Lack Of Variation – An obvious, but often forgotten blow job “don’t” is a lack of variation. Just like performing the same tasks over and over at the office make for a dull, boring workday, this is also the case for your sex life. In fact studies have shown that while both men and women enjoy new sexual experiences, men have a higher preference for new and exciting sexual stimulation, so why not give it to him!
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i have found your information very useful, to be honest i have never actually given head before. i wanted some information to get me started and i think this has been really useful. i have talking to my guy about this for a little while now and this has given me more confidence. enthusiasm is the key! i really want to pleasure him, does it feel any different for the man with or without a condom on? should i be using a condom for my first time? is it better to use the flavored lube or condoms for the first time? should i make any eye contact while giving the blow job or will it make it awkward? i dont fancy the idea of swallowing so do i just tell him that before we get started? your information has been really helpful so far but answering this questions would be fantastic! thanks
It’s one of the most intimate and private acts a couple can enjoy—which may be why there’s so much mystery and misinformation surrounding oral sex. And while indulging in this once-taboo sexual activity (it used to be a punishable offense in some states, amazingly) can be a healthy part of any romantic relationship, there are definitely some things to keep in mind.
It doesn’t matter how memorable your oral skills may be — if your partner is distracted or stuck in her head, she is not going to be able to enjoy herself. “Oral sex offers an interesting paradox; many women love it yet it can find it so challenging to relax into the moment. This is why so many women tense up when their partner goes down," says Dr. Emily Morse, host of the Sex With Emily podcast and author of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight. "The best thing you can say to a woman is, ‘Relax, I’ve got all night.' " Since women can worry about whether you want to be down there and may be self-conscious about how long it takes them to get off, a quick reassurance will go a long way.
The trick here is getting the height right. The guy needs to be able to line up with the head without stretching or squatting. You can also try this oral sex position while lying on a dining room table or even a pool table. Remember, deep throating is a very advanced skill and won't be pleasurable or comfortable for everyone, so go slowly with exploring this position and make sure you're both enjoying it.
Each new partner does not come with an instruction manual, and you can’t always count on your partner to tell you exactly what she wants in the moment. If you’re looking for a hint or two to help you figure out what is working and what isn’t, you’ll have to rely on the next best thing: Her nonverbal cues. “Even if your partner is not a big moaner, her body will tell you everything you need to know," says Morse. Some signs to look for include quicker breathing, her body becoming flushed, a more engorged clitoris, more vaginal lubrication, and her thrusting her pelvis closer to you. "If all else fails, you can always ask her if she likes something or not — just be sure to phrase it in a sexy way so it sounds more like dirty talk than a request for feedback,” says Morse.
We all know the classic 69 position, but very few people can actually reach orgasm in this position. One of the greatest things about oral sex is taking turns. One person gets to totally relax and receive, and the other person can focus on giving as much pleasure as possible. 69 can be really distracting, and most people just end up moaning and gasping rather than focusing on giving.
Many men consider blow jobs as a crucial element of their sex life and they wouldn’t imagine a life without it. What will undoubtedly turn him on is to show him you want it as much as he does. Kiss him on the lips and slowly go down on him, caress him and feel him get hard. Show him that you are confident, that you know what you are doing and that you’re sure he’ll come back for more.
“I talk about this with patients almost every day in my practice,” says Mary Rosser, MD, assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Columbia University Medical College. “Of course, I’m usually the one who’s bringing it up. Not many women want to or think to ask about it.” That may be because oral sex still has kind of a risque reputation to it, even though it's a pretty standard part of a typical couple's sexual repertoire.
Q: This is a rather general question, but I was wondering if you could write about how men can be good sexual partners for women. I have had several relationships end because the guy didn’t seem like he could be a partner in creating a healthy sex life. I know I’m not going to be sexually compatible with every guy I meet, but it seems like so many guys out there are selfish or disrespectful when it comes to sex.
To Control – Using sex as a weapon and method for controlling your man is a recipe for disaster. If you start withholding sex to try to get your husband to do something, then both of you are going to develop a negative attitude towards all things sex very quickly. Equally, promising to give him a blow job only if he does this or that is going to foster an unhealthy situation for your sex life.
While male nipples are basically the same as human nipples, they might even be more sensitive than yours since guys aren’t used to having them touched so often. "For a lot of men, their nipples are uncharted territory — an erogenous zone they haven't experimented with," explains Patti Britton, PhD, a Los Angeles-based clinical sexologist and author of the The Complete Idiot's Guide to Sensual Massage. Touch them, however, and you'll send shock waves of pleasure radiating through him, she adds.
But now the good news! Other people have literally already been there, done that, and can help you get over your own pre-BJ woes. Whether you're preparing for your first for thousandth blow job, there are always new lessons to be learned. Especially when it comes to dick-in-mouth. Here are 24 pieces of sage guidance that all grown women wish they'd known before giving their first blow jobs.
All of this pressure women feel around our bodies affects our enjoyment of sex. It’s hard to be in the moment when you’re worried about your stomach looking flabby or ashamed of the way your genitals taste. There’s no way to understand what it’s like to be a woman if you aren’t one, but I bring up this issue because being sensitive about this can help men be better partners to women. Men aren’t responsible for making women feel more self-confident, but you can help her feel more comfortable in the moment. Tell her the specific things you love about her body. Compliment her during the most vulnerable moments, like when you’re taking off her clothes or moving down between her legs. Let her know that the way she tastes and smells turns you on.
Women should pay attention to how their vagina feels during and after oral sex, says Dr. Rosser, and make sure that it’s not being irritated by scratchy facial hair or a too-enthusiastic tongue, for example. Oral sex can also alter a woman’s natural pH, at least temporarily, but her body will usually self-regulate and bring things back to normal fairly quickly, before an infection can set in.
Try this: reverse finger job. Make two tight rings around his penis with your thumb and index finger (like you’re doing the okay hand symbol 👌), stacking them one on top of the other, in the middle of his shaft. Twist the rings in opposite directions moving from middle to the top and base of his shaft at the same time. Cox calls this a “torrid twist” the the typical one-handed uppy-downey handy. Remember to use lube, though!
Using your hands first, gently caress his inner thighs, penis, scrotum, testicles, and perineum, paying attention to his reactions (verbal and facial) as you touch certain spots. Many men who have sensitivity in their penis are particularly sensitive around the head (known as the glans), especially the frenulum, an indentation between the glans and the shaft on the underside of the penis. You might want to brush up on your knowledge of male sexual anatomy, to know what you’re working with.
Fellatio (also known as fellation, and in slang as blowjob, BJ, giving head, or sucking off) is an oral sex act involving the use of the mouth or throat, which is usually performed by a person on the penis of another person. If performed on oneself, the act is called autofellatio. Oral stimulation of the scrotum may also be termed fellatio, or colloquially as teabagging.
16. Penises that look small and non-menacing sometimes feel like novelty-sized pool noodles when they are inside of your mouth. Oh, it looked like a pinky finger from afar, but now that it's in your mouth, it's like one of those little toys that grows when you put it in water. What's happening in there? Who knows. Maybe we're all overestimating the size of our mouth holes.
Perhaps the most important aspect of Schlissel's sleuthing is that excerpts from West's obscenity trial and disturbingly the censor's accusations sound as troubling today as they did 80 years ago. The arguments used 80 years ago to ban Mae West's bon mots are not unlike those used today to bar gay and lesbian artists from public funding and public self-expression.
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Don’t be fooled by the term “oral sex” — your mouth doesn’t have to carry the full burden of her pleasure. “Your tongue is great, don’t get me wrong, but you’ve got two other tools at your disposal that can really help to bring her home: Your hands. You can easily bring your fingers into play while you give your mouth a break," says Morse. "And it doesn’t stop there: A lot of women really enjoy a bit of manual stimulation during cunnilingus,” says Morse. Doing so can even help her orgasm faster.
The other factor that makes a big difference to the potential risk of HIV transmission from oral sex is the viral load of the person living with HIV. Viral load is the term used to describe the amount of HIV in a sample of body fluid. People living with HIV have the viral load in their blood measured regularly, as part of routine health monitoring.
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So, your special night of you-fun may mean an extra-special blowjob — and there’s no doubt that’s special! — or that being the night you try something kinkier, like role-play, for the first time. That’s great. It may also be the time you go for anal sex, or try sex in the shower or car sex, or somewhere more adventurous. That can be super fun as well. But it doesn’t end there.
Social stigma seems to focus on the taste of women’s genitals more than men’s. In fact, men can smell and taste just as strong as women. If you're new to fellatio, you might be worried about taste and smell. If so, suggest a sexy bath or shower together and start with a clean slate. While the artificial tastes may be no better (and can be much worse) some people like to use flavored lubricant or put on a flavored condom, which may not taste better but comes with the added benefit of making oral sex a bit safer.
While you’ll discover a rhythm that works best with each partner, there are some great routes to take your experimentation while finding the geography of touch that works for you. “While licking, sucking, and massaging your partner’s clitoris with your tongue, try inserting one or two fingers into her vagina," says Morse. "With your palm facing up, employ a come hither motion with your digits in order to stimulate her G-spot (which is usually located on the upper wall of her vagina, about 2 inches in)." While you're doing this, sync it up with the motions of your tongue to help heighten her pleasure (and give her a stronger orgasm). You can also bring a small, easy-to-handle clitoral vibrator into the mix, like the We-Vibe Touch.
The Blowjob Heaven Atmosphere. How you handle his brain is as important as how you handle his penis. You'll learn exactly how to build up sexual tension and anticipation by creating an erotic, relaxing, and unique atmosphere. Use this to capture his complete and undivided attention (every time). This "fit for Kings" treatment is what makes him put a diamond ring on your finger.
Hey Sean, so I just met this guy about a couple weeks ago. But instead of taking things slow like we had planned, we can’t help already wanting to take the next step in our relationship. I’ve never had sex before, and I want to impress him and keep him interested in me, having it be my first time. Can you please help give me some tips on my first time of having sex to keep him interested in me. Please!
Don’t forget the rest of his body. The scrotum and testicles (balls) are particularly sensitive, and most men like them to be stimulated. Try lightly licking or touching his testicles during oral sex. He might also like them to be cradled gently in one of your hands. Some men go wild when you place your hand around the top of the scrotum and gently tug down.
Many STDs can be spread through oral sex. However, it is difficult to compare the exact risks of getting specific STDs from specific types of sexual activity. This is partly because most people who have oral sex also have vaginal or anal sex. Also, few studies have looked at the risks of getting STDs other than HIV from giving oral sex on the vagina or anus, compared to giving oral sex on the penis.
The author of the Kama Sutra states that it is also practiced by "unchaste women", but mentions that there are widespread traditional concerns about this being a degrading or unclean practice, with known practitioners being evaded as love partners in large parts of the country. The author appears to somewhat agree with these attitudes, claiming that "a wise man" should not engage in that form of intercourse while acknowledging that it can be appropriate in some unspecified cases.
Links have been reported between oral sex and oral cancer with human papillomavirus (HPV)-infected people. A 2005 research study suggested that performing unprotected oral sex on a person infected with HPV might increase the risk of oral cancer. The study found that 36 percent of the cancer patients had HPV compared to only 1 percent of the healthy control group.
The Sultry Sidewinder allows you the sort of languishing, leisurely pace that, in the end, packs a real punch. (Slow and steady can win the climax race!) "Orgasms that result from a long, slow buildup are frequently much stronger than those that are achieved with fast and intense stimulation," explains Stubbs. "By savoring every single sensation, you're able to achieve a higher level of pleasure in the end." (Think of it like a getting-it-on gearshift — if you go straight from first to fifth, you get a quick drop-off, but if you go from first to second and so forth, your erotic engine will be humming by the time you get there.) Plus, this side-by-side setup is great for intimacy, which can sometimes get lost in the shuffle and storminess of sex. All the eye contact, kissing and closeness of this position will drive your slow climb to orgasm.
Treatment: There is no cure for HPV infection, but 90% of persons clear the infection within 2 years. Genital warts can be removed through different methods, including freezing. Appropriate follow-up and treatment for genital and rectal HPV infections (detected by abnormal Pap smear and/or HPV test results) is essential for cancer prevention and detection.
Fellatio is legal in most countries. Laws of some jurisdictions regard fellatio as penetrative sex for the purposes of sexual offenses with regard to the act, but most countries do not have laws which ban the practice, in contrast to anal sex or extramarital sex. In Islamic literature, the only forms of sexual activity that are consistently explicitly prohibited within marriage are anal sex and sexual activity during menstrual cycles. However, the exact attitude towards oral sex is a subject of disagreements between modern scholars of Islam. Authorities considering it "objectionable" do so because of the penis's supposedly impure fluids coming in contact with the mouth. Others emphasize that there is no decisive evidence to forbid oral sex.
If you are sexually active, you should get tested regularly for STDs and HIV and talk to your partner(s) about STDs. If you think you might have an STD, stop having sex and visit your doctor or clinic to get tested. There are free and low-cost options for testing in your area. It is important that you talk openly with your health care provider about any activities that might put you at risk for an STD, including oral sex.
Now don't get me wrong I love giving head I always have but it's very discouraging when you can't make your own husband cum! He is in the military and left for training for a couple weeks and I wanted to do something nice for him when he got home so I bought your book. My attitude has been shit for the past couple years because I've been so frustrated and I really worked on that and I think I did a pretty damn good job! When he came home I tried out your advice and not only did he cum he said it was the best head he's ever gotten and he said his orgasm was deeper and more intense than its ever been! I also had a lot of fun and enjoyed making him feel so good. So just wanted to say thanks, it really helped!
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^ Jump up to: a b Tan, Min; Gareth Jones; Guangjian Zhu; Jianping Ye; Tiyu Hong; Shanyi Zhou; Shuyi Zhang; Libiao Zhang (October 28, 2009). Hosken, David, ed. "Fellatio by Fruit Bats Prolongs Copulation Time". PLoS ONE. 4 (10): e7595. Bibcode:2009PLoSO...4.7595T. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0007595. PMC 2762080. PMID 19862320. Retrieved October 28, 2009.