You probably already know this, and science backs it up. In one 2016 study, nearly 70% of women described receiving oral as "very pleasurable." This could be because of the direct clitoral stimulation oral offers. A third of women said that they need this kind of touching to reach climax, according to research published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy from 2017.
How to find it: The sacrum is the triangular bone located at the base of his spine in between his hips (think: the small of his back). There are nerves in the sacrum that are linked to the genitals, so stimulating these nerves can send sensations to his manly parts. In fact, some studies show that electrical stimulation of these nerves can trigger orgasm.
His Shaft: No, I’m not talking that empty space you can look out to from your bathroom window but rather his genitals. For something extra special, form two rings with your thumb and index fingers placing one at the end and one on the head and move them in opposite directions meeting in the middle. Start slow, go faster and slow down again, and close your eyes… a pinky eye is not becoming on anyone!
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There are about 5,000 things you can do with your tongue, and they don't all feel good for everyone. For example, my roommate and I have both encountered people who try to "tongue fuck" us, meaning they attempt to stick their tongue into our vaginas. And neither of us has ever been impressed with that move. "Because the vagina doesn't have all the sensitive pleasure-receptive nerve endings the clitoris does, whatever the tongue is doing to the vaginal entrance or canal may not be all it's cracked up to be," says Sadie Allison, PhD, founder of sex toy boutique TickleKitty.com and author of Tickle His Pickle – Your Hands-on Guide to Penis Pleasing. But some people really love being tongue-penetrated. "Some people enjoy the thought of their partner tasting them, eating the body juices, or the closeness of swapping fluids," says Rosara Torrisi, PhD, an AASECT certified sex therapist and the founder of the Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy. Putting pressure on the vaginal opening can be erotic, as well. As always, the sexy-factor of tongue penetration is dependent on the preferences of the person being tongued.
Lack Of Variation – An obvious, but often forgotten blow job “don’t” is a lack of variation. Just like performing the same tasks over and over at the office make for a dull, boring workday, this is also the case for your sex life. In fact studies have shown that while both men and women enjoy new sexual experiences, men have a higher preference for new and exciting sexual stimulation, so why not give it to him!
Try this: Have him lay on his back while you straddle him and give him what he really wants: a view of your scalp as you make your way down on him. Starting from his belly button, use your fingers and nails to trace a line down from his happy trail stopping before you hit total groin. Then retrace your steps, but use your tongue to trace a “V” shape from his hips to right above his penis. Draw it out and really tease him until he can’t take it any longer.
But now the good news! Other people have literally already been there, done that, and can help you get over your own pre-BJ woes. Whether you're preparing for your first for thousandth blow job, there are always new lessons to be learned. Especially when it comes to dick-in-mouth. Here are 24 pieces of sage guidance that all grown women wish they'd known before giving their first blow jobs.
Note: Certain things have been suggested to increase a person’s chances of getting HIV during oral sex, if exposed to an infected partner, such as having poor oral health, having bleeding gums or gum disease, having sores in the mouth or on the genitals, or being exposed to the “pre-cum” or “cum” (also known as pre-ejaculate or ejaculate) of an infected partner. However, no scientific studies have been done to show whether or not these factors actually do increase the risk of getting HIV or STI from oral sex.
Resolution and refraction After ejaculation, the penis begins to lose its erection. About half of the erection is lost immediately, and the rest fades soon after. Muscle tension fades, and the man may feel relaxed or drowsy, according to Ingber. Men usually must undergo a refractory period, or recovery phase, during which they cannot achieve another erection. This period is variable in men, says Ingber. In an 18-year-old, this is typically less than 15 minutes. In elderly men, it can be up to 10 to 20 hours. The average refractory period is about half an hour. Men differ from women in that men usually are satiated after one orgasm. Women can experience more than one orgasm with no loss of sexual arousal, and do not have to undergo a refractory period.
You may have heard that eating foods like pineapple can change the taste of your vagina. And while published studies on this topic don't seem to exist (unsurprisingly), anecdotal evidence lends support to the idea that pineapple can make a difference. In 2017, Alyssa Dweck, MD, a New York–based ob-gyn and co-author of The Complete A to Z for Your V, told Health that her patients have said they definitely notice a change "in a good way" after eating pineapple.
Oral sex should be limited to the protected areas. A makeshift dental dam can be made out of a condom or a latex or nitrile glove, but using a real dental dam is seen as preferable; this is because real dental dams cover a larger area, avoid accidents caused by "slipping" outside the covered area, and avoid the risk that makeshift versions may be accidentally damaged or poked with the scissors during the cutting procedure. Plastic wrap may also be used as a barrier during oral sex, but there exists no conclusive scientific research regarding how effective it may or may not be at preventing disease transmission. Certain kinds of plastic wrap are manufactured to be microwaveable and are designed to have pores that open when heated, but there also exists no scientific research on what effect, if any, this has on disease transmission when used during oral sex. Some people complain that the thickness of the plastic dulls sensation.
Drive him wild: "If you're with a man who enjoys this, start by stroking around the aureole and gently tweaking the nipple with your fingers," Cavanah says. "Lick around it and suck on it, increasing pressure and gently biting it. Nipples can be twisted and pulled to great effect, too." She also suggests trying a pair of nipple clamps when he's really turned on. It will keep blood flow in the area, increasing sensitivity and keeping them at attention. Or try sucking on an ice cube and then sucking on his nipples. "The contraction of his nipples due to the cold can heighten the sensations," Michaels says.
Other slang terms for oral sex include going down on (male or female), licking out and muff diving (female), blow job (male), dome (male or female), sucking off (male), playing the skin flute (male recipient), rolling cigars (male recipient), lolly-gagging (gay male-on-male), gaining knowledge (male recipient) and bust down (male). Forced fellatio is often called Egyptian rape or simply Egyptian; this goes back to the time of the Crusades when Mamluks were alleged to force their Christian captives to do this.
Hey Sean, so I just met this guy about a couple weeks ago. But instead of taking things slow like we had planned, we can’t help already wanting to take the next step in our relationship. I’ve never had sex before, and I want to impress him and keep him interested in me, having it be my first time. Can you please help give me some tips on my first time of having sex to keep him interested in me. Please!
All of this pressure women feel around our bodies affects our enjoyment of sex. It’s hard to be in the moment when you’re worried about your stomach looking flabby or ashamed of the way your genitals taste. There’s no way to understand what it’s like to be a woman if you aren’t one, but I bring up this issue because being sensitive about this can help men be better partners to women. Men aren’t responsible for making women feel more self-confident, but you can help her feel more comfortable in the moment. Tell her the specific things you love about her body. Compliment her during the most vulnerable moments, like when you’re taking off her clothes or moving down between her legs. Let her know that the way she tastes and smells turns you on.
Try this: Give him a lipstick blowjob — AKA where you brush your closed but relaxed lips against the head of his penis, like you’re applying lipstick. Hold his shaft with your fingers, but not in a fist (avoid holding his penis like a microphone, but do approach it with the same blind confidence of a mediocre stand up act). Keesling suggests varying the sensations by opening your mouth a bit and rubbing his head between them.
Great lovers are made, not born! This is a point that I bring up time and time again. So many people expect sex to be effortless, but it rarely works that way in the real world. Just like any other skill, being good in bed takes time, practice, and education. There are so many topics to learn about, including sexual health, STI and pregnancy prevention, sexual technique, and communication.
After massaging him for a few minutes, help him take off his trousers and briefs. Then just keep doing what you were doing, running your hands over his manhood. If you like, you can also softly trace your fingers up and down his dick and around his balls. If you want to learn more hand job techniques, then make sure to check out the Hand Job Guide here.
Despite what you may have seen in porn, you shouldn’t feel like you have to immediately jam his entire penis down your throat (or even at all). "Gagging takes you both out of the moment, and you and he will enjoy oral sex much more when you're both having fun," says Marsh. You can achieve a similar sensation by gripping the base of his shaft, and moving your hand and mouth in a rhythmic motion. (Flavored lube will make this a lot easier.)