When I first read your book I had never given a bj and I was extremely nervous and I had no idea what to do. Your advice helped me soooooo much I was so confident. My boyfriend actually asked if I was lying to him when I told him he was the first. None of the other stuff about this I found were as encouraging as yours and I couldn't belive how excited I was to give head. Now I do it all the time for my boyfriend and he adores me for it! One time I even did it while he was driving he loved it! Anyway I just wanted to thank you. Honestly your advice was so much help I you helped strengthen my relationship! Any girl who gives head, whether they are a beginer or a pro, they should check your book out. Thanks again!


Semen ingestion has had central importance in some cultures around the world. In Baruya culture, there is a secret ritual in which boys give fellatio to young males and drink their semen, to "re-engender themselves before marriage".[34] Among the Sambia people of Papua New Guinea, beginning at age seven all males regularly submit to oral penetration by adolescents in a six-stage initiation process, as the Sambia believe that regular ingestion of an older boy's semen is necessary for a prepubescent youth to achieve sexual maturity and masculinity. By the time he enters mid-puberty he in turn participates in passing his semen on to younger males.[35][36]
In terms of mastering the oral sex process, speed isn't the name of the game. “Trust me when I say that things will move a whole lot faster if you slow everything down,” says Morse. Take the time to get familiar with the female anatomy, which you can do using your eyes and your hands. “The clitoris, which is located above the vaginal opening, contains about 8,000 pleasure-packed nerve endings." Make it the area where you focus most of your attention.
Social stigma seems to focus on the taste of women’s genitals more than men’s. In fact, men can smell and taste just as strong as women. If you're new to fellatio, you might be worried about taste and smell. If so, suggest a sexy bath or shower together and start with a clean slate. While the artificial tastes may be no better (and can be much worse) some people like to use flavored lubricant or put on a flavored condom, which may not taste better but comes with the added benefit of making oral sex a bit safer.
To Control – Using sex as a weapon and method for controlling your man is a recipe for disaster. If you start withholding sex to try to get your husband to do something, then both of you are going to develop a negative attitude towards all things sex very quickly. Equally, promising to give him a blow job only if he does this or that is going to foster an unhealthy situation for your sex life.
You already know how sensitive your boyfriend’s penis is, especially the underside of head (aka the glans) [7]. For pleasuring it, this is obviously a good thing…but if you apply too much pressure, or you are too rough with it, then you’re going to hurt your man. It’s the same for your clit and vagina if you are masturbating or your man is going down on you. Learn some orgasmic masturbation techniques from Chapter 2 of our Masturbation Guide.
To Control – Using sex as a weapon and method for controlling your man is a recipe for disaster. If you start withholding sex to try to get your husband to do something, then both of you are going to develop a negative attitude towards all things sex very quickly. Equally, promising to give him a blow job only if he does this or that is going to foster an unhealthy situation for your sex life.

Note: Certain things have been suggested to increase a person’s chances of getting HIV during oral sex, if exposed to an infected partner, such as having poor oral health, having bleeding gums or gum disease, having sores in the mouth or on the genitals, or being exposed to the “pre-cum” or “cum” (also known as pre-ejaculate or ejaculate) of an infected partner. However, no scientific studies have been done to show whether or not these factors actually do increase the risk of getting HIV or STI from oral sex.

A: Thanks for your question! I love talking about the nitty-gritty, but I welcome the opportunity to talk about larger topics, too. I’m all about creating a more sex-positive world, and it’s important to talk about how we can all contribute to that. Of course, I have to give the caveat that not all men approach sex the same way. That being said, there are some broad patterns I have noticed in my work with men and straight couples.

Oral Sex

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