Now don't get me wrong I love giving head I always have but it's very discouraging when you can't make your own husband cum! He is in the military and left for training for a couple weeks and I wanted to do something nice for him when he got home so I bought your book. My attitude has been shit for the past couple years because I've been so frustrated and I really worked on that and I think I did a pretty damn good job! When he came home I tried out your advice and not only did he cum he said it was the best head he's ever gotten and he said his orgasm was deeper and more intense than its ever been! I also had a lot of fun and enjoyed making him feel so good. So just wanted to say thanks, it really helped!
When was the last time you had sex with just your hands? What are your first thoughts when this question is posed? Many women haven't brought a man fully to climax with just their hands since high school or college. Some think it "doesn't count as sex." Others are simply at a loss, claiming they don't know how. Or, you might think a man can do that all on his own, so why would you bother?
You can kiss his penis any way you want, but it will be a lot easier when you use your hand to hold it in place while you kiss it. There are multiple different ways to kiss his penis, from giving him small, quick ‘pecks’, to giving him longer, more intense kisses. He’ll especially love it if you give him extra wet, sloppy kisses. Don’t be surprised if you can see precum or semen dripping from his cock at this stage.
Q: This is a rather general question, but I was wondering if you could write about how men can be good sexual partners for women. I have had several relationships end because the guy didn’t seem like he could be a partner in creating a healthy sex life. I know I’m not going to be sexually compatible with every guy I meet, but it seems like so many guys out there are selfish or disrespectful when it comes to sex.
Cultural views on oral sex range from aversion to high regard.[1] It, especially fellatio,[34] has been considered taboo, or at least discouraged, in many cultures and parts of the world.[1] Laws of some jurisdictions regard oral sex as penetrative sex for the purposes of sexual offenses with regard to the act, but most countries do not have laws which ban the practice itself, in contrast to anal sex or extramarital sex.
That said, sometimes it’s a special occasion and your partner may want to try a position that is extra-awesome for you. Whether it’s your birthday, anniversary, or you got a promotion at work, sometimes they just want to do something special just for you. And who are you to say no? While this may mean an opportunity to try something previously off limits (like a threesome), it can also mean that rare treat.

The chance an HIV-negative person will get HIV from oral sex with an HIV-positive partner is extremely low. However, it is hard to know the exact risk because a lot of people who have oral sex also have anal or vaginal sex. The type of oral sex that may be the riskiest is mouth-to-penis oral sex. But the risk is still very low, and much lower than with anal or vaginal sex.


This decision is entirely up to you. There's nothing wrong with you if you don't want to, but it's nice to let your partner know it's nothing personal. If you don't want to swallow, and you aren’t familiar with the signs of imminent ejaculation, let him know you want a warning. Remove your mouth as he's about to ejaculate, and continue hand stroking through his orgasm.
In terms of mastering the oral sex process, speed isn't the name of the game. “Trust me when I say that things will move a whole lot faster if you slow everything down,” says Morse. Take the time to get familiar with the female anatomy, which you can do using your eyes and your hands. “The clitoris, which is located above the vaginal opening, contains about 8,000 pleasure-packed nerve endings." Make it the area where you focus most of your attention.
13. Your hands can pinch hit when your mouth needs some time on the bench. The average penis is 5.17 inches (when hard). I haven't measured the inside of my mouth, but I am pretty damn sure there aren't 5.17 inches of space between my lips and the back of my throat. And no way do I recommend going for broke and shoving a penis down your esophagus. Let your hands help. Put the tip in your mouth and your hands around the base, and voilà. This is within the acceptable rules of play.
"Talk to them! Ask them if they like what you're doing, ask them what they want. Have an open conversation and keep that conversation going throughout the sexual experience. But most importantly, don't do anything you aren't comfortable with. You should always feel comfortable enough with anyone you're having any type of sex with to talk openly about your personal limits."

If fellatio and/or cunnilingus become a regular part of your routine, either can seem ho hum after a while—just as any other sex act can get when it becomes your go-to pleasure move. Luckily there are many variations to cunnilingus and fellatio. If you’re in a rut, try it on all fours, up against the wall, or in the 69 position, for example. Just like with intercourse, experimenting with new positions may crank up your chances of orgasm.
Dirty Texts & Sexting – While your man is at work or is just out of the house, try sending him some dirty texts, letting him know about what’s on your mind and what you are planning for later. It can be something filthy like, “I can wait to feel you explode in my mouth tonight.” Or it can be something a little more reserved like, “Can’t wait to see you later…and my lips can’t wait either ;)” Or you can describe in detail the blow job tip you’ve just learned and are going to perform on him.
We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off-limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto today’s topic: how men can be better sexual partners to women.
Once you give yourself permission to explore new ways of touching him, begin noticing his reactions. Pay exquisite attention to his responses. How does he respond when you touch ever so lightly around the head of his penis? Do faster or slower strokes peak his interest? Can you tell when he is really into it? What happens to his breathing? Does he make sounds to let you know when it feels good? By paying attention you'll gain valuable information about your lover's patterns of arousal and will be proficient in giving him pleasure. 
Along the same lines of not being bashful, Dr. Jill McDevitt, CalExotics’ Resident Sexologist, says it’s really important to spread the labia during cunnilingus. This way, your partner has the space to approach the clitoris from all angles and sides. “Typically, beginners are really bashful about this, but spread the labia wide, get in the folds, and sensation will improve.” This is also good to keep in mind when you’re receiving cunnilingus. Don’t be afraid to reach down and ~show yourself~ for your partner.
^ Jump up to: a b c d See here and pages 47-49 for views on what constitutes virginity loss and therefore sexual intercourse or other sexual activity; source discusses how gay and lesbian individuals define virginity loss, and how the majority of researchers and heterosexuals define virginity loss/"technical virginity" by whether or not a person has engaged in penile-vaginal sex. Laura M. Carpenter (2005). Virginity Lost: An Intimate Portrait of First Sexual Experiences. NYU Press. pp. 295 pages. ISBN 0-8147-1652-0. Retrieved October 9, 2011.
Oral sex is a highly intimate sex act. Many people find oral sex to be way more intimate than intercourse. Perhaps this is because oral sex triggers a lot of feelings of vulnerability, and it's emotionally intense to let someone so close to your most sensitive parts. Yet, oral sex remains as one of the most pleasurable and orgasmic sex acts there is, so learning how to enjoy it fully—either giving or receiving—is an essential step in loving your sex life and making sure it’s as wonderful as it can be.

There are a whole bunch of places on his body (besides the shaft of his penis!) that are supersensitive and can lead to a mind-blowing experience. For starters, work the area around his penis — his balls, obviously, the scrotum, and the perineum (that place between his balls and his butt). Feel free to let your hands roam over other sensitive areas around his body, too — like behind his knees, his butt, and his inner thighs.
But which sex gives and gets the most is a bit of a buzzkill. Slightly more women than men (59% as opposed to 52%) reported giving oral sex to their partner. Unsurprisingly, more men than women (63% versus 44%) reported receiving oral sex. Men were also less likely to reciprocate after women went down on them, breaking a major rule of sexual etiquette: 26% of women and only 10% of men reported giving oral sex but not receiving it.
Oral sex is commonly used as a means of preserving virginity, especially among heterosexual pairings; this is sometimes termed technical virginity (which additionally includes anal sex, mutual masturbation and other non-penetrative sex acts, but excludes penile-vaginal sex).[12][13][14][37] The concept of "technical virginity" or sexual abstinence through oral sex is particularly popular among teenagers,[14][23][38] including with regard to teenage girls who not only fellate their boyfriends to preserve their virginities, but also to create and maintain intimacy or to avoid pregnancy.[14] Other reasons given for the practice among teenage girls are peer-group pressure and as their introduction to sexual activity.[14] Additionally, gay males may regard fellatio as a way of maintaining their virginities, with penile-anal penetration defined as resulting in virginity loss, while other gay males may define fellatio as their main form of sexual activity.[12][15]

you are my best friend, you are my knight in shinning armor, i frickin' LOVE you!!!!! my sex life has never been better!! honestly, i doubted the whole "he will even start shaking" part, but dam was i wrong!!! he just started shouting "YEAA!! F**K YEAAAHHH!! OH MY F**KING GOD!!! YES! YES! YES!" which is a miracle all in itself because hes christian and ive never heard him say the word f**k and 'god' in the same sentence.
Another study in The New England Journal of Medicine suggests a correlation between oral sex and throat cancer. It is believed that this is due to the transmission of HPV, a virus that has been implicated in the majority of cervical cancers and which has been detected in throat cancer tissue in numerous studies. The study concludes that people who had one to five oral sex partners in their lifetime had approximately a doubled risk of throat cancer compared with those who never engaged in this activity and those with more than five oral sex partners had a 250 percent increased risk.[29][30]

Resolution and refraction After ejaculation, the penis begins to lose its erection. About half of the erection is lost immediately, and the rest fades soon after. Muscle tension fades, and the man may feel relaxed or drowsy, according to Ingber. Men usually must undergo a refractory period, or recovery phase, during which they cannot achieve another erection. This period is variable in men, says Ingber. In an 18-year-old, this is typically less than 15 minutes. In elderly men, it can be up to 10 to 20 hours. The average refractory period is about half an hour. Men differ from women in that men usually are satiated after one orgasm. Women can experience more than one orgasm with no loss of sexual arousal, and do not have to undergo a refractory period.
Try this: Have him lay on his back while you straddle him and give him what he really wants: a view of your scalp as you make your way down on him. Starting from his belly button, use your fingers and nails to trace a line down from his happy trail stopping before you hit total groin. Then retrace your steps, but use your tongue to trace a “V” shape from his hips to right above his penis. Draw it out and really tease him until he can’t take it any longer.

If you’ve ever given a man oral sex and wondered about the potential health risks of swollowing his semen (assuming he’s free of sexually transmitted infections and the Zika virus, that is), rest easy; there's no evidence it can cause any harm. Some studies have even suggested that exposure to semen offers strange health benefits—like a reduced likelihood of preeclampsia or depression.
Your hands are sensitive, dexterous, and capable of giving your man intense pleasure and powerful climaxes. With a little skill and confidence, you can fully satisfy your man and leave him feeling saturated with pleasure. Let's face it, sometimes the idea of intercourse or oral sex is too much. But you may be turned on enough to kiss, cuddle, and give your man a fabulous orgasm with your hands!
Trust and communication are essential here. The man must exercise enough self-control to keep the thrusting comfortable and pleasurable for his lover, while the receiver must stay relaxed and receptive enough to receive the thrusts. If you want to try irrumatio, we recommend having a hand signal in place to communicate if the thrusts ever get too deep or too fast. This oral sex position can be wildly thrilling for both partners if done with respect and awareness.

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