We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off-limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto today’s topic: how men can be better sexual partners to women.
The Ancient Indian Kama Sutra, dating from the first century AD, describes oral sex,[44] discussing fellatio in great detail (the Kama Sutra has a chapter on auparishtaka (or oparishtaka), "mouth congress")[45] and only briefly mentioning cunnilingus. However, according to the Kama Sutra, fellatio is above all a characteristic of eunuchs (or, according to other translations, of effeminate homosexuals or transwomen similar to the modern Hijra of India), who use their mouths as a substitute for female genitalia.
If you’re happy and comfortable with the person you’re with then oral sex can be a great way to get physically closer and learn what turns each other on. But remember that you can pause or stop at any point you want, and the same is true for your partner. Just because you have started something doesn’t mean you need to continue – stopping is actually very normal.
Option 1 is that you leave and do nothing to improve your sex life. You may think blowjobs are not that important for a relationship's success... and that's OK, but pray a Blowjob Queen never puts her lips around your man's penis. Or your relationship may fall apart like a house of cards in a thunderstorm. I'm a guy and I know how men think – we are sexual, hedonistic creatures and we will always choose better sex if we have the option. Why risk it or worry about it when you can have a carefree, loving relationship?

Otherwise, my blowjob advice is completely unconventional and unusual. It has helped tens of thousands of women become Masters of oral sex, so I don't see why it wouldn't work for you, too. For most of my blowjob graduates – simply applying 2 or 3 of my tips instantly supercharged their results, and they didn't even apply 5% of my advice. It's crazy that a few simple changes in your technique can instantly take your blowjobs to the next level.
We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off-limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Now, onto today’s topic: how men can be better sexual partners to women.
Experts say the risk of contracting HIV/AIDS from an HIV-positive person during oral sex is extremely low, but it’s difficult to know exactly because people often participate in vaginal or anal sex at the same time as oral sex (which, when unprotected, both offer a much greater risk than oral sex). The form of oral sex posing the greatest risk is mouth-to-penis oral sex.
In all positions, their pleasure threshold is partially dependent on, simply, what we may be most into. For this one, his ass is accessible to her for full anal and/or prostate play. He gets to enjoy a whole new angle of penetration while also having access to her feet if he's into a little foot/shrimping play. “She lies flat on her back. He mounts her in the reverse and lies flat on top of her with his head at her feet. He inserts his erect penis into her vagina by scooting back towards her,” says Dr. Kat.  


Much like men do when the roles are reversed, your partner wants to feel like you are having a good time down there. Otherwise she will start to feel self-conscious and immediately tense up, making it way less likely that she’ll be able to orgasm. “I’m not saying you need to take it to porn star levels of enjoyment, but a few well-timed 'mmms' and some sultry eye contact could be just the thing to send your partner into another world of pleasure,” says Morse.


Act One opens in a theatre in a small Midwest town. The scrubwomen are finishing up cleaning the theatre, looting scraps left from previous performances and gossiping. The crew comes in and begins to set up for a Vaudeville performance. Steve eagerly waits for the performers to arrive. Paradise arrives first with Edgar and their boys. Paradise describes their act and Edgar goes over music cues with The Leader. Terrill then arrives with his Japanese Valet and he begins to flirt with Bobby. Flo comes in as Bobby leaves and Terrill flirts with her as well and speaks of letters that he supposedly sent her in the past. Steve comes back in and warns Terrill to knock off his old ways or he will be thrown out. Steve then warns the dancers of Terrill and begins to assign dressing rooms. Randall and Dolores arrive and as Randall works out some issues with Steve, Terrill confesses his love to Dolores. Dolores worries that Randall will find out about them. Randall and Dolores find out that their electrician doesn't have a union card, which evolves into them arguing about the suspicion Randall has over Dolores and Terrill. The Otto brothers arrive and are missing one of their partners. Stanley agrees to help with their act as he used to be an acrobat himself. The act ends with Arnold fiddling with lights and Randall starting to rehearse with Dolores and the dancers.
Try this: Give him a lipstick blowjob — AKA where you brush your closed but relaxed lips against the head of his penis, like you’re applying lipstick. Hold his shaft with your fingers, but not in a fist (avoid holding his penis like a microphone, but do approach it with the same blind confidence of a mediocre stand up act). Keesling suggests varying the sensations by opening your mouth a bit and rubbing his head between them.
So many men bemoan the fact that women don’t feel more comfortable with sex, but then they turn around and slut-shame women. The shaming of female sexuality is horrifyingly pervasive, and it has serious consequences. If you want women to have sex with you, you have to make it safe for them to actually do so. Don’t degrade women by calling them names, objectifying their bodies, or disrespecting their boundaries.

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Tanya's Deep-throat Manifesto, my co-author and friend Tanya J., a former adult film star, teaches you the ins and outs of deep-throating like a pro – killing your gag-reflex has never been this easy. Believe it or not – mastering the art of deep-throating is your one way ticket to a loving relationship. Once you go "all in" he'll never view you the same again.
On the other hand, you don’t want to get so invested in making her feel good that you wind up pressuring her to orgasm. It’s great to want to make her orgasm, but don’t make her feel like she needs to orgasm. Many women are sensitive to feeling pressured in the bedroom, but orgasm is impossible when it feels like an expectation. Her pleasure should be important to you simply because you want her to feel good, not because you want to boost your ego.
It may be surprising to hear, but men love foreplay to be drawn out significantly longer more than most women think[3]. So, while giving him a quickie BJ can be super hot for both of you (like say sneaking away for a few minutes at a party), you’ll find that a slow, teasing build up is going to result in your man blowing a bigger load[4]…and a bigger smile on his face. This is probably the most powerful, but also the most overlooked blow job tip you can learn. With this in mind, here are a bunch of great “fellatio foreplay” tips that you can use before giving your man head:

But now the good news! Other people have literally already been there, done that, and can help you get over your own pre-BJ woes. Whether you're preparing for your first for thousandth blow job, there are always new lessons to be learned. Especially when it comes to dick-in-mouth. Here are 24 pieces of sage guidance that all grown women wish they'd known before giving their first blow jobs.
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^ Ken Plummer (2002). Modern Homosexualities: Fragments of Lesbian and Gay Experiences. Routledge. pp. 1920–1921. ISBN 1134922426. Retrieved August 24, 2013. The social construction of 'sex' as vaginal intercourse affects how other forms of sexual activity are evaluated as sexually satisfying or arousing; in some cases whether an activity is seen as a sexual act at all. For example, unless a woman has been penetrated by a man's penis she is still technically a virgin even if she has had lots of sexual experience.
Try this: Have him lay on his back while you straddle him and give him what he really wants: a view of your scalp as you make your way down on him. Starting from his belly button, use your fingers and nails to trace a line down from his happy trail stopping before you hit total groin. Then retrace your steps, but use your tongue to trace a “V” shape from his hips to right above his penis. Draw it out and really tease him until he can’t take it any longer.
It doesn’t matter how memorable your oral skills may be — if your partner is distracted or stuck in her head, she is not going to be able to enjoy herself. “Oral sex offers an interesting paradox; many women love it yet it can find it so challenging to relax into the moment. This is why so many women tense up when their partner goes down," says Dr. Emily Morse, host of the Sex With Emily podcast and author of Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight. "The best thing you can say to a woman is, ‘Relax, I’ve got all night.' " Since women can worry about whether you want to be down there and may be self-conscious about how long it takes them to get off, a quick reassurance will go a long way.
Combining oral stimulation and hand job techniques will drive him crazy. The easy way is to simply grab his penis and massage it up and down like you would normally do when you give him a hand job. If you feel like adventurous, you can wander about and softly massage their testicles and/or prostate (ask him if he’s ok though) while have him in your mouth.

I love giving my boyfriend blow jobs and telling him how much I love it. I do it all the time for no reason in the car when he picks me up from work or by waking him up to be intimate. He loves it.. I probably do it 3 times a week or so. BECAUSE I WANT TO!!! It helps when you want to see your boyfriend go crazy and orgasm and just lose his mind over you. It’s healthy and important for your sex life. It turns me on to turn him on. I never knew the under the tip was so sensitive I lick that a lot when going down on him but i never knew that it felt so good, I’m gonna keep doing it. I learned a few new tricks, this was useful.


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Sexually active individuals should get tested regularly for STIs and HIV, and talk to all partner(s) about STIs. Anyone who thinks that he/she might have an STI should stop having sex and visit a doctor or clinic to get tested. There are free and low-cost options for testing available. It is important to talk openly with a health care provider about any activities that might put a person at risk for an STI, including oral sex.

Best Oral Sex Teaching

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