Q: This is a rather general question, but I was wondering if you could write about how men can be good sexual partners for women. I have had several relationships end because the guy didn’t seem like he could be a partner in creating a healthy sex life. I know I’m not going to be sexually compatible with every guy I meet, but it seems like so many guys out there are selfish or disrespectful when it comes to sex.
Tanya's Deep-throat Manifesto, my co-author and friend Tanya J., a former adult film star, teaches you the ins and outs of deep-throating like a pro – killing your gag-reflex has never been this easy. Believe it or not – mastering the art of deep-throating is your one way ticket to a loving relationship. Once you go "all in" he'll never view you the same again.
How to find it: The sacrum is the triangular bone located at the base of his spine in between his hips (think: the small of his back). There are nerves in the sacrum that are linked to the genitals, so stimulating these nerves can send sensations to his manly parts. In fact, some studies show that electrical stimulation of these nerves can trigger orgasm.

How to find it: "Men have a relatively higher concentration of nerve endings in the soles of their feet than women do," says Mark Michaels, coauthor of Partners in Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy, and Long-Term Love. "There is an acupressure point about one-third of the way down from the third toe, right in front of the arch in the center of the foot." Nicknamed the "bubbling spring," pressing on this point may boost blood flow throughout the body, getting him all hot and bothered.
It may be surprising to hear, but men love foreplay to be drawn out significantly longer more than most women think[3]. So, while giving him a quickie BJ can be super hot for both of you (like say sneaking away for a few minutes at a party), you’ll find that a slow, teasing build up is going to result in your man blowing a bigger load[4]…and a bigger smile on his face. This is probably the most powerful, but also the most overlooked blow job tip you can learn. With this in mind, here are a bunch of great “fellatio foreplay” tips that you can use before giving your man head:
Tanya's Deep-throat Manifesto, my co-author and friend Tanya J., a former adult film star, teaches you the ins and outs of deep-throating like a pro – killing your gag-reflex has never been this easy. Believe it or not – mastering the art of deep-throating is your one way ticket to a loving relationship. Once you go "all in" he'll never view you the same again. 

Note: Certain things have been suggested to increase a person’s chances of getting HIV during oral sex, if exposed to an infected partner, such as having poor oral health, having bleeding gums or gum disease, having sores in the mouth or on the genitals, or being exposed to the “pre-cum” or “cum” (also known as pre-ejaculate or ejaculate) of an infected partner. However, no scientific studies have been done to show whether or not these factors actually do increase the risk of getting HIV or STI from oral sex.

Oral sex is common among sexually active adults. According to a national survey conducted from June 2006 through December 2008, over 80% of sexually active youth and adults ages 15-44 years reported having had oral sex at least once with a partner of the opposite sex. The same survey found that 45% or more of teenage girls and boys (ages 15-19 years) report having had oral sex with a partner of the opposite sex.
Other slang terms for oral sex include going down on (male or female), licking out and muff diving (female), blow job (male), dome (male or female), sucking off (male), playing the skin flute (male recipient), rolling cigars (male recipient), lolly-gagging (gay male-on-male), gaining knowledge (male recipient) and bust down (male). Forced fellatio is often called Egyptian rape or simply Egyptian; this goes back to the time of the Crusades when Mamluks were alleged to force their Christian captives to do this.[44]

Perhaps the most important aspect of Schlissel's sleuthing is that excerpts from West's obscenity trial and disturbingly the censor's accusations sound as troubling today as they did 80 years ago. The arguments used 80 years ago to ban Mae West's bon mots are not unlike those used today to bar gay and lesbian artists from public funding and public self-expression.
Arousal The man perceives something or someone that prompts sexual interest. That perception prompts the brain to send a signal down the spinal cord to the sex organs, causing an erection. The penis becomes erect when blood fills spongy tissue inside its shaft, brought by arteries that have expanded to allow blood to race in at up to 50 times its normal speed. The veins in the penis that normally drain blood out squeeze shut so that more blood remains inside, producing a firm erection. The scrotum pulls toward the body, and muscles throughout the body increase in tension.
The sexy views of doggy style and (especially) reverse cowgirl can be great for ass men, who get to view (and touch) the ass as much as they like.  “When physical limitations do not intrude, there’s also a lot to be said for the excitement of lifting his partner up (legs around his waist for stability, and up against a wall for even more stability),” says Queen. 

Flying foxes have been observed engaging in oral sex.[57] Indian flying fox males will lick a female's vulva both before and after copulation, with the length of pre-copulation cunnilingus positively correlated with length of copulation.[58] The fruit bat Cynopterus sphinx, has been observed to engage in fellatio during mating. Pairs spend more time copulating if the female licks the male than if she does not.[56][59] Male Livingstone's fruit bats have been observed engaging in homosexual fellatio, although it is unknown if this is an example of sexual behavior or social grooming.[60] Bonin flying foxes also engage in homosexual fellatio, but the behavior has been observed independently of social grooming.[57]
Flying foxes have been observed engaging in oral sex.[57] Indian flying fox males will lick a female's vulva both before and after copulation, with the length of pre-copulation cunnilingus positively correlated with length of copulation.[58] The fruit bat Cynopterus sphinx, has been observed to engage in fellatio during mating. Pairs spend more time copulating if the female licks the male than if she does not.[56][59] Male Livingstone's fruit bats have been observed engaging in homosexual fellatio, although it is unknown if this is an example of sexual behavior or social grooming.[60] Bonin flying foxes also engage in homosexual fellatio, but the behavior has been observed independently of social grooming.[57]
This is a letter of success.. though not what I set out to succeed but success none the less. Christian never did get a second bj out of me because I dumped his sorry ass after him putting me down one time too often. I met a new guy in Arizona... and last night we had our third date - here at my house for swimming, dinner cooked by me and hang out.
Dear Beloved Reader, we're going to be real with you. We're asking you to join our membership program so we can become fully financially sustainable (and you get some cool perks too!) With plummeting ad rates across the media industry, we're at an urgent risk of shutting down. And we don't want you to face Trump and his kind without the unique resources we provide. If everyone reading this only gave $12, we could raise enough money for the entire year in just one day. For the price of a single lunch out, you can help save us. We're an independent feminist media site, led entirely by people of color, and that pays everyone who writes for us. If Everyday Feminism has been useful to you, please take one minute to keep us publishing the articles you've come to rely on us for. Thank you! Click here to join!
But now the good news! Other people have literally already been there, done that, and can help you get over your own pre-BJ woes. Whether you're preparing for your first for thousandth blow job, there are always new lessons to be learned. Especially when it comes to dick-in-mouth. Here are 24 pieces of sage guidance that all grown women wish they'd known before giving their first blow jobs.
Bacterial vaginosis (vaginal inflammation caused by bacterial overgrowth) is easily spread from woman to woman, but HIV/AIDS is much less likely to be passed on this way, for example. If you’re a lesbian or bisexual woman who has had sex with men, you’re more at risk of the full range of STIs. Talk to your doctor about testing if you’re concerned you may be at risk.
So why not give it a try? You've got nothing to lose. Order my program today, quickly learn my blowjob secrets, and see for yourself how your guy treats you like a Queen. Suddenly he treats you like a drop of water in the desert, making all your wishes his top priority. My program is responsible for making thousands upon thousands of men propose. Don't believe a word I say. Just read some of the reports I get from my blowjob graduates and how their love life transformed after making his blowjob dreams come true.
Books are an easy way to jump-start your own sex ed. The Big Bang by Nerve is a great entry-level primer to all things sex. She Comes First by Ian Kerner is an incredible book about refining your oral sex technique. Check out some books about sex positions or female orgasm. These are all fun topics to brush up on, so this shouldn’t ever feel like a chore!
On the following pages, we identify the nooky positions that will increase your likelihood of having the best climax of your life. Some focus chiefly on your clitoris, others are great for G-spot gratification and still others are extraordinary for emotional intimacy — a climax clincher for many women. But with all of them, the secrets are in the subtleties. "I don't care if you're baking a cake, racing a car or making love," says Lou Paget, best-selling author of The Big O. "It's your attention to detail that takes it from so-so to over-the-top sensational." Hands down (and pants too), you'll find that these body bounces will push your buttons like never, ever before.

If you have a comfortable recliner or reading chair, try putting a pillow on the floor in front of you, scooting to the edge of the chair and inviting your partner to kneel in front of you. This can also work on the edge of a bed. Inviting your lover to kneel in front of you and perform oral sex is a delicious way to allow them to worship your lovely body.


Flying foxes have been observed engaging in oral sex.[57] Indian flying fox males will lick a female's vulva both before and after copulation, with the length of pre-copulation cunnilingus positively correlated with length of copulation.[58] The fruit bat Cynopterus sphinx, has been observed to engage in fellatio during mating. Pairs spend more time copulating if the female licks the male than if she does not.[56][59] Male Livingstone's fruit bats have been observed engaging in homosexual fellatio, although it is unknown if this is an example of sexual behavior or social grooming.[60] Bonin flying foxes also engage in homosexual fellatio, but the behavior has been observed independently of social grooming.[57]
While you’ll discover a rhythm that works best with each partner, there are some great routes to take your experimentation while finding the geography of touch that works for you. “While licking, sucking, and massaging your partner’s clitoris with your tongue, try inserting one or two fingers into her vagina," says Morse. "With your palm facing up, employ a come hither motion with your digits in order to stimulate her G-spot (which is usually located on the upper wall of her vagina, about 2 inches in)." While you're doing this, sync it up with the motions of your tongue to help heighten her pleasure (and give her a stronger orgasm). You can also bring a small, easy-to-handle clitoral vibrator into the mix, like the We-Vibe Touch.

Social stigma seems to focus on the taste of women’s genitals more than men’s. In fact, men can smell and taste just as strong as women. If you're new to fellatio, you might be worried about taste and smell. If so, suggest a sexy bath or shower together and start with a clean slate. While the artificial tastes may be no better (and can be much worse) some people like to use flavored lubricant or put on a flavored condom, which may not taste better but comes with the added benefit of making oral sex a bit safer.


It’s hard to describe just how hard having a female body can be. Women are expected to live up to the insane standards perpetuated by the media. We’re bombarded by Photoshopped images of perfect bodies and shamed for not living up these ideals. Every single body part is nitpicked to death. Aside from the usual flat stomach, perky boobs, and shapely butt, we’re supposed to have thin, toned arms, be cankle-free, and even delicate collarbones. On top of all of that, we’re socialized to believe that our genitals “look weird” and “smell funny.”
Option 3 is that you join over 30,000 Blowjob Queens that have benefited from my step-by-step program. Now they're enjoying loving and secure relationships with the man of their choice. They have more control over their love life and never have to worry about cheating, feeling sexually inadequate or worry if he's satisfied. And they don't have to wonder – they know exactly how to give killer blowjobs while feeling supremely confident, sexy and empowered – so they know it's the best blowjob of his life... and now you can too. 

His Shaft: No, I’m not talking that empty space you can look out to from your bathroom window but rather his genitals. For something extra special, form two rings with your thumb and index fingers placing one at the end and one on the head and move them in opposite directions meeting in the middle. Start slow, go faster and slow down again, and close your eyes… a pinky eye is not becoming on anyone!

Nancy Friday's book, Men in Love – Men's Sexual Fantasies: The Triumph of Love over Rage, suggests that swallowing semen is high on a man's intimacy scale.[17] The man receiving fellatio receives direct sexual stimulation, while his partner may derive satisfaction from giving him pleasure. Giving and receiving fellatio may happen simultaneously in sex positions like 69 and daisy chain.
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