We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off-limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto today’s topic: how men can be better sexual partners to women.
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We all know the classic 69 position, but very few people can actually reach orgasm in this position. One of the greatest things about oral sex is taking turns. One person gets to totally relax and receive, and the other person can focus on giving as much pleasure as possible. 69 can be really distracting, and most people just end up moaning and gasping rather than focusing on giving.
Blow his freakin' mind and detract minutes from the amount of time his D is in your M by teasing your partner, pre-blow job. Getting him all worked up by kissing his hips and thighs feels great for him, and if you know your partner takes a bit longer to finish from oral, this might speed things up a bit. Not that there's anything wrong with taking your time! But sometimes you need to put oral sex on the express track. And there's nothing wrong with that either.
Oral sex should be limited to the protected areas. A makeshift dental dam can be made out of a condom[22] or a latex or nitrile glove,[23] but using a real dental dam is seen as preferable; this is because real dental dams cover a larger area, avoid accidents caused by "slipping" outside the covered area, and avoid the risk that makeshift versions may be accidentally damaged or poked with the scissors during the cutting procedure. Plastic wrap may also be used as a barrier during oral sex, but there exists no conclusive scientific research regarding how effective it may or may not be at preventing disease transmission. Certain kinds of plastic wrap are manufactured to be microwaveable and are designed to have pores that open when heated, but there also exists no scientific research on what effect, if any, this has on disease transmission when used during oral sex.[24] Some people complain that the thickness of the plastic dulls sensation.
Reynu joined WomenNow from the beginning on. She loves writing and combines this with her love for India, the country her parents emigrated from to the United States looking for a better life and opportunities. Studying litterature and journalism helped laid the foundation for her writing skills. She is into badminton and an avid runner. Her dream is to live between New York and Mumbai.
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Bacterial vaginosis (vaginal inflammation caused by bacterial overgrowth) is easily spread from woman to woman, but HIV/AIDS is much less likely to be passed on this way, for example. If you’re a lesbian or bisexual woman who has had sex with men, you’re more at risk of the full range of STIs. Talk to your doctor about testing if you’re concerned you may be at risk.
Reynu joined WomenNow from the beginning on. She loves writing and combines this with her love for India, the country her parents emigrated from to the United States looking for a better life and opportunities. Studying litterature and journalism helped laid the foundation for her writing skills. She is into badminton and an avid runner. Her dream is to live between New York and Mumbai.
Although these sexually transmitted infections usually manifest in the genital area, they can also appear in the mouth and throat. “I have seen infections in which people think they have strep throat and they go to the student health center,” says Dr. Rosser. “When they test positive for chlamydia or gonorrhea, they have to come to me for treatment.” Curing either bacterial STI usually entails a course of antibiotics.

Learn to Suck Him Better


You may have heard that eating foods like pineapple can change the taste of your vagina. And while published studies on this topic don't seem to exist (unsurprisingly), anecdotal evidence lends support to the idea that pineapple can make a difference. In 2017, Alyssa Dweck, MD, a New York–based ob-gyn and co-author of The Complete A to Z for Your V, told Health that her patients have said they definitely notice a change "in a good way" after eating pineapple.
Books are an easy way to jump-start your own sex ed. The Big Bang by Nerve is a great entry-level primer to all things sex. She Comes First by Ian Kerner is an incredible book about refining your oral sex technique. Check out some books about sex positions or female orgasm. These are all fun topics to brush up on, so this shouldn’t ever feel like a chore!
Lines like “it doesn’t mean we’ve had real sex – you’ll still be a virgin”, or “if you don’t want sex then you should at least go down on me”, or “it’s not as risky as having intercourse”, all suggest pressure and coercion. Remember that oral sex should be fun for both of you. If one person is doing it because they feel pressured, it can sour the whole experience.
Try this: Have your partner take his shirt off and lay on his stomach with his arms by his side. Hot tip: keep his pants on, but pull them down a few inches for a tantalizing never-nude experience ;). Lightly run your fingers and or anxiety-ravaged cuticles down across his lower back, stopping before you hit ass cheek. Do not pass ‘Go’, collect $200, or go past his crack.
Combining oral stimulation and hand job techniques will drive him crazy. The easy way is to simply grab his penis and massage it up and down like you would normally do when you give him a hand job. If you feel like adventurous, you can wander about and softly massage their testicles and/or prostate (ask him if he’s ok though) while have him in your mouth.
In Ancient Rome, fellatio was considered profoundly taboo.[35] Sexual acts were generally seen through the prism of submission and control. This is apparent in the two Latin words for the act: irrumare (to penetrate orally), and fellare (to be penetrated orally). Under this system, it was considered to be abhorrent for a male to perform fellatio, since that would mean that he was penetrated (controlled), whereas receiving fellatio from a woman or another man of lower social status (such as a slave or debtor) was not humiliating. The Romans regarded oral sex as being far more shameful than, for example, anal sex – known practitioners were supposed to have foul breath and were often unwelcome as guests at a dinner table.[35]
Bacterial vaginosis (vaginal inflammation caused by bacterial overgrowth) is easily spread from woman to woman, but HIV/AIDS is much less likely to be passed on this way, for example. If you’re a lesbian or bisexual woman who has had sex with men, you’re more at risk of the full range of STIs. Talk to your doctor about testing if you’re concerned you may be at risk.
Oral Herpes: You can transmit oral herpes to your partner's genital. In fact, HSV-1 (the type that causes cold sores) may be even more contagious than HSV-2 (the type associated with genital herpes). In general, performing oral sex on a woman is safer than performing oral sex on a man. However, herpes transmission in both directions is a real risk.
Plateau The male body prepares for orgasm in this phase, which can last from 30 seconds to 2 minutes. Muscle tension increases even more and involuntary body movements, particularly in the pelvis, begin to take over. The man's heart rate increases to between 150 and 175 beats per minute, says Ingber. A clear fluid may begin to flow from the urethra. This pre-ejaculatory fluid is meant to change the pH balance of the urethra, to improve the chances of sperm survival.

Another study in The New England Journal of Medicine suggests a correlation between oral sex and throat cancer. It is believed that this is due to the transmission of HPV, a virus that has been implicated in the majority of cervical cancers and which has been detected in throat cancer tissue in numerous studies. The study concludes that people who had one to five oral sex partners in their lifetime had approximately a doubled risk of throat cancer compared with those who never engaged in this activity and those with more than five oral sex partners had a 250 percent increased risk.[29][30]


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Links have been reported between oral sex and oral cancer with human papillomavirus (HPV)-infected people. In 2005, a research study at Malmö University's Faculty of Odontology suggested that performing unprotected oral sex on a person infected with HPV might increase the risk of oral cancer. The study found that 36 percent of the cancer patients had HPV compared to only 1 percent of the healthy control group.

To Control – Using sex as a weapon and method for controlling your man is a recipe for disaster. If you start withholding sex to try to get your husband to do something, then both of you are going to develop a negative attitude towards all things sex very quickly. Equally, promising to give him a blow job only if he does this or that is going to foster an unhealthy situation for your sex life.
When using condoms you can put extra lube on before the condom and hold the base of his penis to keep it in place during the blowjob. I use a tongue swirling action when the condom is on with a little extra force and the feeling is pretty good for my bf. Also a condom gives me less worry about teeth. My bf likes a little teeth, but I always worry about being too rough, especially when I’m really turned on.
The Nipples: Bursting full of nerve endings, the nipples are always a great way to turn him on without actually giving him anything. After a good kiss, and before you go down on him, pause at the nipples and lick, suck and bite on them (very, very softly, please, I don’t want to end up in a court case named ‘Bitten-Off Nipple vs Buonasorte’). Also, don’t forget that there are two nipples and not just one.
Too Much Variation! – So you’ve bookmarked the Bad Girls Bible and read it every day to learn new sex positions (check out over 100 different sex positions with illustrations in the Sex Positions Guide here), blow job tips and how to talk dirty (read the Dirty Talking Guide here). Everyday you’re learning more and more sex tips to try on your man to give him powerful orgasms. You may think that you should try something completely new on him every day while forgetting about the blow job tips that you’ve previously used to pleasure him.
Drive him wild: Have your man lie on his stomach and give him a massage by doing light, karate-chop type movements along his sacrum. "Doing this not only stimulates those sacral nerves, but also triggers the parasympathetic nervous system which is key for relaxing, letting go, and having an orgasm," Michaels says. (Related: 7 Tips for a Better Orgasm)
To Control – Using sex as a weapon and method for controlling your man is a recipe for disaster. If you start withholding sex to try to get your husband to do something, then both of you are going to develop a negative attitude towards all things sex very quickly. Equally, promising to give him a blow job only if he does this or that is going to foster an unhealthy situation for your sex life.
Gear up, girls, because we've got the sex-expert scoop on how to erotically update five already stellar positions so that they provide even more bliss to your bods. Many of our passion poses might sound familiar at first, but we've put a special orgasmic spin on them all that'll supersize your pleasure peaks and have you and your guy grinning like satisfied frisky fools.
5. And speaking of that: It probably feels nothing at all like you think it does. Unless you also have a penis and have received a blow job before, the best you can do is merely speculate what getting one feels like. All you need to know is that men tend to describe them favorably, or as one guy eloquently puts it: "If sex is putting your penis in a wet, unplugged vacuum ... a blow job is plugging that vacuum in." So put all those worries that it doesn't feel good out of your mind. Assuredly, he's into it.
There are a whole bunch of places on his body (besides the shaft of his penis!) that are supersensitive and can lead to a mind-blowing experience. For starters, work the area around his penis — his balls, obviously, the scrotum, and the perineum (that place between his balls and his butt). Feel free to let your hands roam over other sensitive areas around his body, too — like behind his knees, his butt, and his inner thighs.
16. Penises that look small and non-menacing sometimes feel like novelty-sized pool noodles when they are inside of your mouth. Oh, it looked like a pinky finger from afar, but now that it's in your mouth, it's like one of those little toys that grows when you put it in water. What's happening in there? Who knows. Maybe we're all overestimating the size of our mouth holes.
That said, sometimes it’s a special occasion and your partner may want to try a position that is extra-awesome for you. Whether it’s your birthday, anniversary, or you got a promotion at work, sometimes they just want to do something special just for you. And who are you to say no? While this may mean an opportunity to try something previously off limits (like a threesome), it can also mean that rare treat.
Q: This is a rather general question, but I was wondering if you could write about how men can be good sexual partners for women. I have had several relationships end because the guy didn’t seem like he could be a partner in creating a healthy sex life. I know I’m not going to be sexually compatible with every guy I meet, but it seems like so many guys out there are selfish or disrespectful when it comes to sex.
For oral sex on a man, use a condom during oral sex. For oral sex on a woman, or when performing anilingus on a man or a woman, use a dam. A dam is a small thin latex or plastic square that acts as a barrier between the vagina or anus and the mouth. It may prevent the spread of STIs. You can buy dams at some sexual health clinics, online or at your pharmacy. 

Try this: reverse finger job. Make two tight rings around his penis with your thumb and index finger (like you’re doing the okay hand symbol 👌), stacking them one on top of the other, in the middle of his shaft. Twist the rings in opposite directions moving from middle to the top and base of his shaft at the same time. Cox calls this a “torrid twist” the the typical one-handed uppy-downey handy. Remember to use lube, though!
All of this pressure women feel around our bodies affects our enjoyment of sex. It’s hard to be in the moment when you’re worried about your stomach looking flabby or ashamed of the way your genitals taste. There’s no way to understand what it’s like to be a woman if you aren’t one, but I bring up this issue because being sensitive about this can help men be better partners to women. Men aren’t responsible for making women feel more self-confident, but you can help her feel more comfortable in the moment. Tell her the specific things you love about her body. Compliment her during the most vulnerable moments, like when you’re taking off her clothes or moving down between her legs. Let her know that the way she tastes and smells turns you on.
As someone who was sexually abused throughout most of my childhood, I’ve been reluctant to give head because of the flashbacks. I’ve been reading your blog for a few days now, and I feel confident in knowing more techniques to try out on my partner that are 100% different from all that bad stuff. In the twelve years since I’ve escaped, I’ve never felt so confident to try this out with my partner, so THANK YOU! I’m sure he will enjoy it too!
Let women make their own decisions, and respect their choices. Keep your judgments to yourself (or better yet, take some time to examine why you’re making any judgments in the first place). A good rule of thumb: Don’t treat a woman in a way that you wouldn’t want another man to treat your mom or sister. This is obviously a huge topic (oh man, the rant that I could go on right now!), but the bottom line is this: We can all contribute to a healthier, happier, more sex-positive world by simply respecting each other. That’s not so hard, is it?
Many STDs can be spread through oral sex. However, it is difficult to compare the exact risks of getting specific STDs from specific types of sexual activity. This is partly because most people who have oral sex also have vaginal or anal sex. Also, few studies have looked at the risks of getting STDs other than HIV from giving oral sex on the vagina or anus, compared to giving oral sex on the penis.

Oral sex, sometimes referred to as oral intercourse, is sexual activity involving the stimulation of the genitalia of a person by another person using the mouth (including the lips, tongue or teeth) or throat. Cunnilingus is oral sex performed on female genitals, while fellatio is oral sex performed on a penis.[1][2] Anilingus, another form of oral sex, is oral stimulation of a person's anus.[1] Oral stimulation of other parts of the body (as in kissing and licking) is usually not considered oral sex.

The trick here is getting the height right. The guy needs to be able to line up with the head without stretching or squatting. You can also try this oral sex position while lying on a dining room table or even a pool table. Remember, deep throating is a very advanced skill and won't be pleasurable or comfortable for everyone, so go slowly with exploring this position and make sure you're both enjoying it.
While there's no male equivalent for the queening position, men deserve to feel like royalty, too. Receiving oral sex while seated in a comfortable chair, his lover kneeling in front of him, is perhaps the closest men can feel to sitting on a throne. Make it even more special by allowing him to watch a sports game, porn or another video of choice. Or put a special drink in his hand, or light a cigar before going down.

Oral sex is often regarded as taboo,[1] but most countries do not have laws which ban the practice. Commonly, people do not regard oral sex as affecting the virginity of either partner, though opinions on the matter vary.[7][8][9][10] People may also have negative feelings or sexual inhibitions about giving or receiving oral sex, or may flatly refuse to engage in the practice.[1]


Some babes crave one thing and one thing only... and that is to get on their knees and suck cock. At Youporn.com, you will find yourself almost overwhelmed by the selection of sexy blowjob porn videos dedicated to BJ scenes. There are a number of beautiful sirens all too happy to be filmed while giving the best hummers imaginable. From tight bodied co-eds to long-haired Latinas with big sexy mouths, your fantasies will take over you as you witness these bad girls addicted to cum. From the moment they get their first taste of warm jazz flowing down their throats, they are hooked to the taste and become obsessed with pleasuring as many cocks as possible. They soon become expert cocksuckers, all too happy when their boyfriend comes home from work or when they have to use their dirty mouths to get exactly what they want. These blowjob goddesses are some of the horniest women you will ever feast your eyes on as they are overwhelmed with multiple dicks slapping against their faces. They aren’t satisfied until they get face-fucked and have a chance to deep-throat blowjob a hard dick in a full-length sex clip.
Drive him wild: "Gently flicking the raphe with your tongue feels great to most men," Cavanah says. "Let him guide you on how much pressure he likes, because the amount varies depending on the guy." To get him really hot, sip on very warm tea and then flick your heated tongue over this sensitive area. He'll lose himself in the new feelings, and novelty can make for more powerful orgasms.  
12. You don't have to swallow and then giggle and say, "OMG, it's so fun to swallow your hot steamy cum, I really love it a lot!" Also, you just don't have to swallow at all. The man whose dick you're sucking is not going to scream and holler at you if you demurely dispose of his cum into a napkin or cup or something. He might get a little upset if you spit it directly onto his face, but that's really just between the two of you.
Probably the worst thing you can do, pre-blow job, is underestimate your own abilities. Be confident! You're better at this than you think you are, and most guys are grateful that you ventured south at all. If you're truly nervous, tell your partner about it. And if that's off the table, talk about with some female friends. They've definitely been nervous, too. Talking it out can help, big time.
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