced Edition is NOT for beginners. This is what takes your already good blowjob skills to the next level – it's like having a PhD in Blowjobology. Even the most skilled porn stars and professionals have a thing or two to learn here. I was a bit reluctant to release this to the public as it can give women an unfair advantage over other women (and have her steal a man under another woman's nose) – please use these skills in an ethical manner.
You and your man should be facing each other on your sides, superclose together, says Paget. Raise your upper leg and help him to slide inside you, then drape the leg over his and tight around it. "Try to arrange it so that your feet are braced against a wall or footboard," she advises. "That way, you can use the strength in your feet, legs and toes to give you the action you want." If you tend to get tense before climaxing, this is the perfect move to do as you peak upward. "Some women require a form of strong muscular contraction to get to that next level of stimulation that leads to orgasm," says Paget. "The side-by-side allows you to have that firm, full-body contraction while staying in motion." Adjust the coital fit of his entry by tensing or relaxing your thighs together. You'll hug his trunk, stimulating the inner walls of your entire vagina; by relaxing your legs and opening them somewhat, he'll have a bigger range of motion, which can help you get intense clitoral titillation en route to your climax.